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you defined my pain
and i'd be lying if wiped my tears and told myself
this lasts forever
my mind tricks me into thinking
i was worth something to you
because we all know, in the end,
my regrets will pile forevermore
and i can't say that
the words i speak have good intentions
everyone gives me hope that
i can be something more,
but i know
i mean nothing to the world

now read it from bottom to top.

abstract, #1

inspired after i read the poem "pretty ugly"
why do tears leave all the stains
and smudge the ink i used?
why must you always rearrange
the tattered and abused?
yes, some things are too torn to fix,
but here i pray and wish and wish—
oh, these everlasting blues
i broke three promises made to you:
one, to always feel with heart,
two, to yearn when we're apart,
three, never admit wrong from the start—
my mind the stars and world the chart
oh, it's torture, everlasting blues,
why do i do what i do?
.
said i wasnt going to write about sadness again, im not sad, it's just i have a whole pile of poems left from when i was
◇♡
enchanting, starless night
gently spilled moonlight
paint me in its fright
my heart is to ignite
love, shall we rewrite
beneath the meek twilight—
calling for the night,
"oh, cold and shattered bite,
embrace me in moonlight"
♡◇
. had to repost, i think it deleted?? idk where the original is :(
perfectly poised, i paint poignant statures
alive yet devoid, an entrancing actor
diamonds and daggers i dazzled through
a circus girl's cunning, but a heart beats true

pirouette, ball change, waltz and twirl
singsong silly circus girl
my heart is heavy but i cannot weep
my eyes are closed but i never sleep.
.

the deepest oceans are the darkest ones
miracle eyes outshine the sun
forsaken forever, my heart you won
oh, miracle eyes, mend love undone

.
oh, rose addicted lips,
cruel and beautiful,
whisper your gentle lies
and ponder;
what do you despise more,
the ache or the release?
.
she had flaked away her memories
and stepped up
with a ponderous heart,
held by two gentle hands;
and saying goodbye, did she,
as she slipped off her skin,
for the moment blood stains
the kumari's tender soul,
bereaved, will she become,
for a goddess never bleeds.

her feet shall never touch
the tattered, naked ground,
for it engulfs and devours
and burns off the kumari's flesh.
holding her pure spirit, and
  accepting a cruel death sentence,
her quivering soul
cupped but a glimmer of hope,
as the fire would flicker
and lash and whip
as her skin flakes again,
and the kumari vanishes.

but, if she remains unscathed,
blood shall be drawn,
and the gods will tremble and
her body will collapse.
the world will consume her
once again.

a kumari's blood,
drawn, now at death,
trembling and alone,
had she sobbed tears of joy,
for no longer the weight
must she bear in her heart,
of being a kumari;
but a kumari is she,
and the world has not chose her,
but she has chosen to be.

she had withered away,
heart no longer ponderous,
she stepped up.
and her wishes from within
passed on to the fearful others,
held by two gentle hands, and
with a gentle flutter of her eyes,
next to her charcoal stained skin,
had her heart stopped;
for her bejeweled crown had been stained with blood,
and the kumari realized that
she had died long ago.
i worked really ******* this
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