roses were red
violets were blue
now they are black
i dont know what to do

my life is in shambles
my heart beats too fast
my stomachs constantly turning
and i find myself fumbling

i found a new hobby
one you'll love too
its called counting the lines
and colouring them too.

my choice is long
with lots to follow
as the red paint sets in
tears well in my eyes.

you see i draw with a blade across my skin and paint with my blood which seems so thin for it's pouring out fast and there is no telling if its stopping
I'm too tired to play more.
Good Night and Good COUNTING.

-been

You cried for her to her face
you never did that for me.
I guess that makes me selfish
and yes i agree but sometimes we all need a little greed
thats what makes life so unique.

-Been

watch me daddy!
she yelled at 6 years old
she does a summersault and he didn't pay attention.
watch me daddy?
she asks at 10 years old
she takes her first dive and he didn't even notice.
watch me, dad
she tells him at 17 years old
as she walks up to receive her diploma.
he didn't even look up not registering her success.
But she paid attention, she noticed, it registered that he didn't care.
watch me daddy...
she whispered and weeped
as she jumped of that chair with the rope around her neck and ***** on her breath.
he noticed, he paid attention, it registered he had forgotten and now he had lost his little girl.
he realized actions speak louder than words.

-been

You can only be pushed so far,
cause there is only so much rope,
till you're caught
DANGLING.
But there is an escape,
with a razer,
a gun or a hand full or pills...
BUT ALL ARE MESSY!
-Been

Do you ever feel like your drowning?
Like no matter what you do your not resurfacing?
Your trying to scream for help but your suffocating?
Your heart is weak but its beating and all you can do is wish it starts quiting.
Your not even living anymore you're just sinking.
Nobody can even see this happening because they arent caring.
You thought you were striving but inside you are just dying.
Your mind is trapped from the constant lying.
Im okay.
I am okay.
No i am not okay!
I am alone!
I am scared!
I AM DROWNING! SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME!
...
...
...
Its okay i understand your busy...
-Been

I won't follow the rules, because that's boring.

I will however be the best in my line of writing because I am the only me out there.

You may not like my style, and thats okay because no one said you had to read it.

You may think I'm wasting my time trying, but that's your opinion, as mine is your wasting yours judging something you're too ignorant to understand.

You may think what I write is dark, but I know it is light, compared to the real world.

Your thoughts are yours to ponder.

My works are mine to publish.

Whether you think they are worthy or not.
-been

You were the reason she went up there.
The reason why she jumped out.
And you are the reason why the only thing to catch her was that old scratchy rope.
No she didnt go quickly, nor she went softly.
But atleast she went alone with out a sound.
Isnt that what you wanted?
Cause shes gone now.
-Been

Just a picture.
Another memory.
Another face.
Another story.

One cuts deep but you'll never know, for the cuts are in her soul. Her tears scream blood ******. Her laughter is a haunt, from the passenger she used to carry, the one that got lost. she fumbled in the dark trying to find it, but grabbed the wrong piece. Leaving the puzzle broken.
And carrying a beast.
-been

I may be living
But I'm most definitely not striving.
I feel like I'm diving to rock bottom
But it waz a minute ago I felt like I was flying.
I get high to feel like I'm floating.
I drink to blur the motion.
Nothing's a solution.
I'm only prolonging the problem.
-Been

So the christmas seasons here
i'm told its filled with cheer
but not a smile will show on my face
because you disappeared

-Been

I let them flow
on the page like someone crying through the night.

The words that leave me are the ones that come from the girl who can't say them herself.

The words that show on my paper are the ones that come from the boy who thinks it will mean he's weak if he lets them escape.

I let them flow
on the page unlike the words that get trapped in the cage of their minds.

I let them flow like it's do or die

-been

When i was younger i wanted to be like any other guy only i didnt have the some thing between my thighs.
When i was told girls didnt like bugs and shouldnt play in the dirt that was the day i put on my very first skirt.
When i was toldgirls must always look hot, i looked down and realised i was not so i ran home and tried all my mothers make up.
When i was told i looked like a clown with my face caked on i ran home and cried myself to nothing because i was to embarrased to show my bare self.
When i was told to give up id never be good enough i left and never looked back.
Im too good to be put down by someone who never should have mattered, that is why everyday i feel flattered when i walk out my front door knowing im better than i ever was before.

Your the way you are and thats the most beautiful thing you can ask for!

-Been

I want to feel you touch my body with your hands.

I want to know what it's like to be touched by a man.


-Been

when are you coming home brother?
the gun shots are so loud
mother is very worried
but papa so proud

dont you worry about me sister
im coming home to you
tell ma im fine and l love her
and pai love him too

brother i miss you so dearly
you've fought for so long
everybodys praying for you
and i wrote you a song

i was told you were hurt badly
you said you would come home
i cant wait to see you
i feel so all alone
hello brother can you hear me?
you were so brave out there
your in a better place now
life is oh so unfair!
-Been

The words are like rope,
wrapped around her neck.
The stares are like blades,
that cut through her wrists.
The laughs are like needles,
that tear through her skin.

But none of that can compare to her mind that is like a gun, the trigger pulled fast and the bullet through her head...
You see that is what had happened.
What left her dead.

-been

When your home is no longer home.
When your dreams become forgotten.
When love never existed.
When your hero's come crashing.
When you give it your all to find out it was for nothing...

GIVE UP!

-been