People plan to partake in 
pondering this painful piece
of the Ponderer's ponderings.

These pathetic pain filled people
presume that
pondering the Ponderer's ponderings
is perfectly practical in practically every peaceful way.

But presently,
the Ponderer's particularly pondering ponderings
are perniciously precarious in every perilous way.

Thus, to ponder the Ponderer's pondering ponderings
is not particularly practical,
but instead pertain
to perniciously painful parts of precarious nature

neither very social
nor I'm vocal
silent screamer
a lonely dreamer
neither a mood swing
nor in a bing
don't mind
if you don't find
as I'm in my cocoon
may be back soon
but for a while
let me hibernate in my style

not a saint
just complacent
ridicule not, I'm not a clown
on a journey unknown.... my own
deep ponderer
solo wanderer
not a wayward
just traveling inward
judge me not O dear!
for you I'm there
but let me be insignificant
an abstinent.....

What are these bands around your wrists
These frayed stories that barely cling?
And what are these enchantments held
That cradle your touch between each ring?
And what is this ancient writing here
That’s inked from shops of yester-year?
Is there a relic about you yet
That makes your brackish past run clear?

What is that place your eye seeks out
When your steady gaze is aether-bound?
And what steep truths have you traversed
To gather poise as you have found?
What shadows passing now have stayed
And fears upon tanned shoulder weighed?
Can mysteries be unraveled here
That in your piercing focus played?

Oh wandering mystery mountain man,
Oh sweet conundrum of my dreams,
Oh distant altruistic love,
Oh ponderer of whispering streams,
Wherefore do the stars yet speak
So I can hear their secret calls,
But ever in their praises keep
Your hidden name in cosmic halls?
Yes, to my ears they murmur deep
The stain-ed truths of earth and sky
But never leaks that hopeful peep;
Verisimilitude is shy.

Forever my enigma: you.
The heavens sagely made it so.
For I have solved the their secrets through,
But so much in you left to know.

He wandered amongst the midday twilight peak;
In his window glared a formative feline,
I was once lost in it,
But then recommended a fine smile to my deliberated agenda,
Oh how the world inquires beyond thee,
Like a nimble breeze amongst a flame,
Upon a strained vigil sanity keep,
Upon my own reflection revelation came.

Somtimes I ponder on the thought of what could have been
On how different things would be
On how you out of all people, you have always placed a smile on my face
I ponder on what could have been
I ponder on the differences
I ponder on the future that could have been happening
I ponder on the now that would have changed our lives but the things I ponder on didnt happen
The differences are different
The future is already arranged for something else
The now is already happening
But the one thing that remains always is the smile that you placed on my face
My love
The thing that keeps me going sometimes are the silly things you would say
The funny things you would do
The changes you have made.
See you are unique
You are a one of a kind
Your mind is expanding in ways I would have never imagined
Your heart beats more peaceful and calmer than ever
You have changed in a way that makes me see you as a better and extraordinary person
See you have changed but also have changed my feelings for you
You have changed my way of thinking in a way
You have impacted my life to a level where
I feel like the sun itself hugs me
The moon says hello
The stars brighten up my night
The clouds give me that extra push
See you have done all of this by just placing that one smile on my face
So thank you for everything
Thank you.
A million times, thank you.
You truely are someone in which I wouldnt mind to ponder on.

I am a plane traveling at night
I am the night that takes flight
I am a wanderer
And a ponderer
I am a collector
And a selector
I am a part of society
The part that adds variety
I am an independent artist
So I don't have to be the smartest
Because I'm just having fun
And poetry is the pun

(I tried to write letters but the words got stuck)

Milady all in white,
with sparking eyes and shaky foundations
the world is too big for your icy hands
reaching out for her smile like you were fire
and she was rain, heaven sent
you see ashes where there’s mist
wings splintering from your bones
and I pray that you find freedom
without leaving me

My fairy who dreams of Neverland,
with leaves in tangled hair
eyes crinkled with smiling
you are so very powerful
I fear you would rather consume yourself
than let go of her at last
and from all the things you don’t tell me
I begin to hate the world a little more

My pixie with straight curls,
I was in love with you for the longest time
but I know both myself and you better now
and I will always stand beside you
your  beauty is in your imperfections
drawing the best sort of people in
you’ve saved me a thousand times
and I've missed you more than I can say

My quiet one with a smile of steel,
you are so kind without saying a world
he leans so much that I’m afraid you will fall
and still have to pick him up again
I only hope you know your worth
I only hope that you’ll let us catch you
you are a beautiful human being
and you mean the universe to me

Milady with a bow-tie,  
your mind is a brilliant, vibrant thing
as are your eyes and smile and laughter
you are a warrior and a scholar
a charmer, a singer, and a lover
you've made me feel loved and wanted
without hesitance of any kind
and it is the best gift I have ever been given
so thank you for slow dancing to an off-beat piano
I'll always love for you to lead

Milady of dragon's fire,
you are fiercer than your flames
and stronger than them as well
you are learning and beginning
and I can only watch in awe
I believe in every part of you
in your beauty and your strength
so thank you for not taking ****
and may the world quit giving **** to you

Milady of the angels,
you have the brightest soul I've ever seen
and a mithril backbone to match
thank you for helping me be myself again
for shining brightly and staying with me
you deserve all the best the world can give
for your beauty and grace and laughter
I would give my soul to see you smiling always

My lady of the wiccan elves,
you are the loveliest being that I know
both in body and in spirit
I'm sorry that I did not tell you so
I'm a bit of a coward that way
you are a thousand miles out of my league
but I will always marvel at your crooked grin
and the way your mind runs circles 'round all others

Milady the endless ponderer,
I am not half the friend I should be
your thoughts are beautiful, have always been
and it lights my heart to hear your confidence
I will always listen and try to understand
though I am not always as there as I should be
and for that I am truly sorry
I know that for the philosopher
it is the greatest punishment to be unheard
you deserve the best of listeners

My quiet greek goddess,
you somehow thought I was worth staying for
I would have kissed you given the chance
but we all know how I am about that sort of thing
you made me feel at home again
when I felt like I wasn't worth existing
thank you, for everything
I'm sorry I wasn't the right one

My legend in royal hues,
for some reason you picked me to love
(you can't imagine my bewilderment)
thank you, for all you've given me
for all you've let me show you
and for your smile that reminds me of home
I hope you find what you're looking for
without falling to ******* your way


Milady of the summer court,
all wide eyes and lovely braids
you made me feel wanted and infinitely happy
but I will never be enough for you
may your mind always wander into beauty
and may you someday learn the workings of souls
come back and tell me when you do
I will always love to hear your voice

Milady of love and loss,
I hope your list helps organize your mind
you deserve the best of happiness
but I fear you'll look towards the wrong eyes
I'm going to miss you dearly
but I know you'll find your own way
you don't need me much at all
but you make me smile when I'm beside you
so don't you ever lose that light
you'll find one to match it someday

Milady the beautiful and free,
you are fiercely kind and lovely
I look up to you more than I can say
in your strength and in your thoughts
thank you for your words
for your smile and your love
you brought me back from myself
and I will always be grateful
may everyone marvel at your existence
and at how far you've come
it is, after all
the very least of what you deserve

They told me to keep swimming, but the sea is getting rough
I just don't think that this life will ever be enough
For a lonely misfit, a homesick wanderer
But there's no place for this lost ponderer
My arms are becoming tired, I'd like to just float
Let the smooth sand cover my body and my breathing will slow
Choking on salt water never tasted so sweet
Don't look down, the darkness swept away your feet
They told me not to give in
But my body feels so weak
The ocean floor is where you'll find me
Ninety feet deep.

Awake. feeling chest pain. Is it my valve?  It's nearly a quarter century old.  How long do these things last? Titanium, strong, will outlive me, but what about the flesh it's anchored to? Pain is an indicator.  What's wrong?

I tick like a clock as it opens and closes, hearing  each time it skips a beat.  Doctors said it looked real good, but eight months ago, not now.

I have two diseases with the same initials.  Shouldn't there be a rule against that?  Multiple Sclerosis and Marfan Syndrome.  What an awkward pair.  

Overlapping symptoms complicating treatment.  You think they'd give me a two for one discount?

When my hand passes along your breast
—Your swooning tremors translated—
Done and quiet and motionless
Our appetites full and sated.
Nothing, no passion beats
Nor does heart sing of a bond
Mere means to untied ends
Cursed, that, to never go beyond.
Laying there, as you quake with delight
No feelings that burst
Try as I might
But, jewelry feigned and worn so prettily
Though you are not the first.
Wander oh, Wanderer
Through fields of cut-and-dry
And ponder oh, Ponderer
What it means, her and I.
Feelings professed in autumnal halls’ rain
True Heart’s contents gifted
Turned bed-pleasures again.
Is this then Love?
My mattress stained?
Is this then Love?
To entreat desires again?
My tongues are sincere, motivating that art
Painted with blood
Strained right from my heart.
But, perhaps, mine is a bad art
So prudish, so straight
Where her brushstrokes are cherished
Not the brilliance of her paint
Perhaps, then, I’m chasing
Pure metaphor
To find Love and love
Is what Lust is for,
So, then I lay empty
With misty dreams and starry eyes
My loving hands not deferred
But outright denied.
How can we, in what sense,
In Love’s definition confide?
To prove it’s only a metaphor:
Not literally applied.

All yearling spring birds far from distant home,
Xanthic in Gothic gospels soot and yolk,
Where's one's soft spoken voice to calm me on the phone?
Formidable pulses,
The danger of convulsion's spread on like buttered oil!!!
Enormity soil's the defendant delirium...
Such agnostic aquariums stinkingly similar upstate!
Broken lives to sunset drive,
Specimen speckles,
Forcible tassels hover one's decree!!
Litigious locust's buzz creepingly,
Indecently exposing all's funk!!!
Concauctions of fake adoption's,
Concievers break locks off trunks!!!
Omit me out of this obdurate oasis,
Wherein one feel's spacious,
Free to cometh and goeth!!!
Freedom doth thou know?
Operatic Mrs and Mr's,
Minuets for thy ridiculed wishes!!
Ponderer of newness,
Cleaner's as thy tub spills over,
Thy heels click together just to get thy kicks!!!
Hit the streets thou feathered bird of no beak,
Thou tally marker of no means!!!
Foreman to thy own people's idea's,
Nourish me with a new novice,
Nurture me with heartbrake hotel,
Buildeth me a standing ovation of a one love palace!!!
Brave heart fairytale,
Doth thou stand to move about?

Listener of radio tunes,
Art thou close??


©Brandon nagley
©Lonesome poet's poetry

Ponderer of belief
Wondering what you think
Evade realism as an elusive being
Preposterous pervert brought forth from protrusive realms
Fostering impostors within thine self

Coaxed,
Stoaked,
Citer of circumspect alley ways,
Ponderer of all circumference!!!

A lost shadow to a drawn out stage!!

Incurable nausea plants itself beneathe thine nose,
Beneathe thy finest thine Rose!!!

Thou fallen cut down trunk,
Thou Intel gatherer of recordings of political junk!!!

Thy mafiatic hardened heart's department hath closed for many seasons,
For many reasons thou art down and out again!!!

Old adversary,
Oldened friend!!!!

Undergraduate of no sporty coup'e,
No tripped up loop to sway thine interfacial structure!!!
No loving, all clutter, you inhale as you breathe,

Thou daytime innocent,
Thou nightly thief!!!!

All yearling spring birds far from distant home,
Xanthic in Gothic gospels soot and yolk,
Where's one's soft spoken voice to calm me on the phone?
Formidable pulses,
The danger of convulsion's spread on like buttered oil!!!
Enormity soil's the defendant delirium...
Such agnostic aquariums stinkingly similar upstate!
Broken lives to sunset drive,
Specimen speckles,
Forcible tassels hover one's decree!!
Litigious locust's buzz creepingly,
Indecently exposing all's funk!!!
Concauctions of fake adoption's,
Concievers break locks off trunks!!!
Omit me out of this obdurate oasis,
Wherein one feel's spacious,
Free to cometh and goeth!!!
Freedom doth thou know?
Operatic Mrs and Mr's,
Minuets for thy ridiculed wishes!!
Ponderer of newness,
Cleaner's as thy tub spills over,
Thy heels click together just to get thy kicks!!!
Hit the streets thou feathered bird of no beak,
Thou tally marker of no means!!!
Foreman to thy own people's idea's,
Nourish me with a new novice,
Nurture me with heartbrake hotel,
Buildeth me a standing ovation of a one love palace!!!
Brave heart fairytale,
Doth thou stand to move about?

Listener of radio tunes,
Art thou close??

how many faces have passed by
i can not count

what each face's life was like
i cannot tell

but i can imagine

what a privilege to be amongst so many
intricate lives

but they don't see me
or remember me

but that is perfect
i like it that way

not about me

im a bench sitter
a face rememberer
a open eyer
life ponderer

a people watcher

I’m a  twentieth century baby,
  and a twenty first century man;
  Preceded by the definite maybe’s
  of a fickle generations attention span:

"**** the alarmist. Dissect the murderer.  
Round up the lost lot. Ground the ponderer.
For we are the witless wanderers”

We are born out of confusion and into anxiety,  
we swallow up old decades for a pastime;
they're digestible bytes to the digital society,
and their ideals oft’ so easy to mime.  

But we’re witless in our meter-less rhyme.

Wherefore art my purpose in life
I'm filled with passion, love, and fight
Bursting with spirit until I'm overcome
By social anxiety and a long line at the grocery store

I want to be good but I'm without determination
I've been taught leadership, sure
And I don't want to be a follower
But do I want to make others into followers?

Is it possible to do good and not be a hypocrite
To organize people for a purpose
Without taking advantage of them
Without rewarding their efforts fairly?

Verily I remain a thinker, a ponderer
And regrettably not a man of action
It must be a moral quandary that keeps me at home
Because I could never admit that it's only fear of failure

Coaxed,
Stoaked,
Citer of circumspect alley ways,
Ponderer of all circumference!!!

A lost shadow to a drawn out stage!!

Incurable nausea plants itself beneathe thine nose,
Beneathe thy finest thine Rose!!!

Thou fallen cut down trunk,
Thou Intel gatherer of recordings of political junk!!!

Thy mafiatic hardened heart's department hath closed for many seasons,
For many reasons thou art down and out again!!!

Old adversary,
Oldened friend!!!!

Undergraduate of no sporty coup'e,
No tripped up loop to sway thine interfacial structure!!!
No loving, all clutter, you inhale as you breathe,

Thou daytime innocent,
Thou nightly thief!!!!

In a crowded place
Teeming with heads.
You find me in a corner
Buried in my own thoughts.
You find me weird
Not the one amongst you
Not a word
Do you get from me.
You give me names
You ignore me
While I only stare at the frames.
I am not dumb
I am not a wallflower.
I am just lost
Like the religious in a prayer.
I'm a doodler
Who has no word to express
A ponderer
Whose voice suppresses.
A doodler who vents his anger
On his living images
A thinker who lives and dies
Everyday in his sketches
I'm a doodler
In a world sunk in loudness.
Unheard, unnoticed
I live in my images.

Writers
Writers write (duh)
There is verbal form of any language and a physical form of any language, and writing is the physical form of any given language.
And in some ways, writing is extremely beneficial to society. It expands vocabulary and ability to process things, it makes a better form of passing on things and keeping things as permanent as possible.
But, sometimes, writing is horrible, and even language in and of itself can horrible at times.
When one loves another, words, eventually, don't suffice to describe the overwhelming flood of emotion you have towards the other person.
In this age of technology and talking over it, texting or calling or face-calling, words sometimes do not suffice, those three words said all the time, over and over again.
Sometimes it’s a deep, passionate kiss on the lips. Sometimes a small peck to the tip of one’s nose. Sometimes a slow, gentle kiss to a forehead. Sometimes a small squeeze of the arms when cuddling. Sometimes a nuzzle to a neck or cheek.
To truly be a writer, one must submit to the fact that there can simply be no words. And it’s okay, it’s fine to not have the right words sometimes.
If anything, it can make your writing a little better.
So, go for it. Be wordless. Be in awe and blown away.
Be a ponderer. Because, in the end, that’s what all us writers are.
Ponderers, who attempt to describe their observances.
:;,

I look into your eyes your heart inside of mine my hands around your hands and my mind full of demands this was never planned but now my love expands and it will never shrink, I sink into this feeling my mind and body reeling my ego’s layers are peeling and when I expose the core my spirit soars my love implores that I connect, I reach for your hand and in that moment your smile lands, my candle flares and I beware for just a sec before I reset it, I cannot regret it, love is love when you rise above these illusory constraints, painted over by love’s complaints I escape this social prison and experience perfect clarity of vision, nuclear fission, but not division, neon fusion, no confusion there was no one using just transfusing sharing vibes of peace and love, rose and dove, we fly in unison and our communion is for two and I will not forget you, my flame will e’er burn and from this place I’ll e’er yearn and you may say I never learn but I know about a moment of connection, there is no question that I have found the answer, I am a dancer, a lover, a poet, a wanderer, a ponderer, a lonely transponder so I will never squander something as precious as this. It is this moment I will miss. It is your lips I want to kiss. It is real inside our minds and that is fine with me, so thank you for reality, thank you for my sanity, and for restoring my humanity.

I am a floating flower,
Among the tallest tree.
My petals,
They fall once plucked from me.
My pollen
Decreases once ****** by bees.
My roots
Decay once ripped from leaves.
I am fragile,
Born from the smallest of seed.
Grown and sewn,
To the purest beauty.

But wanderer and ponderer,
Please let me be.

A systemic epidemic amid the pandemic
Shots off at capitol hill and alls a panic
Forensics takes money from the shooter
Proclaims the victim to be a looter

Throw lives away like trash on the block
Take poor lives at their sides a Glock
Stocks soar, Deaths soar, **** just our luck
**** on tour at mast is the patriots ****

Peace an option until they grabbed their piece
Take the lease call your tab a life will cease
Six six six its the nature of the beast
Money, greed, and avarice

All they want is every slice of prosperity
They flaunt a salary a workless propriety
Makers, producers, and workers in poverty
Still, they will rule with iron sovereignty  

This goes on for four more I'm going on a tour
Camp on a grassy knoll taking shots of Cuervo
Not enough to throw off my aim though
My contribution is to the body flow

That's just how war goes, no justice no peace
Just taking justice away with a piece
When I feel a debt is to me I pull the lease
And I feel what is owed to me is some peace

That'll never happen till all my friends can eat
I may die in a miserable cell in complete defeat
At least my skin won't be fleece won't be meat
For wolves to eat I'll be a man crushed underfeet

Funny we still fight confederate beliefs
More like fight the degenerate beliefs
Of the weak and the meek thieves
Stealing rights and lives for conceit

Liberty or death is the creed of our founders
Yet when liberty is stolen everyone just flounders
Death is the only retort to fascist panderers
Tired of all this fake comfort as a ponderer

The answer soon to be immutable one last stopper
That can permute this course as the only offer
An election of a conqueror or a molester
Choice between a beast and death or a monster

One mimics ein fuhrer  the other will fester
So whats best here civil war or uncle Chester
Months until the toll bell calls on her electors
To choose hell or tepid **** to quell the defectors

To those who ponder,

Tell me, is it for your own satisfaction?
Unraveling a neverending clip of thoughts and processing,
Revealing the clarity and full picture of a puzzle never-ceasing?
Or are you simply pretentious?

Locked behind this image,
Playing Solomon; I only wave my tongue to those I deem "deep",
Is this how you pay your attention?
Or do you simply catch on to those YOU relate to?

Sometimes it's easier to tell who is more deserving and who you would rather lend your voice to.

You see, I am not a poet. I don't consider myself such. I am a ponderer who expresses myself best through text, somehow.

So, to those who ponder,

What is your intention?
Do you care to mention?