"taters" poems
trip up the island to see all the folk
monopoly, pong => pig 'n a poke
crystalline glass with dark bitter ale
Santa is looking a little bit pale
cherry red cheeks from a chilled chardonnay
one sailing wait for the talk of the day
drum sticks and dressing are the pick of the bird
chestnuts and brandy for gravy being stirred
brussels and taters are pulled from the bake
pears in the salad bring memories of Jake
sparks from the fire with rich amber glow
grey hair and wrinkles will come...don't you know?
gingerbread man with a white icing smile
candy cane schnapps (with its seasonal style!)
pine cones and tinsel that cover the tree
carols are humming from churches and streets
cold winter nights are the best of the year
chocolate and eggnog await with good cheer
a heavy thick fog approaches the sound
the comforts of Christmas, with joy all around!
Dec 10, 2017
Dec 10, 2017 at 9:48 PM UTC
I say unto you with a sniveling snarl,
Will you go on and be friends with an owl?
Why, YES! I said boldly with a pompety grin
My new owl friend will be lucky and win!
He will hoot and toot a most beautiful song
He will win a singing contest and sing all day long
We will take all his winnings and spend it on mead
We'll sing, drink and be merry, indeed!
we'll capture a horse and dress it in tweed
then ride to the sunset on our horse named, "Sardine!"
Sardine might get hungry so we'll feed him some hemp
We'll lay down to rest on a bed that's unkempt
We'll wake in the morning to see Sardine's fate
Sardine has died from starvation this date
The sorrow we feel is so hard to beat
So opon his flesh we started to eat
w'ell pair it with taters all mashed in a pan
we'll eat up our dinner as fast as we can
but hold on a second, how silly are we!
We tripped on some mushrooms we found on a tree!
our minds started swirling and twirling; so dizzy!
my owl friend shrieked and then started to tizzy
he gouged out my eyes and laughed at my pain
I fell to the ground and made peace with my name
for I never did say from whence I came
cause stories like this are not easy to tame
I lay here in misery, my friend's not to blame
It's all in my head, this silly word game
Aug 23, 2018
Aug 23, 2018 at 12:48 PM UTC
Memaw & Pepaw ..Mason Dixon Saturday night,
Just sippin' muscadine wine by the Tennessee moonlight
Rockin' chairs...Zenith Black and White
Roy, Buck, Minnie Pearl a Hee Haw delight.
Crickets a chirpin' and a Frogs a croakin'
Toe tapin' rhythm's got em all in motion.
Corn fields swaying like a metronome
Watching those two dance to cotton eye Joe!
Sunday mornings best at the Church of Christ,
Me, I'm Thinkin' bout Memaws country gravy, my fav-o-rite!
Fried Chicken, taters, eggs sunny side right,
These are the memories I like to recite.
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 5, 2016 at 12:19 PM UTC
Slang Or common talk
Yay all knows that peoples talk funny
If yous are from the south.
They cut off the lights and jaw jack alls night long.
If youns need to find something.
We cans find it down the road a piece or maybe over yawner.
So if you think I talk funny or in slang.
You alls need to catch the seconds of taters and grits and pig fat.
You alls come back now you hear.
And yes bring granny and the boys well have a shing dig.
Aug 17, 2014
Aug 17, 2014 at 2:24 PM UTC
There was never before heard
Such a cacophony
As the day I witnessed
The vegetable medley
'Since you've bean gone'
They blasted out
The runners and broads joined in song
They could have rocked it all night long
But it was Taters turn
They rocked the stage
The veggies went wild
The 'monster mash' was all the rage
Then was petit pois chance to shine
He wowed them with a dance
Then made the broccoli sway and weep
With 'Give peas a chance'
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 8:13 PM UTC
Please, read this with the thickest southern accent you've ever heard. It's my language. It's my home...
Hee Haws on the TV
Chicken's fryin' in cast iron skillets
Taters and maters scent mama's clothes
no AC
Papaws in the bacca field
Granny's sippin' on sweet tea
The law stopped comin' here they say,
Back in '23
The fruit's ripe for pickin
daddy did that last week
He said the Apple brandy
Tasted perfect,
bitter sweet
The moonshine makers meet
When the crickets sing at night
they pass around mason jars
'neath the moon
and southern stars
The wine stays burried till fall
muskadine,
other than strawberry
the very best kind
The yanks
buy it up
Its funny to watch 'em
they can't handle their stuff
The Demory Mart stays busy
oh Lord it's so much fun!
When the moonshiners play pool,
till the rising of the sun
Momma don't like it,
Lord she gets so mad!
But she puts my church shoes on me
and I know she still loves dad
But now the still's turned green
as copper always does
There are no moonshiners left
Time has passed, just 'cause
Papaw's gone
the fields have grown up
there are no moonshiners left
it's all store bought, mason jars
have turned to cups
Demory Mart is Yankee owned
the church has indoor plumbing
But late at night, I hear the banjo's
and the stills, copper humming....
Jul 26, 2017
Jul 26, 2017 at 10:39 PM UTC
On Christmas Day we wake up
We've no stocking on our bed
We've got a plastic kit box
taking up space there instead
You see, we aren't at home with you
Even though you wish we are
We're celebrating Christmas
Over here in Khandahar
A big Merry Christmas to friends and family
of Cpl. Mike Cannandale of St. Louis, Missouri, USA
We have our turkey dinner too
Stuffing, taters, pumpkin pie
We all sit here telling stories
And it's hard just not to cry
so, we do, because we're not back home
Having Christmas like you all
But, we're over here in Khandahar
Because we all answered the call
Merry Christmas to all friends and family of Liuetenant James Mc Caskill
of Great Grimsby, Lincolnshire, England
We have a snowman by our tent
He's made of plywood, painted white
Thank god, we made no snowballs up
We'd get splinters in a fight
We go to church and pray for peace
And wish we could go home
But, over here at Christmas time
There's just no where to roam
Merry Christmas to friends and family of
Captiain John Watson, PPCLI, in Greenwood, Nova Scotia, Canada
We made our videos last week
To send you our best wishes
We'd all love to be back with you
Washing up those Christmas dishes
For now, we are one family
Joined in heart, and soul and mind
Having a Christmas meal in Khandahar
The best meal of it's kind
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to friends
and family, of Marine Master Sgt. Tim Wilcox, Plano, Texas, USA
Next year we will be home with you
Having Christmas as we should
Praying for peace, hope and prosperity
And all things that are good
for now though, we are over here
missing you this Christmas Day
We just hope you're thinking of us
As we keep the foe at bay
Merry Christmas to all the friends, family, co-workers and supporters
of all the soldiers in War Zones everywhere, who can't be at home this Christmas
May they all get home safe.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
Dec 12, 2012
Dec 12, 2012 at 7:34 PM UTC
Welcome to her house of many bones
Step into one of life's great unknowns
With broken dreams and shattered heart
In this carnival of freaks she is apart
For the price of a ticket you can see
All the horror, and agony there could ever be
All we ask is to put down your stones
On the left is a kingless throne
No love was ever ment to stay
I don't know why, it's just that way
On your right is the dreams that's died
Where want and reality did collide
In the next room you will find
All the demons that are in her mind
Young man, please step back
These demons will, and do attack
On her arm's you'll see the scars
Made with their talon like sharpened claws
Please don't dottle, let's hurry along
This sad little journey we don't want to prolong
Up next you'll find
Human monsters of every kind
They all wear a clever disguise
You won't even see them unless your wise
Of the shadow men take no heed
Off the sorrow they just feed
The closets doors all are open wide
Not one skeleton does she hide
Please don't be scared, please don't shout
The are free to dance about
Last but not lest I want to show
What happens when the anguish grows
Tormented by years of unbridled strife
In the coffin lies her pitiful life
It's not her body, for she is the walking dead
Heart in taters, screams echoing in her head
Eyes opened wide with years of dread
The light and happiness are always there mocking
You'll find her over there in the corner rocking
Yes she had to be restrained
In the straitjacket she will remain
It's for your safety, not hers
For the pain she endures
Is not for weak amateurs
Exit on the right
Single file, please don't fight
Enjoy the rest of the attractions
We guarantee a hundred percent satisfaction
Unless in this carnival of woeful souls you are captured
Then your only hope will be the rapture
Apr 17, 2016
Apr 17, 2016 at 7:16 PM UTC
Jolly good friends are we
Only because of “Raf-Rod” pain
Happiness when the assignments were complete.
Not far off is
Sonic,
Our favorite activity, but,
Not with out Dan
Best friends forever
I repeat,
Best friends forever
Leave it or take it
Everyone’s a hater
Crammed in the truck
Only Dan, Stan and Kendra
Leaving behind the haters
Loving our route 44’s and
Eating out taters
Getting all dressed up
Everyone in this city be jealous of us.
Oct 6, 2010
Oct 6, 2010 at 8:57 AM UTC
I was doing a little jig down the sidewalk
When all of a sudden
This red, bulbous, obstruction pounced into my field of view
I said, "Whoa, hotshot, cool down"
He/she/it did not reply
"I'm talking to you kiddo
Can you please communicate with me?"
It just sat there staring at me. Why?
You see, hydrants can be little stinkers sometimes
They'll talk your earlobe off one time
Other times they act like a sack of taters
They're just little drama queens
"Meow meow" said the hydrant
I take a look over yonder, than ask the **** target,
"Are you talking to me sir?"
"Meow," it said "I'm not sure I like your tone"
"You must be some sort of mind type hacker dealio
Cracking into my cerebellum, what are you doing in there?
Seriously man! Come on!
You must be going through emotional trauma. PTSD I don't know."
"Calm down buco, let's talk about this
Over a bucket of churned goat milk, I love that stuff.
How's Shirley? I hear she took up crocheting
I respect that"
"Grr, graa, paa?
Me oh my, this reminds me of pick up sticks all over again
Hey look at this man,
If you walk without rhythm, than you won't attract the worm."
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 2:27 AM UTC
clap for mashed potatoes
gravy on the side
ketchup smothered
is how i like my fries
love a baked potato
stuffed with everything
even like them broiled
butter and sour cream
hash browns grilled with onions
get my taste buds jumping
sometimes like them fancied
dressed up in au gratin
slurping of the soup
sprinkled down with parsley
even eat them raw sometimes
though the taste is gnarly
smoked me a tater once
living on the farm
followed around the little animals
till the cows came home
Aug 26, 2013
Aug 26, 2013 at 8:22 PM UTC
boiled
naked
South American tuber
whipped into a frenzy
dairy alterations
makes
a creamy smothered
tongue
dressed in a
silken coat of
carbohydrate glory.
May 12, 2014
May 12, 2014 at 4:28 PM UTC
Grocery Store Blues
gotta get on down get me some milk and bread
maybe some relief for this pain in my head
getting banged in the cart by this old blind broad
and those winey little kids shows my patience is flawed
slipped on a banana in the produce isle
twisted my ankle and fell into a pile
of baking taters we're all rolling on the floor
this goofy assed clerk saying what you do that for
got them grocery store blues
got them grocery store blues
I hate going but Im out of meat
my pantry is empty and I gotta eat
need some pickles and mustard and toilet paper too
crap I broke my glasses so also need some glue
knocked over a bottle of Gin now there's broken glass
everyone looking at me thinking look at that ***
now where are the toothpicks they're not on the chart
geez what's that smell did somebody ****
they're out of my smokes my favorite brand
like to give the check out dude the back of my hand
got them grocery store blues
got them grocery store blues
it's such a big hassle but what can I say
can't live on Big Macs every single day
Gomer LePoet ....
Oct 28, 2011
Oct 28, 2011 at 2:12 PM UTC
I like ANYTHING flavored with Onion ...
I like Onion rings ...
I like Onion straws ...
I don't, however, care for them raw.
In powder they're handy ...
On 'taters they're prized ...
And oh that smell ...
As they become caramelized!
I like French Onion Soup ...
I like Onion crisps ...
I like them in doses ...
I like them in wisps ...
On a side note ...
I must be fair ...
I prefer my friends with ...
As many layers ...
For seasoning meat ...
As many have known ...
That flavor infuses ...
Right to the bone ...
I like any type ...
From any ground ...
I've tried so many ...
The world around ...
I like them pureed ...
In macaroni salad ...
Minced in my meatloaf ...
They're definitely valid ...
I like how they smell ...
Even like how they look ...
But for some strange reason ...
They MUST be cooked!
Mar 1, 2018
Mar 1, 2018 at 12:01 PM UTC
Welcome to her house of many bones
Step into one of life's great unknowns
With broken dreams and shattered heart
In this carnival of freaks she is apart
For the price of a ticket you can see
All the horror, and agony there could ever be
All we ask is to put down your stones
On the left is a kingless throne
No love was ever ment to stay
I don't know why, it's just that way
On your left is the dreams that's died
Where want and reality did collide
In the next room you will find
All the demons that are in her mind
Young man, please step back
These demons will, and do attack
On her arm's you'll see the scars
Made with their talon like sharpened claws
Please don't dottle, let's hurry along
This sad little journey we don't want to prolong
Up next you'll find
Human monsters of every kind
They all wear a clever disguise
You won't even see them unless your wise
Of the shadow men take no heed
Off the sorrow they just feed
The closets doors all are open wide
Not one skeleton does she hide
Please don't be scared, please don't shout
The are free to dance about
Last but not lest I want to show
What happens when the anguish grows
Tormented by years of unbridled strife
In the coffin lies her pitiful life
It's not her body, for she is the walking dead
Heart in taters, screams echoing in her head
Eyes opened wide with years of dread
The light and happiness are always there mocking
You'll find her over there in the corner rocking
Yes she had to be restrained
In the straitjacket she will remain
It's for your safety, not hers
For the pain she endures
Is not for weak amateurs
Exit on the right
Single file, please don't fight
Enjoy the rest of the attractions
We guarantee a hundred percent satisfaction
Unless in this carnival of woeful souls you are captured
Then your only hope will be the rapture
Apr 6, 2016
Apr 6, 2016 at 12:24 PM UTC
They Call Me Jelly
well the feast hasn't even started yet
and already my gut hurts bad
should have never taken that bet
50 hot dogs is a lot for a lad
I stuff my face on a regular basis
a dozen eggs and a slab of bacon
people stare can't believe their faces
how many donuts have I now taken
got me one of those empty legs
I can stuff a lot inside my belly
guess I might be just a little fat
I suppose that's why folks call me Jelly
but tomorrow's the day when I'll put it away
taters and pies and turkey and peas
I'll stuff my face all **** day
hey that's my roll excuse me please
yes I bounce when I jog to the next turkey leg
get out of my way or I'll run you over
save me some dessert I plea and I beg
after this pie a whole box of Russel Stover
yeah I'm fat but I really don't care
kind of sleepy now guess I'll sit and watch some telly
an apple pie or maybe even a pair
guess that's why they call me Jelly
Gomer LePoet...
Sep 17, 2011
Sep 17, 2011 at 8:58 AM UTC
Welcome to her house of many bones
Step into one of life's great unknowns
With broken dreams and shattered heart
In this carnival of freaks she is apart
For the price of a ticket you can see
All the horror, and agony there could ever be
All we ask is to put down your stones
On the left is a kingless throne
No love was ever ment to stay
I don't know why, it's just that way
On your right is the dreams that's died
Where want and reality did collide
In the next room you will find
All the demons that are in her mind
Young man, please step back
These demons will, and do attack
On her arm's you'll see the scars
Made with their talon like sharpened claws
Please don't dottle, let's hurry along
This sad little journey we don't want to prolong
Up next you'll find
Human monsters of every kind
They all wear a clever disguise
You won't even see them unless your wise
Of the shadow men take no heed
Off the sorrow they just feed
The closets doors all are open wide
Not one skeleton does she hide
Please don't be scared, please don't shout
The are free to dance about
Last but not lest I want to show
What happens when the anguish grows
Tormented by years of unbridled strife
In the coffin lies her pitiful life
It's not her body, for she is the walking dead
Heart in taters, screams echoing in her head
Eyes opened wide with years of dread
The light and happiness are always there mocking
You'll find her over there in the corner rocking
Yes she had to be retrained
In the straight-jacket she will remain
It's for your safety, not hers
For the pain she endures
Is not for weak amateurs
Exit on the right
Single file, please don't fight
Enjoy the rest of the attractions
We guarantee a hundred percent satisfaction
Unless in this carnival of woeful souls you are captured
Then your only hope will be the rapture
May 14, 2016
May 14, 2016 at 2:23 PM UTC
It was a dark and stormy day,
Cooking tea in the usual way,
This was my mother long ago,
"Don't touch the pressure cooker, no!"
Subtly, she left the scene,
Forgot the cooker, its head of steam,
Bang! Did that curry explode,
Mum's response, implode!
"Why didn't you check that stove?"
"You told me not to touch it, no!"
All I can say on this, fifty years later,
Don't use pressure to cook my curry or taters!
Oct 3, 2019
Oct 3, 2019 at 3:54 PM UTC
Married at fourteen,
A whisper in a ram's horn,
From ****** bliss
To spit up and ****
In less than a year.
Add ten more years,
Seven babies,
And fifty tons of laundry.
"Ma,
"Da says the taters gone bad."
Could death be more happy?
Aug 29, 2010
Aug 29, 2010 at 9:23 AM UTC
North vs South
The war between the states didn't end.
In the north, we say Hello, in the south it's howdy.
In the north, we say you can go down the road a little way.
In the south, it's down a road a piece.
In the north, it's potatoes. In the south, it's taters.
In the north, it's turn off the lights. In the south cut the lights off.
And the best one yet is.
In the north, It's goodbye see you later.
In the south it's see you all later and you all come back now you hear.
Jul 10, 2014
Jul 10, 2014 at 5:58 PM UTC
I like taters
Yes indeed
I like taters
With my meat
I like taters
Don't you too
I like taters
In my stew
You like taters
Tell me please
You like taters
With
Cream cheese
Who likes taters
All mashed up
Who likes taters
With Ketchup
I have taters
Everyday
Mashed
Baked
Boiled
With
Gravy
Sep 14, 2016
Sep 14, 2016 at 9:21 PM UTC
Welcome to her house of many bones
Step into one of life's great unknowns
With broken dreams and shattered heart
In this carnival of freaks she is apart
For the price of a ticket you can see
All the horror, and agony there could ever be
All we ask is to put down your stones
On the left is a kingless throne
No love was ever ment to stay
I don't know why, it's just that way
On your left is the dreams that's died
Where want and reality did collide
In the next room you will find
All the demons that are in her mind
Young man, please step back
These demons will, and do attack
On her arm's you'll see the scars
Made with their talon like sharpened claws
Please don't dottle, let's hurry along
This sad little journey we don't want to prolong
Up next you'll find
Human monsters of every kind
They all wear a clever disguise
You won't even see them unless your wise
Of the shadow men take no heed
Off the sorrow they just feed
The closets doors all are open wide
Not one skeleton does she hide
Please don't be scared, please don't shout
The are free to dance about
Last but not lest I want to show
What happens when the anguish grows
Tormented by years of unbridled strife
In the coffin lies her pitiful life
It's not her body, for she is the walking dead
Heart in taters, screams echoing in her head
Eyes opened wide with years of dread
The light and happiness are always there mocking
You'll find her over there in the corner rocking
Yes she had to be restrained
In the straitjacket she will remain
It's for your safety, not hers
For the pain she endures
Is not for weak amateurs
Exit on the right
Single file, please don't fight
Enjoy the rest of the attractions
We guarantee a hundred percent satisfaction
Unless in this carnival of woeful souls you are captured
Then your only hope will be the rapture
Jul 13, 2016
Jul 13, 2016 at 2:13 PM UTC
I think I'm not going to participate in family gatherings I always feel left out or excluded. My aunts take cheap shots you think they'd know better. My cousins bad attitude but they always play the victim. I'm done feeling bad for them especially since they show me no sympathy or remorse. I don't need to feel bad or act like everything is fine but the reality is they **** me off and I want to cuss them off half the time. They aren't any good to me if I can't be myself or enjoy the occasion.
I'm ready to just say forget everyone move on to what's taters and will take me places. My future will be better if I stop fixing the broken because they end up breaking me.
Apr 1, 2013
Apr 1, 2013 at 3:29 AM UTC
*ok ******** you go in there alone, let's see you drinking a few beers in there, looking forward, walking, as if your eyes were closed.*
gone the woodwinds of old, the old orchestra
in taters... come this anarchistic tribalism
the spawn of capitalism,
without elders or any hierarchic
sensibility of respect, come... come!
it must come... terror on one side
via the enemy's wishes...
corruption on the side of our brethren,
the two culture clash...
yet still i remember the younger me
eager to collect the oeuvre of
iron maiden, prompted by
fear of the dark, later to discover
https://goo.gl/Z5xfLT (afraid to shoot
strangers), later to walk into the forests
alone in the dark, sitting on a fallen tree,
********** myself to bare skin
of the upper body and hearing a branch-snap
saying out-loud: 'no wild animal would come
this close'... in full-glitter moonlight,
then that dog... that dog chasing rabbits...
well, if the dog ain't real, neither are the rabbits...
you tested your Celtic Cerberus on me,
one headed, larger than an irish hound...
the dog... the dog... i just sat there
in the dark, drinking awaiting a hell-swarm...
but indeed a love for a single artist like that...
later came tool and slayer oeuvres...
but iron maiden stole me first...
if it were fear of darkness, why would i double
it by wearing sunglasses?
fear of the dark got me started...
i encapsulated all the productivity from the debut
album through to brave new world...
yes... all of the albums -
but i **** you not, that dog in Bower Wood at night...
Hades was nearby.
Apr 7, 2016
Apr 7, 2016 at 4:21 PM UTC
I’m not the kind of nasty guy
Who’d leave a nice girl high and dry.
When you need me most, I’ll be there,
With handy handkerchief in hand.
That’s right, I’m really pretty cool.
I always enunciate and rarely drool.
Though I guess my pillow’d beg to differ.
Unless you drool a lot, or suffer from liver quivers.
I’m certainly not the kind of who’d judge someone’s oral secretions.
All I know is that I like you lots,
Even more than tater-tots,
And that really does say a lot.
Trust me, I really like tots.
Would you like some tater-tots?
I do happen to have quite a lot.
Silly me, all this talk of tot and tater
Makes me realize the night is growing later.
Mother Moon really is a big hater.
Was that just a lazy rhyme for later?
It’s hard to say, but hey, did you like the cater-
Ing? I know it was mostly taters, but you know…
Potatoes are known for their versa-tater-ility.
Ah! What I meant to say is you look quite pretty.
From your eyes to your toes, I’d say… hit me!
Not that I’m into that sort of thing, no, not me.
Only you’re cool with it? Then sure… slap me
Around a little! Here’s my head on a tee.
I should apologize, my self-deprecating tendencies seem to be kicking in roughly again tonight.
And golly! That last line was long.
I seem to be getting this all wrong.
All I mean to say is that I’d like to kiss your face
But only if you’re cool with it. I’m not one
To take advantage of a girl, or tell her her place.
Trust me, I had a sister who put me in my place
Like A-LOT! Ha! No… no sisters actually. I still know my place.
Just please don’t hit me in the face.
Unless you’d really like to, I guess. Wait, no, that’s weird to say.
Just give me a moment to compose my thoughts and say
What I really want to say to you today, or er, tonight, really.
…I love you. There I said it!
No need to regret it!
Wait, please don’t walk away!
I really do mean what I say!
Jul 3, 2016
Jul 3, 2016 at 2:23 AM UTC