this pit is as
empty as they
say. i may find fruit
or some water if luck
spins my way.

do you care to
join me? we could really
make a home here.
help me scratch the
black off the walls
and ill be in your debt.

i have been mistaken,
so i will mislead.
the def will lead
you blind and we will
all be lost.

a heart like
my mothers purse,
time tested and
full of everything.
a mess really,
but always ready to
prove me wrong
when i think
i dont need it.

if you care to look
you might find something
for me. i only ask
because i hear it
call my name through
the leather.

i am nothing if
not just my mistakes,
with bones.

i will wear a cheap suit
to your dinner party
and hit on your wife
by accident.

sorry.
im just so tired of pretending
id rather just be.
Confident
Sad.
Arrogant.
Alone.

when you are those things
you just are.
and when you want to be
youre just toxic.

i am green.
with poison and absence
of anything someone would call
normal life experience.  
i cant tell *** from tequila
but i will drink them both
if offered.

i thought i found
heaven on the queensway,
it was really just a cable boy,
who wants to make music.

maybe you and i
could take time
for each other.

a stroll through
the leaves in
sacramento.

why cant we fly
like the crows?
they only know

about everything
ive ever turned
a stone over for.

we never get
to taste the fruit
for ourselves.

this cheap dinner
is no armour for
the life you keep

out from me,
a magicians dream
you cant see the fake

thumb that hides a
phoney penny.
its really only worth

half what he says.
the show and the
tricks are just

tricks.

someone i know and love
with all my heart and soul
told me shes been struggling.
and went on to describe
symptoms of bipolar disorder to me
like an alien had visited her.

shes scared
and i am too,
i dont think she knows what bipolar really means
and i wouldnt know either because i dont have it
but foolish me always figured
this gift of mine
could never be tainted
by what the devil keeps on tap.
i just assumed
it would never be a problem.

i forgot how thin the rope we walk is
and how sharp the dragons teeth are
that keep waiting for us to fall over.
i never once worried
it felt like a waste of time to me
she did such a good job taking care of me
i never thought to ask

there was only enough food for one of us and
ive never gone hungry from her hands

love and guilt
are different cars
on the same highway