i can hardly wait
to sleep in the grass.
rewrite a love song and
call it a night.

if only i could
see myself on stage
maybe we could skip
right to the part
where we win.

i couldnt believe
she left her favorite
song for something new.
maybe im no good
for an addict.
just here to speed
up the process.

id even dance
if thats what it took.
or maybe im a colorful
frame of reference.
how bad can it really be?

or maybe ive swam
too deep in the water
again. it wouldnt be the
first time i fell without
a place to land.

we could start as friends
or die as lovers.
or maybe even both
if we play our cards wrong.

maybe you and i
could take time
for each other.

a stroll through
the leaves in
sacramento.

why cant we fly
like the crows?
they only know

about everything
ive ever turned
a stone over for.

we never get
to taste the fruit
for ourselves.

this cheap dinner
is no armour for
the life you keep

out from me,
a magicians dream
you cant see the fake

thumb that hides a
phoney penny.
its really only worth

half what he says.
the show and the
tricks are just

tricks.

it rained like
god was mad
today.

and he was
mad.
make no mistake.

the rain brings out
the worst
in me.

but when it
stopped, i saw
his promise

like a drawing
like art
in my sea.

it may be tired
but it hit me like
the punch i needed.

i am deep in the
rain, but he
made a promise.

i havent seen
the stars in
so long.

or maybe i
havent bothered
to look.

i ******* love
to hate me in
the morning.

its all red and white
but ive inhaled so much
second hand smoke
i wheeze when i
take it all
in.

i cant be pleased.
a mosquito bite
that moves when you
find me,
i haven't been satisfied
since 2004
and i don't necessarily
remember what did it
either.

theres a kid rock song
on the radio
and i blast it
so loud
i cant hear myself
forget to turn
away from
the ditch on the side
of the road.

my glasses go first
through the windshield.
i dont remember much
just that its
quieter
than the movies.

morphine hypnosis and
hospital food.
im back where
the hell all started.

i ******* love
to hate me in
the morning.

theres a
blue jay out there
with a
key
for my
lock.

will it take
my guts for
treasure?
or see the slash
in my belly as
flaw.
hamartia.

would it take
me naked?
glitch personified,
i knock three times
at the door.
its cold and i
am ready
to die in your
arms again.

******* like
the perfect man.
but let my neck drape
low like
an unpicked Lady.
bathe me in attention
but dont ask if ive earned it.

'its chilly out here'
she told me through
smoke
from her breath.
well god bless the
turpentine i transfused
for my blood
thats keeping me
upright.

i only live in the now
and by the time you
get there
ill be gone.
chasing a pipedream
or a dragon that might
give me a different
perspective
on things.

'its chilly out here'
she told me through
smoke
from her breath.
all you want is warmth
but i breathe
snow and
hail
into your atmosphere
not because i want to,
it just cant stay
here
anymore.

i dreamt a pair
of wings into my
life to find if i was
ready to see
the tops of buildings
without wanting to
jump
off them but i
gave up.
only i know whats
good
for me i think
thats the
problem.

'its chilly out here'
she told me through
smoke
from her breath.
she wiped the
frost
from my hair
and i felt
juvenile
the comfort of nothing
all over.
the
high
ive been chasing
from the edge
of a
hand.

i am stuck in a
tangerine dream.
a breath of fresh air
or just air
that seems fresh
to me.

red face
quilled with ice cold
water.

there is only beauty
between the cracks
of contrast.

//

i cant call myself
a poet
if i dont tell you
that her lips
look soft.

they could heal me
like a bandaid
and hurt just as much
to peel off.

it doesnt feel like
virginia yet.
maybe only
vermont
or conneticut.

but im ready
to go home
if home feels
like it used to.