Actually scratch that.

I miss the things we planned to do,
The drives
The lunch dates
The lazy mornings watching movies
And how our just woken up tongues would taste.

I miss the memories I hoped to have,
But I guess you didn't think the same

I'm not quite sure what I said,
Why it all turned out this way
Or what caused you to leave me sitting alone in that park.

Maybe it was the alcohol,
Or maybe you were afraid of what might happen.

Either way.
When I looked down at you
That one lazy morning,
Right before you gave up on me,
I wanted you
With all my heart

But in your eyes I saw how apprehensive you were.
I saw the barbed wire around your tongue
And the metal fences behind your eyes I'm not strong enough to climb.

It doesn't help you kept building it higher.

So to make it simple.
When people ask me what's wrong
Because they see the bags you left under my eyes
Or the flesh you took that used to pad my ribs.
I remember how I came home smelling like you
Because we hadn't stopped touching each other for hours.

And I'll tell them,
I had a few late nights
Waiting for a friend to get home
So I knew they were safe.

If we are being honest
I know you will come home,
But I am not your home.
I tried,
I would have done close to anything to be

But I was too weak to climb your fenses
And I cut myself too many times on your sharp edges

If you hadn't left I would have let myself be cut to ribbons.

I wait for you
In my thoughts,
and in my dreams.
I don't know how long you'll take,
all I know is that you'll be here soon.
My reach is far,
and my hopes are big,
after coming to the realization
that you probably won't come,
and that this is all
in my head.

As I look at this woman in the mirror, she is looking right at me. Her face tells the story of her life through the lines on her face and piercing of her eyes. Her voice of wisdom came from the roads traveled along her way.  With her thoughts traveling close to me her past far away.. as I stare at her in my mirror I listen close as she speaks,
This life has been a journey, I've learned many things.
I've taken roads I never should have taken, I've made choices I knew were wrong when I made them, I've failed when I could have succeeded, I've stayed when I should have left, and I've fallen in many holes I dug by myself. There will be some point in my future when I may repeat one if not  all i have mentioned above. But there is always a positive to every negative rest assure for the mistakes I've made, made me the woman I am today. I am only human. I do not stand above or below. We are all created equal.  If given the chance to change my past, I would not change one thing because my mistakes have made me wiser to, The roads I know  not to travel again, choices I refuse to make because I know they are wrong, I will never give up if I know in my heart I can succeed, I will do my best to not put myself in any situation if I know better , and last but not least, if I dig myself a hole you can bet one thing, I will have a shovel  to dig myself back out. So Love me or hate me it's a choice for you to make. But always remember I live my life the way I see fit and the opinions of others I may consider but never forget, I wasn't looking for a friend when I found them so if they were to leave I probably wouldn't miss them as I've lived my entire life without them.So love the person you see in this mirror for all that they can be because at the end of the day the one true love I have is this woman in my mirror staring back at me .
©kimmied1105

he's human.
he's not sane or emotionless.
he's stupid,
and his jokes are hit or miss.
he used to be foolish,
but then he finally found a friend.
she wasn't poetic or aware,
and she smelled of fake confidence.
they mostly got along,
even after bad arguments.
but she was still foolish.,
and thought she could outrun the truth.
and if it wasn't for his truthfulness,
they might've even fallen in love.
but that story is just an overdue eulogy,
of all things that could,
but shouldn't be.