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October Aug 2018
Heartbreak is an inevitable thing.
I knew this. I knew that throughout the course of my early life, I would experience many heartbreaks.
You know, the ones where it wasn’t meant to be. Life designed to have these strategically planned heartbreaks so that you could grow, you could learn.
A pain so real, it is as though the pain is literally reconfiguring your insides as it moves through you; staying just long enough to shape you, but not long enough to become you.
Our hearts like a key getting resized and fitted for the next lock.
Getting so far into the lock before realizing it’s not a match, our heart, getting shaped and sized per each of these attempts. Shaping up until it finds the right lock; the day when your key fits and you know it’s a match – the feeling people refer to as “when you know, you know”.

Is it possible, however, to find your match- the lock that you are finally meant to open, but while turning the key something goes wrong?
What once was a perfect fit, now sits ajar. The answer: I don’t know.
I loved a man.
A perfect fit.
Our love was trusting, it was giving, it was deep, and strong, and passionate.
I loved this man with all of my being;
and he loved me back.

This man is dead.
That’s what breaking up with someone feels like, anyways.
It is as if they are dead.
You will no longer talk with them, share with them, kiss them, hug them, touch them, love them.
They will no longer hold you at night while you sleep.
They will no longer embrace you in the morning, kiss you when you wake.
It is as though they do not exist.
Not to you anyway; or you to them.
st64 Jun 2013
So. You like me as your pastime?
Hmm, please take another look
And see there's a person attached to it
With a full life and dreams, fool!

Being such the ardent lover of liver
She alit the bus and sat square across a damsel
Carrying happy burden; spontaneous loss
And on this day, witness to the leaking full......

Teeming thoughts rage on inside
Sees a man spitting ceaseless into a mug
Spitting, spitting, spitting...!!
Now a china teacup .... is all she'll have.

Frustration climbs the walls like spiders
Leave behind dangling webs of duplicitous ire
Spray its viscous poison everywhere
A smack, an outburst; ugly scene.

Hard to see where it ends, where it starts
Tumultuous energy always kept in check
Surreptitious trafficking in serendipity
Split desires sport with silken threads.

Embracing pain which dominates so
Heartache elemental dogs every move
See you leave, go off alone
Hide high grievance, suffocate.

Seems this loveware needs reconfiguring
Sittin' pretty, like a duck in the water
Ain't the way; keeps the target on yer back
Life's sometimes quite the storm..... in a Chinese teacup!


S T, 03 June 2013
Fancy some java?

:)

My fave is Earl Grey, then camomile, green ....

Tea is a great (meditative) companion, not so.
david badgerow Oct 2011
It was daytime:

I was seperating siamese twins
at the waist
Like a government
trying to quell a rebellion;

I was reconfiguring
scarred old wooden toys
for Santa;
shining scuffed shoes--
pennyloafers with nickels
in the slots.

It was daytime:

I was decapitating
red-haired stepchildren
who had grown
sour from neglect;
removing brilliant succubi attached
to a wholesome family's
soul.

I was snacking on a
nerds rope,
washing babies mouths out
with soap,
slapping pink cheeked
toddlers on their feet.
The caterpillar marches
Munching from leaf to leaf to leaf
He doesn’t know where he’s going
He doesn’t know where he’s been
He only knows the munching
The hunger in his gut
The fire in his belly
Antennae pointing up
Vigilant for predators
Water and leaves
He doesn’t know where he’s going
It matters not where he’s been

The caterpillar weaves
Instinctively without knowing
Why he must, but weaves he does
A cocoon for the growing
The caterpillar digests himself
Dissolving into soup
Becoming a pod of pain and tears
And caterpillar goop
Alone for weeks he suffers
Reconfiguring
His whole body becoming
A new kind of being

No idea what he’s becoming
No idea what’s in store
Suddenly caterpillar emerges
More beautiful than before
Stronger and more delicate
Lighter than the air
Ready for love and lofty height
A sight beautiful and rare
The butterfly does not look back
To the caterpillar he was
The butterfly flies forward
Embracing whatever comes
neko Aug 2013
the space in between

attempting to hold all that exists in that place

we are almost touching

our mouths hover very close

this thing that we are creating

it is forever on our tongues

there is something within you that causes me to just sigh my breath and wonder

my eyelids fall

the air that passes between us is electric and alive even though we believe we are not

fluid and graceful

the universe and all it’s particles are aflame

we are surrounded

the first atoms to spring hot from this small void

whispered us their secret

no one else knows this

only you and i

the big bang in reverse:
illuminating as we grow younger and warmer
agitated
dense
lights flipping on
flashing
going dark
blinking in and out
reconfiguring

cast your rays upon me and help me hold on

the binary stars
orbiting bodies
burning and immense
the first light occurs across the service of your faint complexion,
your golden hair glowing

this is happening now and i swear to you i will not turn away

when the rest of our physical being is washed and withered away this light that once shone upon us will still illuminate

time is here
this has happened

the atomic weight of love
precarious words Jun 2014
4 seasons

summer
drops of salt water found their way into our crevices,
you were my best friend
and we forgot the stars,
instead counting every grain of sand on that beach strand.

when it was time for me to leave,
you sang with the waves as back up vocals,
they would bare their teeth every time you uttered the word 'love.'
it was a protest to age but you and i knew
youth had nothing to do with it.

fall
a subtle color change in the foliage appeared
and as the leaves fall,
they made the music of our matrimony.

it was all good and well
but your failures latched on to me
and god, i was 22-
carrying the burden of a 22 year old and your latest tragedies-

the leaves still turned from lush green
to cinnabar and vermillion and ochre and the more brilliant
they became the closer to death they succumbed
following a paradigm resembling our relationship.

winter
when the snow touches the ground
everything is pure- the cold woke me up.
it woke me up as you held me
pinned down
in your luxurious apartment hallway,
where two weeks before i mistook money for monogamy.

and i've never wished fatality on anyone
but i hope you freeze to death.

spring
i met you in the spring,
and here we are, two springs later.
we are watching one another bloom,
we are the honeysuckles, the poppies,
we are reconfiguring ourselves for a season
of growth and renewel,
of quiet grace and goodness.
Connor Jul 2017
I - Sunrise at Futamiguara/Revealed Intent

The piano on fire/
echoing throats of crystal

Village Mystics resign their title for a quick drowning

(dream)

Wedded-Rocks tide
together while Tsunami rolls in

(Izanagi / Izanami withstand the thrashing)

Japanese Autumn
welcomed as I watch a tinted rose unfold its cloaked chaos

(wherein a panther heeds its calling)

My heart has revealed itself at last


II - Love

bristling zeal/
halycon eyes & Haitian drums
aid the muscles
christening scene-

- bridal dancer pollinates a sleepers teeth in love poems fused with salt

&labor keeps the diaphragm sky
(with pinneedle clouds) afloat

I temper the image tilled with pen/sometimes it doesn't feel enough

(the shadow devours itself)

III - Conservatory of Music/Child Complex

Each gate of heaven its own sound

each device of wrath like doorstep-

-chimes (miracle)

or a whimper dashing through a lake
(vision of pallbearer)

gas heater/
the central puppeteer is dimmed, enjoying his contemplation of the (crafting)
day

999 violet walkup,
I can faintly hear what sounds like a private fountain

   (misguided flamingos bathe here
   and die
     during ***-season
    
   (panting)
  
IV - Joyful Soul/Reconciliation

   Year of water,
  exiting the glassness

which
  once showered me in doubt
  
-remove the cause

... and discarding my obligations
(they have only been actors)

undoing-
where phoenix-mind
owes/
erudite/the staggered
  single conversation between grace & naivety/

Balinese temples smeared in
  urns
(******) ash & brass &

frame of fade (childhood) yearning for bedsheets and harmonica temperature

V - Reminder/Ocean Choir

(tiger tiger burning bright/amplify your helplessly

joyful your motion
the motion of eager
island-seashells
  repeating archaic
     imitations (meditative)

VI - Painterly Woman/Temporary Gladness/Objective in Medium

my family is
sculpted by candles countless candles
(shadow dancer)

-inhaling holidays

I nightmare
     skin emerging from my bedroom wall
the

suggested image written with higher potential imaginative range than the act of looking at a "described" moment on a canvas. As one suggests their own image in writing while as painting assumes its own image for you. The reverse transaction. One cannot author a paintings beauty such as one sculpts the image from ink. Both are as immediately beautiful. Different mediums for different objectives (or rather methods we use to achieve this objective)

VII - Unattainable

Pine drum;winking
fashionable clothmats
copulate for silk and ever purer
silk
ever purer
(silk)))       the child universe

will bleed like
gardenbed

(amen/doldrum/amen(doldrum) amen)

VIII - Spring

Aware (zen taste) - moment evokes a more intense, nostalgic sadness connected with Autumn and the vanishing away of the world

This is the unbinding of words
as my terrific dead lover of disaster
put it-

(Somehow the unforgotten
name remains lavish, after all this reconfiguring, the infertile soil we attempted to escape,
the shade we hid in once like a peacock's coat, somehow the name, your name

remains clean)
Ahmad Cox May 2012
Scripting Love
Writing broken
Reason
Scripting Love
Creating Love
Thats not really there
Manipulating love
Distorting love
Scripting and changing
Altering and reconfiguring
Until the script
Becomes more true
Than the reality
Another adopted metaphor
Onoma Sep 2020
watch whose way

will have it.

a dwarf  squeezing

the juice out of a

mountain.

a bee watching the

mouth of honey

whilst reconfiguring

8.
Left Foot Poet Jul 2020
She,
my cutter,
my body, her cutting board

sliced by tongue and fingernail,
any handy human implement,
she sculpts me to
her eye's reconfiguring delight

she,
grabs my wrist,
and my face
in her hands grasp-embraced

unblemished once,
now becomes all scarred tissued,
no guise, no lies, no bearded mask,
no disguise - all forsaken

hidden hardened skin,
speckled red/white translucent,
she kisses with adoration her
heart designed
objet d'art

no better blade than she,
with every cut,
transformed, she becomes
my devotee,
I, her escapee,
I am her, she is me,
inseparable, my every command,
she obeys

for our love
cuts both ways
nivek Jul 2015
the hum of an engine
idling

I am reminded
each breath out

my mind is reconfiguring
shifting things about

gear is engaged
the engine hum has gone
Beaux Sep 2014
The full force of a blow behind a balled fist.
5 fingers curled together like children of the Depression huddling for warmth.
Weathered skin ripping as atoms burst and disrupt at the powerful touch.
Aries cries out to his child: MORE.
Dividing the air that controls space's pressure and reconfiguring its flow.
Pain has no home in these halls.
Let them echo with my ****** screams from the subconscious.
BREAK IT. BREAK IT. BREAK IT.
TEAR THE HEAVENS DOWN.
SHRED YOUR SANITY.
DISSOLVE YOUR MORALS.
HELL! I COME TO YOUR GATES AND I SAY!!!!!


....I say..
*Relieve me.
Onoma Dec 2019
cabin fever--

snowed out labyrinths

reconfiguring, think:

The Shining.

Santa's trailing laughter.

the orange arms of a

fireplace giving and receiving...

as one cozying up to themself.

with periodic cold drafts breathing

on deeds done.

that which secludes to find...

chestnuts roasting from within, smoke

offerings.
Alex Day Dec 2017
getting you
out of my skin,
my head,
out from underneath
my fingernails
(i’ve bled, god, how i’ve bled)
has taken some Digging,
some maneuvering
it’s taken (un)learning
reconfiguring
of all the molecules in me
see, i’ve always thought we were
one in the same.
your soul connected to mine,

our beings intertwined
having come from the same star
or galaxy
i’ve always thought we were written
in the moon,

our love destined
to be told through
to the end
by the tides

(you wore over me for
billions of years,
turning my hardness into
crumbling sand,
weaving canyons into my
rock)


but only in losing you did i finally realize,
even souls created together,
seemingly brought together by the fate of
their common roots,
can be destined to grow apart
JaxSpade Nov 2019
¬ °
I'm a ghost
Afraid of my own shadow

I see alive people
And they look so hollow

When you look into their mind
You could see the other side
Follow

^
·And the fire in their eyes·
^

I'm a shadow
Afraid of my own silhouette

I see dancing on the walls
At end of a candles wick

The frightening flickering
Leaves me shivering


¬°
I'm an anomaly
Afraid of my own entity
¬°


Reconfiguring
JP Goss Sep 2019
I wake up to a ring over the sky every morning;
It is not the brilliant sun or a mesmerizing whirl
Of migrating birds, it is not a halo of clouds
Ensconcing the world as a crown Domini of Alterity—
It is, of course, encircling entrapment
Of a very peculiar and particular happiness
Claiming to be what makes life worth living
And the worth of living life, the price of only being—
Westerly blackness confuses my perspective
Since the eye’s machine does not, as it is purported
To do, give us sober access to the world—
It inverts the world. So, I am looking at the abyss above
Ignoring the clouds ground below—
Human is that abyss, fantasy the ground,
The mind’s I is the flimsy bridge
Round bright screens closely wound
Reconfiguring, transposing orientation
So as to make sense of it all.
Strangers, the Other, my walking iteration
Wearing companion mask in a one-man show
With lipstick drawn hastily in the prettiest places—
I, too, want to be pretty
Yet, it’s sand through these hourglass hands
Shadowing through terrifying refractions of light
That, slow to form, would not provide comfort
Were I too see them directly, anyway.
Made lethargic by composition,
Despite the sprites accompanying,
We look for crystalline hands, or some kind of disturbance
To give us what to grasp for
Something to cling to.
The ring, the annular prison, provides what purchase
Needed, but it does not release it hands
Without bearing its claws.
I
just fukin love it
when loyalty is just a cross they add to the card and no matter how hard you work they want more, when hope is a word to be bandied about  by the bandits within

when you don't fit in but they won't throw you out
sometimes I doubt my own sanity.

Please hold
I'm reconfiguring
before they get more digs in,
I feel
so sick I could be pregnant!

but they'd want confirmation.
hence yours truly (me)
seeks mental health services
without any luck
even after reading Scripture
from my namesake who exuded pluck
after paging thru
the AETNA Medicare directory,
whether a group practice or individual,
I expended energy and precious time today
June sixth two thousand and twenty four

hoping to get linkedin and truck
with a suitable therapist,
cuz various and sundry issues
such as chronic anxiety, dysthymia,
obsessive compulsive disorder,
and panic attacks plagues
sexagenarian old body electric
matter of fact mein kampf
and hard times reducible
to four letter description
conveyed by the word yuck.

Exhaustion prevails courtesy emotional distress
self evident to any anonymous reader
predicated on morose poetry of mine
invariably discouraging positive ambitions
for friendship receiving,
yet I experienced
unexpected welcome response
from over the hills and far away
where Teletubbies come to play with me,
whose fealty being a ***** buddy
gratitude sexagenarian does express
and so what if three score
plus five year old does regress.

Once upon a time
more than half century ago,
in a faraway galaxy
this second born and singular son
of Harriet and Boyce Harris
(mother and father since passed away
May third two thousand and fifteen,
and October seventh
two thousand and twenty respectively) though
both parents during their lifetime
beset with impossible mission
to administer to my psychological woe
and actually unwittingly exacerbated

dysfunctional behavior of mine
exhibited, jump/kick started,
and witnessed videre licet
courtesy their verbal
browbeating with ultimatums
aghast at irregular impulsive decisions
to attend this, that or another institution
of higher learning
post high school graduation
psyche subjected to actions experienced
being whipped back and forth,
to and fro, hither and yon
analogous to ma yo-yo.

Scads of irrational thought processes
bombard nooks and crannies
within me swiftly tailored
harried styled noggin
sense and sensibility
doth create veritable boondoggle
stumping psychological masterminds
even Sigmund Freud himself if alive
would be mystified and ask ghost writer
of Mary Shelley to craft sequel,

where Doctor Victor Frankenstein
rids trademark neurosis of mine
shape shifting Matthew Scott Harris'
witnessed when whirled
wide web of electrodes
activated courtesy toggle
subsequently flash brilliant lightning bolts
in tandem with deafening booming thunder
reconfiguring bitta bing bitta
chitty chitty bang bang switch  

rendering corporeal cerebral flesh
truly significantly reconstituting
dogma, enigma variations, karma,
and persona of aforementioned
poet of Perkiomen Valley into altered state,
whose psychological state now mimics,
dovetails, and approximates
that of Neanderthal man
forever linkedin to seventh heaven.
Phil Feb 2021
August 2 2016. Just another day. Just another call. No warnings to slow or stop.
So from where did they come? Those terrifying demons. That lit my body from ‘toe to top’?
Surging waves of burning. They set the firestorm in my head...
For thirty-six hours those demons raged. Left me breathing but mentally wrecked.

Now thirty-six months of chemical intervention.
No medical breakthroughs. Just my self reinventions.
Mental confusion. Emotionally fragile. Sleep; Avoid the pain.
Adapt and manage. Rebuild my life. Learn how to ‘dance in the rain’.
The difficulty of being damaged on the inside? From the outside there’s no sign.
But the anxiety within. Brings panic and failure. Messing-up, time after time.

Question follows question. Tell me again. And again. What’s your problem with mental health?
Well sorry, not sorry, that I can’t explain to You, what I don’t understand myself.
Close friends. Family that matter. My wife (my strength), who still loves me the same.
They don’t push for answers. They’re there to support me. Over and over again...

The demons drew me down. But it was ‘Them’ who near erased me.
But dug too shallow a grave. To lay me out. Cover Their own inefficiency.
Twenty-eight years then. Counting for nothing. I’m a problem. Forget any history.
Legal assistance. My own fading strength. We fought Them all the way. A small yet decisive victory.

Down but not out. To go again. But with much less mental agility
A whole new experience. Out on my own. Looking for help through the instability.
“You’re gone, retired, no contact now”. A freedom in being cut loose.
But the ‘right to review’ is scribed in terms. Seems I still can’t slip the noose.

Twitter. A crutch. Succinct & concise. Has truly unearthed some gems.
Drawbridge up. Safe. In my own little bubble. Content with my ‘virtual friends’.
These props online. Or from the bottom of an ever-emptying glass.
Both support me fine, & help. Yet aren’t prescriptions, written to last.

To fall to This was never an option. Yet still I’m here ‘giving it time...’
Finding a way to cope again. Reconfiguring heart & mind.
So yes, still mentally challenged. Still emotionally fragile. Still sleeping; Avoiding the pain.
Still adapting. Still rebuilding my life. Still learning to ‘dance in the rain’.
But I’m clawing back. To ‘live’ again. Not just exist, seeing out ‘day-to-day’.
My mantra: “To live - and not to breathe - would be to die in tragedy”
nivek Feb 23
walking within the hullabaloo
numbs the senses
scrambles minds
disconnects hearts

a quiet place beyond all noise
regeneration of deep silence
reconfiguring of priorities
the healing of reunification
LannaEvolved Jan 2021
It is kind of esoteric to look at yourself as the mirror of what was your past
what is and what will be.

Just like your transformation
You are in motion, organic form, occupying time and reconfiguring the shape of your molecules into something your intuition always knew was in you
to become.  

As I explore these waters, I am learning  how to balance humility with edge and strong mindedness.
I will send you my play to read later today.
Commuter Poet Apr 2020
Dark
Silent
Still

Origin
Of
Thought

You echo
Like vast
Empty caves
Laden
With electricity

You wait for trains
To pass through
Your tunnels

Carrying messages
Parcels of information
Which when unpacked
Uproot the tracks
And twist them
Into new shapes
Reconfiguring
The great map
Of existence

Shaped by inner
And outer
Forces

You are
Unique
In your existence

Separate
From all other dimensions
20th April 2020

— The End —