9 years now it has been,
another year went by.... yet again.
My heart it still aches,  
you consume all my thoughts.
The sound of your voice though,
a memory I've  tragically lost.
Time never heals you,
it just makes things fade.
So I worry with terror,
will I soon forget your face?
Sometimes when I'm alone,
I picture you here next to me.
Then I pray that you're not,
Because you'd hate what you see.
It shames me to say it but you would be ******,
if you saw how I royally ****** up my ****.
Many choices I've made that I now regret,
Despite all your warnings,
Uncle,


         I'm addicted to ****.


I hate it so much I need your help,
I am completely and fully ashamed of myself.
Your Tweety Birds broken,
beyond repair?
Why did you leave us,
Uncle it's not ******* fair!
Everyone tells me you knew I loved you,
I can't help but wonder....
Would you still love me too?
After every wrong choice
and all my regrets,
after losing my girls,
Cuz' I'm addicted to ****
So how would you do it?
Still love who I am.....
I don't think you could do it,
Don't think anyone can.

Rose's with thorns waiting to draw blood,
a heartbroken girl who thought she had been loved.
The inky blackness of skies on a moonless night,
finding comfort in the darkness she always hid from the light.
A shadow of a doubt that's caused by the knowledge,
and all of her thoughts about everything he did.
Slowly the wounds in her heart started to ache,
still, the only person she wanted had caused her this pain.
Chance after chance and forgiveness she tried that,
now cold and defeated in the dark is where she sat.
The shadow keeps growing she can not escape it,
but in her denial, she refuses to face this.
Wishing she knew what her next move should be,
stay wrapped in his torment or be abandoned but free?

There are things about me,
Things that I do.
That makes me hate myself,
when I talk to you.

See you remind me,
That I could get clean.
But addiction is so strong,
When it's methamphetamine.

It's not like any other,
I've done lots of drugs before.
But this stuff is toxic,
I hate it but need more.

Can you even imagine,
What it's like for me?
Hating it every moment,
And wishing to be clean.

Every time I take a hit,
It nearly brings me to tears.
I know it is the reason,
I've missed Lily's first 2 years.

Can I even stop using it?
Want to but don't know I can.
Years of pain I've been numbing,
I just don't understand.

Like every waking moment,
Of my life is nothing but ****.
So as I sit there thinking all this,
I exhale and take one more hit...

He had promised her the world,
When first they had met.
Fast forward about 4 years,
All she's been given was regret.
Trust and loyalty broken,
To many times to count,
She Gave him all her love,
And he just threw it out.
Never did he ever care for her,
She finally realized,
Every word he spoke to her,
Each of them all lies.
Nothing but abuse he gave,
The only tangible gift.
All she ever wanted,
Was to just be only his.
And still he always would cheat and lie,
and when faced with the proof,
he just denied.
So you see her time it's wasted,
But she won't give up yet.
Because shes stuck there waiting,
For the man she met to come back...

At first I thought I'd miss you,
after I went away.
But then I realized the truth,
you already avoid me everyday.
So I don't need to worry,
about without you what I'll do.
Because you've already taught me,
how it is living without you.
At first I thought you would miss me,
when you couldn't hold me to you.
But then I figured out the facts,
you don't need me cuz you have you.

Never before had I felt so betrayed,
it's like all those promises, never were made.
     Joke was on me though, for thinking that true,  were any of the words, spoken by you.
     Like shattered glass, in pieces it's torn,
my heart, it was broken, beaten and worn.
     Used for convenience, or maybe it was for fun?
     But did I truly deserve, everything that you'd done?
     Did you get enjoyment, from the tears that I'd cry?
      It felt like you did, I still don't understand why.
      Promises were broken, trust was shattered; no repair.
      And then, you had the nerve, to try to tell me you cared.