RebelGirl: Favorites

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

Remus

I was placed in a grave,
but I crawled out for you.

It wasn’t because you were
charming or handsome,
but how I felt as you spoke.

The flutter of my heart,
the laughter escaping me,
and I how I desperately wanted
to kiss you.

I reached out,
you were all I ever wanted,
but I reached too soon.

The ground crumbled around my feet,
and I was 6 feet under
my heart filled with despair.

#sadness #relationship #depression #breakup #love #unrequited

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

Red Notebook

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

Lyda M Sourne

Red Notebook

And she poured her pain out
in a red notebook.
Because that was the only way
she could bleed.

I want to die but I don't like pain

#suicide #trigger #depression #anxiety #notebook #journal #red

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

A Walking Dead Girl

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

Marlo Qi SilhouetteOfADeadKid

A Walking Dead Girl

The pain
has faded.
I don’t need it to end.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel,
at least a little.
I can see the optimism in
life.
I can see Everything,
and I thought that was enough
but maybe it's too much

because nothing’s going to change the fact
that I see myself as a walking dead girl.

I can now bare the pain
in my head.
But the pain is still there.
I’m still in the tunnel.
And even though I’m doing better,
I don’t think that it’s
Enough.

If I once was supposed to
**** myself
then maybe
I wasn’t supposed to
live.

The pain
has faded.
I don’t need it to end.
I’m happy,
at least a little.
I’m fine

But nothing’s going to change the fact
that I see myself as a walking dead girl.

#suicide #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #saveme #recovery #dead #pain #optimism

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

Just some Girl

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

Marlo Qi SilhouetteOfADeadKid

Just some Girl

They say I’m
               “Just some girl”
         but they don’t know me

   They don’t know
                               what I stand for
   They don’t know
                       what I’ve been through

   They don’t know who I am.
   They don’t know anything about me
                      but neither do I.

   Maybe I am “Just some girl”

   Just some OUTSIDER girl
   Just some ASIAN girl
   Just some PRIVILEGED girl
   Just some ANNOYING girl

                       I AM JUST SOME GIRL

   Just some girl who CRIED IN CLASS
   Just some girl who NEVER TALKS
   Just some girl who NO ONE KNOWS

Just some girl that killed herself last night and leaves you wondering,
                                 maybe she wasn’t
                                  JUST SOME GIRL

#regret #justsomegirl #givingup #depression #suicide #anxiety #socialanxiety #unsure #assumptions #misunderstood

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

8 Reminders That Shouldn't Be

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

Marlo Qi SilhouetteOfADeadKid

8 Reminders That Shouldn't Be

breath,
    in and out,
    over and over.

2. get up,
    every morning,
    do your best.

3. eat,
    try,
    it’s okay if you can’t.

4. brush your teeth,
    back and forth,
    keep it up.

5. brush your hair,
    daily,
    you can do this.

6. go to school,
    dont shut down,
    interact.

7. come home,
    you’re  close,
    make it through.

8. breath,
    but I can’t.

#depression #suicide #itgetsbetter #anxiety #socialanxiety #breath #reminders #selfcare

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

If i keep breathing then i have to keep living

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

Miseria

If i keep breathing then i have to keep living

if i keep living
then i have to keep hurting

#breathing #love #hate #depression

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

princess

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

jissel

princess

Royalty

The medieval concept of living in a castle

The ring

The status

The power of authority over a monarchy

Pretty and pink with glamour and jewels right?

Just like those silly books you used to read right?

Sad reality, I’m kept isolated

Wearing isolation on my sleeve as if it was a grand prize achievement

No sights around me other than these stupid fancy painted walls

and people watching over me

almost as if I was a prisoner that committed horrible crimes

The idea is so stupid to me

Soon I’m hoping to escape

To see breathtaking scenes

Going to the moon for all I care

Or even making my way down the busy streets

Just getting away

I don’t want to be protected from the world anymore

I want to be free and make stupid choices

I want to see how it’s like to be loved and heartbroken

The meaning of “royalty” isn’t as great as everyone thinks

Not like those silly books you used to read

Royalty

The Isolation

Restriction

Incompetence

first poem (:

#princess #royalty

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

exhausted.

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

jissel

exhausted.

at night,
I used to lay in my bed
crying.
now,
I just lay there
with a blank expression on my face.
I never thought I'd get used the feeling,
well...
the feeling of whatever feeling this is.

but I did.

I wasn't too proud of this poem only because it seemed a little bland to me, but I've had it in my drafts for a while and decided to just go ahead and publish it (:

#numb #senseless #feelings

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

A Letter from the Lonely

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

Will

A Letter from the Lonely

It's been a rough year.
It feels so tiring, to be so alone.
When I wake up in an empty bed, I cannot help but run away.
My heart has no home.
I long to fade into you.
Am I the chorus or the verse?
Neither lasts that long.
I know not what I do.
I just want to be held, to feel like I belong.
I reach out my hand, but only touch the void.
I feel it flowing through my veins.
They say This soon shall pass.
But it will never fade, my loneliness has already overtaken the day.

#loneliness #sadness #depression

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

Dirty play

Feb 2018 RebelGirl

Tina RSH

***** play

I? A Heroine? You care about the end?
A nice story to encourage children for life!
While I wade through a swamp of thoughts
ugly, muddy, smelling of death trolls underneath.
I do doubt if there is an end at all.
I do doubt each temporary sense of joy.
I call them clever decoys, set by time
And time to fool us all like a group
of chickens fluttering wings for food.
yes, darling! All heroines passed the road
put an end, bold as brass, daring as a dagger
but I,baby-like, stumble and stagger
This isn't fair, and fair is not the point.
Let the pain crumble each muscle and joint.
But life! oh life plays her cards close to her chest!
And knows how to make disorder manifest.

#life #sad #depression #despair #hopeless #hope #mentalillness #struggle #spiritual #philosophy