You can't just write a poem,
With no meaning behind its lines.
It can be about your happiness,
Or what goes on during your troubled times.

I personally can't write about a tree,
Without there being a story.
Such as me climbing up one,
Or an animal that lives in the tree.

A poem is nothing without morales,
And that is how it is.
There always must be meaning,
And I don't mean this as a dis.

Roselva says the only thing that doesn't change  
is train tracks. She's sure of it.
The train changes, or the weeds that grow up spidery  
by the side, but not the tracks.
I've watched one for three years, she says,
and it doesn't curve, doesn't break, doesn't grow.


Peter isn't sure. He saw an abandoned track
near Sabinas, Mexico, and says a track without a train  
is a changed track. The metal wasn't shiny anymore.  
The wood was split and some of the ties were gone.


Every Tuesday on Morales Street
butchers crack the necks of a hundred hens.  
The widow in the tilted house
spices her soup with cinnamon.
Ask her what doesn't change.


Stars explode.
The rose curls up as if there is fire in the petals.  
The cat who knew me is buried under the bush.


The train whistle still wails its ancient sound  
but when it goes away, shrinking back
from the walls of the brain,
it takes something different with it every time.

A little bird tried to fly through the screen door and I thought, 'if only there were more air up here'.

The view from the second story deck encompassed miles of low scrub hills, piñon, and was daily growing less hazy as the fires subsided. The little bird was dead. Was not even twitching or rolling or whatever idiot birds do to fight or hold onto life. Or maybe it was unconscious. If it was a head impact, it could just be out cold. I could take it in for a bit, see if it revives. But the brains of birds are very small... maybe not large enough to switch out of consciousness without damaging the whole system. It could wake up brain damaged: amnesic, whistling gibberish, unable to collaborate or co-worm-locate or sit on eggs or whatever other higher functions birds perform. Angry, all the time. Likely a burden and a danger to the community. Condemned to either death or a life of lonely suffering. I'd rather not be culpable for that.

Prospective buyers are arriving at four, the realtor as well, for a tour, so I grabbed a broom and swept the quiet body into the shaggy juniper that surrounded the house. Swept up with maple leaves that had settled on the porch since this time yesterday, together a mass of decomposing matter, under the railing and into the dark.

I'd spent a lot of time alone in the house on Grand. Watched nature slowly creep through the iron fence and into the faux-pond, up under the patio bricks, purple flowered and needley plants growing taller and more hostile daily. Increasing numbers of little brown birds mistaking the reflected sunset in the plate glass doors for real sky.

"If only there were more air up here." A little joke I repeat out loud while sweeping broken bodies into shrubs. The thickest places, where they wouldn’t be seen when (if) someone ever dropped by to view the house.


I don't live here, the house is soon to be foreclosed. But a friend of mine knew I needed a place to stay and offered this, his third home, empty of everything except a coffee maker, some landscaping tools, a few boxes that had yet to be moved. I have a twin sized mattress in what must have been a child's room: a strip of Denver Broncos wallpaper runs the circumference, every other surface painted complimentary blue.


The couple arrived at five. She wears a salmon coloured shawl over a white blouse. They’re performing the theatric act of young couples in love (with the idea of a larger house): she ecstatic over the seven jets in the master Jacuzzi tub, he hesitant about the people-paths in the wall-to-wall-carpet, the everpresent pastels we know were once in vogue but will take weeks and at least two layers of base to fully eradicate. It’s the realtor’s job to showcase the place but I often stand outside the plate glass windows of the living room, keeping an eye. Playing the role of groundskeeper because hitchhiker is so much less glorious.

So far it’s been the same. Always she with a genuine smile that will be gone forty minutes after she’s left the driveway. He, always in t-shirt and “trying to be casual” jacket calculating the square footage of each room, the viability of the fireplace. Opening cabinets, but not concerned with storage space. He wants to see if the brass hinges really have brass pins. Is it wood, linoleum? Look closely at his eyes and watch them dance across a virtual blackboard, adding up the gallons of primer and paint needed to cover up the colour mistakes of a before-his-decade.

  2

You can almost watch his eyes dart across the blackboard. A house is a house but the home must be shredded, burned, before making it yours.


But they all do this. A dozen or so now, this summer. And I spend a lot of time alone. Injecting my thoughts into people who think they know what they need next, before getting in a small car and checking out a properly closer to town. Making little jokes to myself as I sweep the porch. The isolation even maybe altering small parts of my self. The social parts, perhaps. I feel good, most days, but find myself repeating the same phrases: “****. Shower. Shave”, “If only there were more air up here.”, “I could learn to love a leopard”, even recently a little Old Testament, which like a ******* I’ve been taking to bed with increasing frequency and a growing selfish guilt, repeating,

“As the sun was setting, Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a thick and dreadful darkness came over him.”


They won’t be back, but for the first time now there’s a deer in the yard. Meaning there must be a hole in the fence. A doe, and fawn too, and I can sit and stare with my broom in hand because my job is to sweep the deck. Dead birds and maybe rats, leaves of course, but with all the water the bank is wasting on this waste of a lawn, come deer: come all ye deer, come and eat. Maybe you will even eat the frighteningly thistly things. Regardless, in exchange for this room I was given a broom and deer are far too large to sweep.



When my student visa expired in Canada I left the country with no identification, five Canadian dollars, a five litre backpack mostly occupied by a camera, and in my mind some distillation of the romanticism from On The Road that I’d managed to power-read in a Heathrow bookstore four years before (lacking the pounds to actually purchase the book). I crossed the border via ferry, and entered the country without identification. I thought this was impossible but it turns out that when you have no time but your whole future ahead of you, and nowhere to get to anyway, insisting “I am a U.S. citizen and you need to let me into this country” does in fact work, if you repeat it enough, and are willing to wait. In my case border patrol even gave me a twenty note and a pat on the back before sending me on my way.


How I ended up sitting on the floor watching birds die, backlit by a desert sunset, in the mountains of New Mexico, is a long story, and to be honest the details have largely escaped me. I do remember I was reading Hemingway. “The Innocents Abroad”, and trying to find myself in any character I could lay my hand on. The word “Innocent” in the title, I suppose, far moreso any actual character, struck the most.


It’s the middle of The Great Recession. Or The Great Depression. The Great Compression. I can’t remember any longer which economic period this particular episode occupied (why can’t they name them more sensibly, like hurricanes?) Call it, then, The Great Introspection, as I narrated myself through the dozen rooms of a million-dollar house: the material self still alive and thriving inside in a self-congratulatory spiral over the personal ROI that left Canada on five dollars and put me, rent free, in a home worth that multiplied 200,000 times. The home where I first had my own key. The home where I learned to drink a glass of water before my morning coffee.

(Five years and $98,000 in college expenses later that was, easily, the best advice I’ve ever received.)


Eventually the phone was disconnected, the water, the power. The jacuzzi, though dry, was still a good place to lie and read. And the piñon and snakes, cacti and juniper, then inklings of pine trees came in steadily. When you would look at them they would freeze. But every morning something new was growing, some new pink flower popped up promisingly to crack the mortar in front of the door. Sweetly at first, then growing thorns, and I walking the perimeters saying “if only there were more air out here”, saying, “can not feel her anymore”, as if the decadent madness of the lawn could be silenced by speaking out loud. Trying to walk the edge of the fence, increasingly losing it in the encroaching bush, then resigning myself to the living room, the **** carpet flattening into a forest path while I impressed miles into that offensive floor.



words. seeds. thistles. marvin morales.


Sleeping on that filthy mattress, the Denver Broncos looking down, still optimistic about their upcoming trophy, or cup. Whatever it was that a bunch of cartoon horses could win. But the sweeping gave me solace, even though the growing thistles made the bricks uneven and caught in the bristles of the broom, leaving little shards of transplanted pink flowers emedded in the yellow polyethylene. I loathed them, but looking back I can see I played straight into their plan. Transplanting little seeds to new weak places in the cement, where they could grow tall again and **** up what little good was left of the land. Bring deer to eat them. Bring little idiot birds to pick the seeds out of the faeces, recycling with pure intent, and flying off into the bright light of sunset. Then crashing broken to the floor.

And like the lawn, like the porch, like what happens when you read Twain, something in me changed. “If only there were more air”, yes, but there is never enough air. Piling up among the deer, among the doe, among my now all-consuming pacing and talking to ghosts who don’t live here anymore, among the many birds who ate their worms and went on to hatch a dozen more, flew into a plate glass sunset, and were ignored.

Spanish

    –Eros: acaso no sentiste nunca
Piedad de las estatuas?
Se dirían crisálidas de piedra
De yo no sé qué formidable raza
En una eterna espera inenarrable.
Los cráteres dormidos de sus bocas
Dan la ceniza negra del Silencio,
Mana de las columnas de sus hombros
La mortaja copiosa de la Calma
Y fluye de sus órbitas la noche;
Victimas del Futuro o del Misterio,
En capullos terribles y magníficos
Esperan a la Vida o a la Muerte.
Eros: acaso no sentiste nunca
Piedad de las estatuas?–
    Piedad para las vidas
Que no doran a fuego tus bonanzas
Ni riegan o desgajan tus tormentas;
Piedad para los cuerpos revestidos
Del armiño solemne de la Calma,
Y las frentes en luz que sobrellevan
Grandes lirios marmóreos de pureza,
Pesados y glaciales como témpanos;
Piedad para las manos enguantadas
De hielo, que no arrancan
Los frutos deleitosos de la Carne
Ni las flores fantásticas del alma;
Piedad para los ojos que aletean
Espirituales párpados:
Escamas de misterio,
Negros telones de visiones rosas…
Nunca ven nada por mirar tan lejos!
    Piedad para las pulcras cabelleras
–Misticas aureolas–
Peinadas como lagos
Que nunca airea el abanico *****,
***** y enorme de la tempestad;
Piedad para los ínclitos espiritus
Tallados en diamante,
Altos, claros, extáticos
Pararrayos de cúpulas morales;
Piedad para los labios como engarces
Celestes donde fulge
Invisible la perla de la Hostia;
–Labios que nunca fueron,
Que no apresaron nunca
Un vampiro de fuego
Con más sed y más hambre que un abismo.–
Piedad para los sexos sacrosantos
Que acoraza de una
Hoja de viña astral la Castidad;
Piedad para las plantas imantadas
De eternidad que arrastran
Por el eterno azur
Las sandalias quemantes de sus llagas;
Piedad, piedad, piedad
Para todas las vidas que defiende
De tus maravillosas intemperies
El mirador enhiesto del Orgullo;

Apuntales tus soles o tus rayos!

Eros: acaso no sentiste nunca
Piedad de las estatuas?…

              English

    –Eros: have you never felt
Piety for the statues?
These chrysalides of stone,
Some formidable race
In an eternal, unutterable hope.
The sleeping craters of their mouths
Utter the black ash of silence;
A copious shroud of Calm
Falls from the columns of their arms,
And night flows from their eyesockets;
Victims of Destiny or Mystery,
In magnificent and terrible cocoons,
They wait for Life or Death.
Eros: have you never perhaps felt
Piety for the statues?
    Piety for the lives
That will not strew nor rend your battles
Nor gild your fiery truces;
Piety for the bodies clothed
In the solemn ermine of Calm,
The luminous foreheads that endure
Their marble wreaths, grand and pure,
Weighty and glacial as icebergs;
Piety for the gloved hands of ice
That cannot uproot
The delicious fruits of the Flesh,
The fantastic flowers of the soul;
Piety for the eyes that flutter
Their spiritual eyelids:
Mysterious fish scales,
Dark curtains on rose visions…
For looking so far, they never see!
    Piety for the tidy heads of hair
–Mystical haloes–
Gently combed like lakes
Which the storm’s black fan,
Black and enormous, never thrashes;
Piety for the spirits, illustrious,
Carved of diamonds,
High, clear, ecstatic
Lightning rods on pious domes;
Piety for the lips like celestial settings
Where the invisible pearls of the Host gleam;
–Lips that never existed,
Never seized anything,
A fiery vampire
With more thirst and hunger than an abyss.
Piety for the sacrosanct sexes
That armor themselves with sheaths
From the astral vineyards of Chastity;
Piety for the magnetized footsoles
Who eternally drag
Sandals burning with sores
Through the eternal azure;
Piety, piety, pity
For all the lives defended
By the lighthouse of Pride
From your marvelous raw weathers:

Aim your suns and rays at them!

Eros: have you never perhaps felt
Pity for the statues?

I was a dare devil,
I always raised the level,
I got bruises and scars,
But that didn't stop me from going bizarre

I would jump and skate,
But it wasn't my fate,
I have to find something else to do,
Before I don't have clue
© Sasha Morales

help me be like a tree
strong and mighty healing energy
let me be like the wind
always there
no beginning or end
guide my soul
as i start again.
sacred womb filled with deep desires
divine flame that lights my fire
guarding, guiding, dodging out the dark
unique individual
creating a spark.
my sacred spider spirit guide
i come to you within the night
weaves webs of hope on my thorn pricked thighs
morning rises
dew drops
drip on my bed
water heals my worried dread
reflections of truth
act as a reminder
to soften my heart and always be kinder
may i always remember
my destiny and who i was made to be
remove my ego and pride
so now i can see,
IN LA'KECH
i am u and u are me

Maya Ixchel Morales

Per quanto adoro un matrimonio moderno o rustico .io sono un vero romantico a cuore .Un amante Jane Austen che si innamora perdutamente di morbidi .fiori lussureggianti e giardino ricevimenti partito- esque che vi toglierà il fiato .Questo .amici miei .è uno di quei matrimoni.Una splendida storia drop-dead .che è tutto il romanticismo .e tutto sulla bella .Vedi tutto catturato dalle Fotografia Redfield nella piena galleria .

ColorsSeasonsSummerSettingsMansionStylesRomanticTraditional Elegance

Da Sposa.Peter e io ci siamo incontrati nella scuola media.ma non iniziare risalente fino a dopo ci siamo laureati di scuola superiore .Dopo incontri per oltre otto anni .Peter ha infine deciso di proporre .con l'aiuto del nostro cane .Dexter .Peter fece un segno da appendere al collo Dexter ' che ha dettoè èommy .vuoi sposare papà?ècon un po' di zampa di cane sul segno .363 giorni dopo che Peter ha proposto .ci siamo sposati .Se potessi scegliere alcune parole chiave per descrivere l'ispirazione complessiva



e il tema stavamo andando perché sarebbero: romantico .classico ed elegante .Niente di troppo pesanteèVolevamo una serata piena luce d'amore .risate .la famiglia e gli amici .Volevamo solo che tutto sia classico .
tocchi speciali e progetti fai da te : Abbiamo avuto un artista dal vivo (pittore ).che ogni singolo ospite pensava fosse davvero incredibile !E lei era assolutamente abiti da cerimonia taglie forti incredibile ;una giovane donna di grande talento .Inoltre .il nostro cane ha svolto un ruolo speciale .era sullo sfondo della cerimonia di nozze .e poi dopo ci siamo sposati ufficialmente è venuto avanti in modo che potessimo recesso lungo la navata come una famiglia .La nostra lista di birra è stata inoltre selezionata a mano dal padre dello sposo .

PROGETTI fai da te:zecche

èsalvavita nel cartoncino che sembravano coi libri conè e èsu di loro .o la data del matrimonio .o la nostra monogramma sposato in penna d'oro .

èLa toile e tabella navy numeri in corniciè eacquisti per telai per diversi mesi .raccogliendo una o due qui o là .poi spray dipinto tutti loro oro .Mi piace toile e volevo nel mio matrimonio in qualche modo .ma non è tutto .così ** avuto l'idea di fare la tabella numeri toile .Quindi.con avorio e carta da parati blu toile .** tagliato ogni pezzo in base vestiti da sposa economici alle dimensioni del telaio.rintracciato numeri .e poi dipinto i numeri blu navy con vernice artigianali .

èHo anche fatto ilè èr .e la signoraèfirmare allo stesso modo.ma utilizzata vernice d'oro per un tocco diverso .

Fotografia : Fotografia Redfield | Florist : Radebaugh ' fioraio e Greenhouse | Wedding Cake : Graul ' Mercato | Cerimonia Luogo : La Liriodendron Mansion | Banco Luogo vestiti da sposa economici : La Liriodendron Mansion | Scarpe : Ivanka Trump | Bridesmaids Dresses : Alfed Sung | Catering :Dean And Brown Catering | vestito dello sposo : Tux Da Chaps Ralph Lauren | Grooms Scarpe : Clarks bostoniano | Cerimonia Musicista : Miriam Joy | Day Of Coordinatore: Stephanie Day Of Dream Day Planners | Abiti Groomsmen ' : Tux Da Chaps Ralph Lauren | Hair Stylist :sally Morales Of Blondie ' Hair Studio | Inviti .programmi e Signage: persnickety Invito Studio | Jewlerey : Kate ***** | live Artista / Pittore : Leah Crumbling | Banco Gruppo: The Bachelor Ragazzi band | Videographers : Reflexion Videografia | Designer Abito da sposa: AmsaleAmsale è un membro del nostro Look Book .Per ulteriori informazioni su come vengono scelti i membri .fare clic qui
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I'm sorry boo
I never meant to
Couldn't forsee this happening

Oh god what have I done?
Am I unfaithful...

Thats been on my mind this past couple of hours
I didnt mean to say what I did
Was trying to be nice and friendly
Trying to brighten their mood
I wasnt looking for love
I have you
Right?
You'll stay here right?
I'm scared...
Terrified
Petrified
Mortified

What have I done
Am I unfaithful...

I cant live with myself
Whyd i act in such a way
What's wrong with me
The voices they scream inside
Someone please help me
I've dishonored myself
My character
My partner and
my morales

She said, I'll never love a man...
Who ridicules my weight,
I said then don't,
Who bothers me about my posture,
Being straight...scoliosis,
I said then don't,
Who says I can't wear this or that,
I said then don't,
Who questions my morales & beliefs,
I said then don't,
Who makes fun of the things,
That bring me relief,
I said then don't,
Who wants to have *** after the first date,
I said then don't,
She said, I'll never love a man...
I said then don't.

El día de los desventurados, el día pálido se asoma
con un desgarrador olor frío, con sus fuerzas en gris,
sin cascabeles, goteando el alba por todas partes:
es un naufragio en el vacío, con un alrededor de llanto.

Porque se fue de tantos sitios la sombra húmeda, callada,
de tantas cavilaciones en vano, de tantos parajes terrestres
en donde debió ocupar hasta el designio de las raíces,
de tanta forma aguda que se defendía.

Yo lloro en medio de lo invadido, entre lo confuso,
entre el sabor creciente, poniendo el oído
en la pura circulación, en el aumento,
cediendo sin rumbo el paso a lo que arriba,
a lo que surge vestido de cadenas y claveles,
yo sueño, sobrellevando mis vestigios morales.

Nada hay de precipitado ni de alegre, ni de forma orgullosa,
todo aparece haciéndose con evidente pobreza,
la luz de la tierra sale de sus párpados
no como la campanada, sino más bien como las lágrimas:
el tejido del día, su lienzo débil,
sirve para una venda de enfermos, sirve para hacer señas
en una despedida, detrás de la ausencia:
es el color que sólo quiere reemplazar,
cubrir, tragar, vencer, hacer distancias.

Estoy solo entre materias desvencijadas,
la lluvia cae sobre mí, y se me parece,
se me parece con su desvarío, solitaria en el mundo muerto,
rechazada al caer, y sin forma obstinada.

I used to run-Never for fun--I would more often be running away from something than to it. I think it started in childhood. Never staying in one place long enough to have to fight every kid in the school.-I liked and i hated it. More often i had no control over it. On reflection it was for the better, my nose bleed too much for a kid my age. -In the second phase of my running career I began running out. Never telling the bosses to go play in heavy tracffic or do your **** self. I had morales and above all practised good manners. Instead i would tell the bosses that i was taking out the trash and make my freedom dash. -Oh, beleive me I flet free. The funny part was when the bosses would call my parents. Just as countless pricipals would do when i skipped classes. My parents would luagh and call them an ***. -Then i began running away. I only did it once...well that's a lie. I ran away from my highschool guidence office, far too drunk to face my parents scorn. "Yeah i drank it all. i replaced it with water, much healthier." -The last time I ran away I thought I was going to find myself. I had lost a part of myself to drugs and alcohol. I thought for sure i would find myself on the other side of the country on a small island on the Pacific Ocean. I went to rehab and could not find the person i went looking for. I thought briefly i had found myself, but when I looked in the mirror i could not even recognize my own face. I blamed my mustache. -I realized that running away to find myself i ran away from my family and my friends. Alas the old dies so the new can be born. -In my opinion if one is to run away it's for good. Never to return to such and such a place again, unless of course you have to do your taxes.

Have the shatering cries awoken you
Have the conscientious thoughts split you in two
Or will you shrug and let it pass
Mumbling silent "I'm glad it aint my ***"

Contradicting morales give us hope
Dangling in view like a transparent rope
Instead of taking action we hessitate, stall
All the whille letting the person below fall

I however, will not run from the fight
Face down the darkness even in the shadow o f the night
I will be there to say "Hey miss,
Why are you crying
Is it cuz of all the people dying
Don't worry it won't be long
One day they will hear our sad song
They will realize what went wrong
For humanity will see us through
This I promise you"

Una y otra vez,
Mi percepción falló.
Las opiniones que antes tuve,
Se escondieron.
Tu voz ganó.

¿Qué será del mañana
y dónde guardo el ayer?
La mente da vueltas
Intentando comprender.
Si en verdad eran mentiras,
¿Entonces, a quién logré conocer?

Eras tú quien me tocaba con placer,
¿Eras tú quien amanecía en mi piel?
Eras tú quien prometía eternidad,
¿O sólo estabas jugando con mi debilidad?
Si todo era una mentira,
¿Entonces, a quién logré conocer?

Una y otra vez,
El corazón me falló.
Las morales que antes tuve,
Me dijeron adiós,
Tu risa ganó.

Yo aquí con más ganas de ti,
Tú allá como un mago
Haciendo desaparecer todo de mí.
Yo aquí escribiendo la historia sobre este papel,
Tú allá con tijeras, escondiendo el ayer.
¿A quién logré conocer?

Una y otra vez,
Me doy cuenta muy tarde
Que fue mi pura ignorancia,
A la quien logré conocer.

You took everything
and returned to the scene
To take home some images of victory
and I knew too late what happend
Staring right into your eyes as the realization ended
All I could do was try to look anew
Attempting not to bleed right through
While I splashed about in shallow waters
I'll just have to learn how to go without
The shame in this game will never max out
and you left me there weeping
Sold me cutthroat trout
I ate it up
Gluttonously
Then spit out the bones of the person I used to be
She's so far from me
I ode to the quicksand beneath my feet
To the weasle who found a way into my keep
The racoon who robbed me so blind
and left me defiled morales
Now left behind and strung about
I graced him like a loser should
I fought but much too late I understood

One single minute ago it was yesterday.
But now it's today.
Minutes are a funny thing.
They can go by in the blink of an eye when you want them to last forever.
They can take forever to pass when you just want the next one to arrive.

Hours are an even funnier thing.
Just one hour ago I was shivering.
I was cold and I was alone and I was sick and I was thinking about you.
Now, an hour later I am uncomfortably hot and I am thinking about how to get my next pack of cigarettes.
One hour someone could be in love and the next they could be hateful.

Days are odd as well.
One day ago I was happy.
I was in a place that I love and I was enjoying myself.
Now, one day later I am home and yet I am home sick.
One day someone could be alive and the next day they could be dead.

Months are ridiculous.
One month ago I was carefree.
I smoked anything I could get my hands on and I was the highest flying bird in the sky.
Now, one month later I am recovering and I am paying the price.
One month someone could be scared for their life and the next they can be living without a single thought.

Now years, there's some tricky business.
One year ago I had morales.
I was strong and I stood by my beliefs and I was surrounded by love and friends.
Now, one year later I am intolerant and in need of a soul search.
One year someone could be the king of the world and the next they can be the one shoveling ****.

But lifetimes, don't even get me started on those.
One lifetime ago I could have been a priest. I could have been a king. I could have been a drug dealer and I could have been a drug addict.
Now, one lifetime later I am myself and I am happy and than sad and than happy and confused.
One lifetime can see a lot but it can also be blind from what's going on.

Time is a man made concept.
It is not real and it will never be real unless you let it.
You can let it control your life and make you decide on subjects you are not ready to.
Or you can **** on time and live your ******* life however you please.

"The past is a liar, the future a *****."

Now, there is this thing called distance...

I.

Retournons à l'école, ô mon vieux Juvénal.
Homme d'ivoire et d'or, descends du tribunal
Où depuis deux mille ans tes vers superbes tonnent.
Il paraît, vois-tu bien, ces choses nous étonnent,
Mais c'est la vérité selon monsieur Riancey,
Que lorsqu'un peu de temps sur le sang a passé,
Après un an ou deux, c'est une découverte,
Quoi qu'en disent les morts avec leur bouche verte,
Le meurtre n'est plus meurtre et le vol n'est plus vol.
Monsieur Veuillot, qui tient d'Ignace et d'Auriol,
Nous l'affirme, quand l'heure a tourné sur l'horloge,
De notre entendement ceci fait peu l'éloge,
Pourvu qu'à Notre-Dame on brûle de l'encens
Et que l'abonné vienne aux journaux bien pensants,
Il paraît que, sortant de son hideux suaire,
Joyeux, en panthéon changeant son ossuaire,
Dans l'opération par monsieur Fould aidé,
Par les juges lavé, par les filles fardé,
Ô miracle ! entouré de croyants et d'apôtres,
En dépit des rêveurs, en dépit de nous autres
Noirs poètes bourrus qui n'y comprenons rien,
Le mal prend tout à coup la figure du bien.

II.

Il est l'appui de l'ordre ; il est bon catholique
Il signe hardiment - prospérité publique.
La trahison s'habille en général français
L'archevêque ébloui bénit le dieu Succès
C'était crime jeudi, mais c'est haut fait dimanche.
Du pourpoint Probité l'on retourne la manche.
Tout est dit. La vertu tombe dans l'arriéré.
L'honneur est un vieux fou dans sa cave muré.
Ô grand penseur de bronze, en nos dures cervelles
Faisons entrer un peu ces morales nouvelles,
Lorsque sur la Grand'Combe ou sur le blanc de zinc
On a revendu vingt ce qu'on a payé cinq,
Sache qu'un guet-apens par où nous triomphâmes
Est juste, honnête et bon. Tout au rebours des femmes,
Sache qu'en vieillissant le crime devient beau.
Il plane cygne après s'être envolé corbeau.
Oui, tout cadavre utile exhale une odeur d'ambre.
Que vient-on nous parler d'un crime de décembre
Quand nous sommes en juin ! l'herbe a poussé dessus.
Toute la question, la voici : fils, tissus,
Cotons et sucres bruts prospèrent ; le temps passe.
Le parjure difforme et la trahison basse
En avançant en âge ont la propriété
De perdre leur bassesse et leur difformité
Et l'assassinat louche et tout souillé de lange
Change son front de spectre en un visage d'ange.

III.

Et comme en même temps, dans ce travail normal,
La vertu devient faute et le bien devient mal,
Apprends que, quand Saturne a soufflé sur leur rôle,
Néron est un sauveur et Spartacus un drôle.
La raison obstinée a beau faire du bruit ;
La justice, ombre pâle, a beau, dans notre nuit,
Murmurer comme un souffle à toutes les oreilles ;
On laisse dans leur coin bougonner ces deux vieilles.
Narcisse gazetier lapide Scévola.
Accoutumons nos yeux à ces lumières-là
Qui font qu'on aperçoit tout sous un nouvel angle,
Et qu'on voit Malesherbe en regardant Delangle.
Sachons dire : Lebœuf est grand, Persil est beau
Et laissons la pudeur au fond du lavabo.

IV.

Le bon, le sûr, le vrai, c'est l'or dans notre caisse.
L'homme est extravagant qui, lorsque tout s'affaisse,
Proteste seul debout dans une nation,
Et porte à bras tendu son indignation.
Que diable ! il faut pourtant vivre de l'air des rues,
Et ne pas s'entêter aux choses disparues.
Quoi ! tout meurt ici-bas, l'aigle comme le ver,
Le charançon périt sous la neige l'hiver,
Quoi ! le Pont-Neuf fléchit lorsque les eaux sont grosses,
Quoi ! mon coude est troué, quoi ! je perce mes chausses,
Quoi ! mon feutre était neuf et s'est usé depuis,
Et la vérité, maître, aurait, dans son vieux puits,
Cette prétention rare d'être éternelle !
De ne pas se mouiller quand il pleut, d'être belle
À jamais, d'être reine en n'ayant pas le sou,
Et de ne pas mourir quand on lui tord le cou !
Allons donc ! Citoyens, c'est au fait qu'il faut croire.

V.

Sur ce, les charlatans prêchent leur auditoire
D'idiots, de mouchards, de grecs, de philistins,
Et de gens pleins d'esprit détroussant les crétins
La Bourse rit ; la hausse offre aux badauds ses prismes ;
La douce hypocrisie éclate en aphorismes ;
C'est bien, nous gagnons gros et nous sommes contents
Et ce sont, Juvénal, les maximes du temps.
Quelque sous-diacre, éclos dans je ne sais quel bouge,
Trouva ces vérités en balayant Montrouge,
Si bien qu'aujourd'hui fiers et rois des temps nouveaux,
Messieurs les aigrefins et messieurs les dévots
Déclarent, s'éclairant aux lueurs de leur cierge,
Jeanne d'Arc courtisane et Messaline vierge.

Voilà ce que curés, évêques, talapoins,
Au nom du Dieu vivant, démontrent en trois points,
Et ce que le filou qui fouille dans ma poche
Prouve par A plus B, par Argout plus Baroche.

VI.

Maître ! voilà-t-il pas de quoi nous indigner ?
À quoi bon s'exclamer ? à quoi bon trépigner ?
Nous avons l'habitude, en songeurs que nous sommes,
De contempler les nains bien moins que les grands hommes
Même toi satirique, et moi tribun amer,
Nous regardons en haut, le bourgeois dit : en l'air ;
C'est notre infirmité. Nous fuyons la rencontre
Des sots et des méchants. Quand le Dombidau montre
Son crâne et que le Fould avance son menton,
J'aime mieux Jacques Coeur, tu préfères Caton
La gloire des héros, des sages que Dieu crée,
Est notre vision éternelle et sacrée ;
Eblouis, l'œil noyé des clartés de l'azur,
Nous passons notre vie à voir dans l'éther pur
Resplendir les géants, penseurs ou capitaines
Nous regardons, au bruit des fanfares lointaines,
Au-dessus de ce monde où l'ombre règne encor,
Mêlant dans les rayons leurs vagues poitrails d'or,
Une foule de chars voler dans les nuées.
Aussi l'essaim des gueux et des prostituées,
Quand il se heurte à nous, blesse nos yeux pensifs.
Soit. Mais réfléchissons. Soyons moins exclusifs.
Je hais les cœurs abjects, et toi, tu t'en défies ;
Mais laissons-les en paix dans leurs philosophies.

VII.

Et puis, même en dehors de tout ceci, vraiment,
Peut-on blâmer l'instinct et le tempérament ?
Ne doit-on pas se faire aux natures des êtres ?
La fange a ses amants et l'ordure a ses prêtres ;
De la cité bourbier le vice est citoyen ;
Où l'un se trouve mal, l'autre se trouve bien ;
J'en atteste Minos et j'en fais juge Eaque,
Le paradis du porc, n'est-ce pas le cloaque ?
Voyons, en quoi, réponds, génie âpre et subtil,
Cela nous touche-t-il et nous regarde-t-il,
Quand l'homme du serment dans le meurtre patauge,
Quand monsieur Beauharnais fait du pouvoir une auge,
Si quelque évêque arrive et chante alleluia,
Si Saint-Arnaud bénit la main qui le paya,
Si tel ou tel bourgeois le célèbre et le loue,
S'il est des estomacs qui digèrent la boue ?
Quoi ! quand la France tremble au vent des trahisons,
Stupéfaits et naïfs, nous nous ébahissons
Si Parieu vient manger des glands sous ce grand chêne !
Nous trouvons surprenant que l'eau coule à la Seine,
Nous trouvons merveilleux que Troplong soit Scapin,
Nous trouvons inouï que Dupin soit Dupin !

VIII.

Un vieux penchant humain mène à la turpitude.
L'opprobre est un logis, un centre, une habitude,
Un toit, un oreiller, un lit tiède et charmant,
Un bon manteau bien ample où l'on est chaudement.
L'opprobre est le milieu respirable aux immondes.
Quoi ! nous nous étonnons d'ouïr dans les deux mondes
Les dupes faisant chœur avec les chenapans,
Les gredins, les niais vanter ce guet-apens !
Mais ce sont là les lois de la mère nature.
C'est de l'antique instinct l'éternelle aventure.
Par le point qui séduit ses appétits flattés
Chaque bête se plaît aux monstruosités.
Quoi ! ce crime est hideux ! quoi ! ce crime est stupide !
N'est-il plus d'animaux pour l'admirer ? Le vide
S'est-il fait ? N'est-il plus d'êtres vils et rampants ?
N'est-il plus de chacals ? n'est-il plus de serpents ?
Quoi ! les baudets ont-ils pris tout à coup des ailes,
Et se sont-ils enfuis aux voûtes éternelles ?
De la création l'âne a-t-il disparu ?
Quand Cyrus, Annibal, César, montaient à cru
Cet effrayant cheval qu'on appelle la gloire,
Quand, ailés, effarés de joie et de victoire,
Ils passaient flamboyants au fond des cieux vermeils,
Les aigles leur craient : vous êtes nos pareils !
Les aigles leur criaient : vous portez le tonnerre !
Aujourd'hui les hiboux acclament Lacenaire.
Eh bien ! je trouve bon que cela soit ainsi.
J'applaudis les hiboux et je leur dis : merci.
La sottise se mêle à ce concert sinistre,
Tant mieux. Dans sa gazette, ô Juvénal, tel cuistre
Déclare, avec messieurs d'Arras et de Beauvais,
Mandrin très bon, et dit l'honnête homme mauvais,
Foule aux pieds les héros et vante les infâmes,
C'est tout simple ; et, vraiment, nous serions bonnes âmes
De nous émerveiller lorsque nous entendons
Les Veuillots aux lauriers préférer les chardons !

IX.

Donc laissons aboyer la conscience humaine
Comme un chien qui s'agite et qui tire sa chaîne.
Guerre aux justes proscrits ! gloire aux coquins fêtés !
Et faisons bonne mine à ces réalités.
Acceptons cet empire unique et véritable.
Saluons sans broncher Trestaillon connétable,
Mingrat grand aumônier, Bosco grand électeur ;
Et ne nous fâchons pas s'il advient qu'un rhéteur,
Un homme du sénat, un homme du conclave,
Un eunuque, un cagot, un sophiste, un esclave,
Esprit sauteur prenant la phrase pour tremplin,
Après avoir chanté César de grandeur plein,
Et ses perfections et ses mansuétudes,
Insulte les bannis jetés aux solitudes,
Ces brigands qu'a vaincus Tibère Amphitryon.
Vois-tu, c'est un talent de plus dans l'histrion ;
C'est de l'art de flatter le plus exquis peut-être ;
On chatouille moins bien Henri huit, le bon maître,
En louant Henri huit qu'en déchirant Morus.
Les dictateurs d'esprit, bourrés d'éloges crus,
Sont friands, dans leur gloire et dans leurs arrogances,
De ces raffinements et de ces élégances.
Poète, c'est ainsi que les despotes sont.
Le pouvoir, les honneurs sont plus doux quand ils ont
Sur l'échafaud du juste une fenêtre ouverte.
Les exilés, pleurant près de la mer déserte,
Les sages torturés, les martyrs expirants
Sont l'assaisonnement du bonheur des tyrans.
Juvénal, Juvénal, mon vieux lion classique,
Notre vin de Champagne et ton vin de Massique,
Les festins, les palais, et le luxe effréné,
L'adhésion du prêtre et l'amour de Phryné,
Les triomphes, l'orgueil, les respects, les caresses,
Toutes les voluptés et toutes les ivresses
Dont s'abreuvait Séjan, dont se gorgeait Rufin,
Sont meilleures à boire, ont un goût bien plus fin,
Si l'on n'est pas un sot à cervelle exiguë,
Dans la coupe où Socrate hier but la ciguë !

Jersey, le 5 février 1853.

Bleary, dreary bifocals looked out through seeing eyes. At the maze of apiculture before him. He pushed a cart his whole life, never stepping up on the ledge to ride it.

Every Tuesday night, his fist packed tight full of ones. Uncrumbling, Washington from his back pocketed jeans. He'd lay him out flat, on the desk, like I should be impressed. One pack of cigs please.

He'd take his cart, around the world & back. Show kaleidoscope girls a good time. Because no matter how pretty that **** picture was, no matter how many times you tore it a part...it was always ugly. Just like the make up, that caked up the beauty on her face.

Parking lot pickups, corner cat-calls, was all she would be worth, a penny in the gutter, if she was lucky. Face up, grasped by hands that'll never love her. Such a steep price, for such a cheap use of love. Generic.

He tells them, he loves them as his boots slide on, comfortable. Too much in a hurry to take his socks off. Humming, Spin Doctors under his breath. He breaths heavily, like he worked so hard that day.

She holds onto morales like lose change, change is lose when you're use, to anything. That shows up on the corners on a Tuesday night, with something new to ignite. Not just the ciggerate between his lips. Lion skin, hipocrathy.

I lay the bills neatly in the drawr, wondering what price he really pays for the stress to relieve his mind. What price does the girl pay, how many clinics does she visit in a year. Baby girl YOUR NOT AN ACCIDENT, YOUR WORTH MORE THAN THE WORDS THAT HIT YOUR CHEEK LIKE A SLAP YOU HAVE MORE POTENTIAL THAN THE MEN YOU LET COMFORT YOU INTO THIS ABUSIVE SOLIDTUDE. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, I WOULD SPEND EVERY CENT I HAD JUST TO SIT & TALK WITH YOU.

**Luke 7:47
"Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”"

I was thinking of a poem
About a girl I saw
With a starved face
Eyes bulging
Teeth protruding
A screaming skeleton of despair
I saw her and thought
I could love you...
But that was interrupted
By a poem about a new fondness
For sleeping pills
Numbness
I once tried to cry at night
But couldn't
And I felt like a real
******* for even trying...
I walked into the bathroom
And threw a few jabs
And right hooks
Into the mirror
I thought
I'm 5'7
145 lbs
Just like Barrera, Morales, Chavez
All the great Mexican fighters
I walked out and thought of quotes
By Fante, Sartre, something Hemingway said
I looked at all the people around me
And thought
They couldn't quote anybody
Jesus Christ!
What the hell do THEY think about?
It must be terrifying!
They don't read
They don't scream
They don't fight
They don't go on drinking binges
Where's the scars?
Where's the passion?
Where's the life?
But then I noticed
They were all smiling
Talking
Laughing
Walking
Together
I suddenly felt a massive
Heaviness
Upon me
I noticed it had been there
All along
Maybe
I've been doing it all wrong

I have a plethora of empty et ceteras ahead of ya for getting you a head of yeahs. With this thick pen i spaz, repeat my jazz, ******, foobaz. Move through new class. U2 sweet lass or move it last. like molasses through the past without esses. Witout ss? Ooh, too fast? So we give r for morales, too, dad. You don't get it? Oh, too bad.

You were like nothing I had seen an open window ready  for me to make my escape
i never thought i'd need an  easy way out , but I guess you only get what you can take.
I was always one for taking to much fun and not giving in to the things i'd done
but the things i'd do, I'd do for you and can I ask, if you would do them to.
You were like a door way out, but i was scared of the town we were in and i waver closely only to places i  had been. And some times a door left open is never used, despite the fact that the cat had the chance choose.  Was I the cat runing forth and back waiting for a chance to slip away unseen, cause my morales couldn't stand to be mean.
Would I be the one to hurt you as long as i didn't seem to. Would i be the one to take what wasn't mine. I couldn't be unkind, I couldn't be unkind.

Can you ever really make up sleep that you've lost,
Can your mind settle when your health is the cost?

When she tells you she cares and a moment you pause,
but her actions are damning; they paint a lost cause.

A wiseman once said for the highest of highs
Are the lowest of lows when the fireworks die.

Must we be young and stupid, if to ever be wise,
Or know the truth in her words, if we've never heard lies?

Will men always pay for the damages brought,
by boys making choices without second thoughts?

Will she always abandon in search of adventure,
Morales, and manners; replace values with anger?

Am I not a man if I act out of fear,
but to feel naive when I look in the mirror?

There isn't a path the truth will not alter,
Not a shadow is found in the final hours.

As the fireworks end, the colors will taper,
Answers lie in the ashes and die with the cinders.

The devil isn't hidden in darkness.
He is in the eyes of the girl you love,
And in the smell of the man you desire.
He is hidden in the tiny crevices of your morales,
And in your thoughts of sinful deeds.
So, do not dread the dark,
It is asleep like the will of God.
Beware of those echoes in thought-
That speak the will of demons.
For the real dwelling of the devil,
Is in the prosaic details of your life.

They'll tell you to listen to your heart like you have another option...
they'll insist on saying the answer dwells there
even when it's clear your heart is an empty place
with nothing but cracks bearing monstrous crevices
which leak away whatever little sense that finds its way there.
They'll implore you to stretch and strain the
stiff neck of your faith to the chest of the unfathomable,
and listen to the silent pulse of a fate far beyond the touch
of your feeble faith,something even a flexible python of hope can't do,
a thing even the Ostrich of optimism finds searing hurt doing.
They'll implore because they can't understand the depth
of the **** you've been through or smell its odourless pungent stink...
Because they lack the bravery to face your phantom,
to courageously plough through the pitch of the life you've endured,
because they lack the foresight to envision or
the mind's eye to see the invisible distance you have left to chew,
because they can't swallow even one spoonful of the bitter
mound of history you carry along on your journey to an uncertainty
you are not sure you'll reach... an illusive destination.
They'll tell you to listen to your heart because they lack
the ears of empathy to hear the deafening silence of the bangs of your doldrums...
neither do they have the wings to soar through the violent
winds of your despair or feet it takes to walk in your shoes...
they will speak with an orator's eloquence,stuttering
foolish words of wisdom because they are blank of how deep shards
of a broken heart can cut...they will implore you to be a man,
because they know a lot of nothing about being a man
one of which is men don't cry... they haven't been in presence
of the silent sobs of masculinity whose tears are buried
with dead hearts in the tombs of hypocrisy.
You'll hear very many voices for each splinter will speak for itself
but insistently and persistently they'll push you to the edge
of the cliff of your disarray ignorant of the star filled sky billion choices
twinkling on each glistening piece of the mirror like shards of your heart...
This they'll do because that's just what humans have been
channelled off course the river of true humanity to do...
tell you they've got your back so you can confidently
expose yourself to the deepest stub...boost your morales
so that you can stupidly climb to dizzying heights,
tell you they'll catch you only to film you jump to your hardest fall...
they'll promise to help you cleanse your dead just to see
whether you'll frown at their stench,and to curse
and mock in case you spit... they'll tell you that the path out of
your labyrinth is mapped across your heart simply to enjoy
seeing you wonder rudderless in the Sea of discombobulation...
Humans, they'll offer to circumcise you freely just to laugh at you
when you wince at the cruel touch of the blunt knife of their shameless daring...
they'll give you pills so they can mock at the difficulty
their bitterness brings at ingestion...
they'll tell you to listen to your heart like you didn't hear
your own jumbled heartbeat before you opted for their ugly opinions...
they'll say it, enjoying the moment and beautifully...
"your Heart knows it all" like you have another option besides your hurt.
and you will follow not because they said
but because you have no other boulevard to take

She cringe when she looks at herself
In the mirror, she is tedium all she
Could see is what people say about her
UGLY, MEAN, WORTHLESS
          She has been told;
          So in her mind it's
       Very plausible that this
              Is who she is
She reprieve herself by agreeing with what
          People say about her
She  always abstain herself from
                      TEARS
She has a plethora amount of sadness
                LACKLUSTER
           She wished she had
She is very tenacious of keeping what little
                 HAPPINESS
She has the gift she gave herself to be
                HEADSTRONG
                And that is her
              RESIGNATION           -By, Emely Morales N.

Yeah.
I often drink 10 beers
Alone
On nights like these.
And shadow box
Morales style
In the corner of my room
In the moonlight
Singing Lorca's screaming poems
And feeling Sartre's
Nothingness
I walk the streets of
Los Angeles
Like its ******* Ask The Dust 1939
Ignoring droids and hover boards
Flying right past me
All the good writers are dead.
And all the words are just ******* now.
Especially
Mine.

As I sit there and wonder by my window
I see the night sky take Over..
I Get lost..while I glare out drifting through my mind..
I Get lost on what seems to be the light of a
street light. How it glows in this darkness..
How it calls.. for Inspiration. How my mind craves creation.
What am I..
We are human..
Will I be found.. will they love me.. ?
They will..


Just don't forget Me. .

- Alex Medina Morales

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdtSXiHVgpE

La respiración del lenguaje establece
la sucesión de miserables
morales. Los otros, ya se sabe:
sus silencios no cierran nunca
y dan vuelta la esquina
con bocas que no sueñan. Los morales,
legales y dudosos, hablan
pesadillas sin fin.
El distraído pide algo
que no haga pensar.
En la distancia entre él y él mismo
suceden desgracias de la lengua.

La philosophie ose escalader le ciel.
Triste, elle est là. Qui donc t'a bâtie, ô Babel ?
Oh ! Quel monceau d'efforts sans but ! Quelles spirales
De songes, de leçons, de dogmes, de morales !
Ruche qu'emplit de bruit et de trouble un amas
De mages, de docteurs, de papes, de lamas !
Masure où l'hypothèse aux fictions s'adosse,
Ayant pour toit la nuit et pour cave la fosse ;
Bleus portiques béants sur les immensités,
De tous les tourbillons des rêves visités ;
Vain fronton que le poids de l'infini déprime,
Espèce de clocher sinistre de l'abîme
Où bourdonnent l'effroi, la révolte, et l'essaim
De toutes les erreurs sonnant leur noir tocsin !
Et, comme, de lueurs confusément semées,
Par les brèches d'un toit s'exhalent des fumées,
Les doctrines, les lois et les religions,
Ce qu'aujourd'hui l'on croit, ce qu'hier nous songions,
Tout ce qu'inventa l'homme, autel, culte ou système,
Par tous les soupiraux de l'édifice blême,
À travers la noirceur du ciel morne et profond,
Toutes les visions du genre humain s'en vont,
Éparses, en lambeaux, par les vents dénouées,
Dans un dégorgement livide de nuées.

Temple, atelier, tombeau, l'édifice fait peur.
On veut prendre une pierre, on touche une vapeur.
Nul n'a pu l'achever. Pas de cycle ni d'âge
Qui n'ait mis son échelle au sombre échafaudage.
Qui donc habite là ? C'est tombé, c'est debout ;
C'est de l'énormité qui tremble et se dissout ;
Une maison de nuit que le vide dilate.
Pyrrhon y verse l'eau sur les mains de Pilate ;
Le doute y rôde et fait le tour du cabanon
Où Descartes dit oui pendant qu'Hobbes dit non ;
Les générations sous le gouffre des portes
Roulent, comme, l'hiver, des tas de feuilles mortes ;
Les escaliers, sans fin montés et descendus,
Sont pleins de cris, d'appels, de pas sourds et perdus
Et d'un fourmillement de chimères rampantes ;
Des oiseaux effrayants volent dans les charpentes ;
C'est Bouddha, Mahomet, Luther disant : allez !
Lucrèce, Spinosa, tous les noirs sphinx ailés !

Tout l'homme est sculpté là. Socrate, Pythagore,
Malebranche, Thalès, Platon aux yeux d'aurore,
Combinent l'idéal pendant que Swift, Timon,
Ésope et Rabelais pétrissent le limon.
Est-il jour ? Est-il nuit ? Dans l'affreux crépuscule
Le rhéteur grimaçant ricane et gesticule ;
On ne sait quel reflet d'un funèbre orient
Blanchit les torses nus des cyniques riant,
Et des sages, jetant des ombres de satyres ;
Le devin rêve et tord dans les cordes des lyres
Le laurier vert mêlé de smilax éternel.
Chaque porche entr'ouvert découvre un noir tunnel
Dont l'extrémité montre une idéale étoile ;
Comme si, - Tu le sais, Isis au triple voile, -
Ces antres de science et ces puits de raison,
Souterrains de l'esprit humain, sans horizon,
Sans air, sans flamme, ayant le doute pour pilastre,
Employaient de la nuit à faire éclore un astre,
Et le mensonge impur, difforme, illimité,
Vaste, aveugle, à bâtir la blanche vérité !
Partout au vrai le faux, lierre hideux, s'enlace ;
Pas de dogme qui n'ait son point faible, et ne lasse
Une cariatide, un support, un étai ;
Thèbe a pour appui l'Inde, et l'Inde le Cathay ;
Memphis pèse sur Delphe, et Genève sur Rome ;
Et, végétation du sombre esprit de l'homme,
On voit, courbés d'un souffle à de certains moments,
Croître entre les créneaux des hauts entablements
Des arbres monstrueux et vagues dont les tiges
Frissonnent dans l'azur lugubre des vertiges.
Et de ces arbres noirs par instants tombe un fruit
À la foule des mains ouvertes dans la nuit ;
Quel fruit ? Demande au vent qui hurle et se déchaîne !
Quel fruit ? Le fruit d'erreur. Quel fruit ? Le fruit de haine ;
La pomme d'Ève avec la pomme de Vénus.

Ô tour ! Construction des maçons inconnus !
Elle monte, elle monte, et monte, et monte encore,
Encore, et l'on dirait que le ciel la dévore ;
Et tandis que tout sage ou fou qui passe met
Une pierre de plus à son brumeux sommet,
Sans cesse par la base elle croule et s'effondre
Dans l'ombre où Satan vient avec Dieu se confondre ;
Gouffre où l'on n'entend rien que le vent qui poursuit
Ces deux larves au fond d'un tremblement de nuit !

Nunca he podido confirmarlo, pero dicen que en plena guerra de las
Malvinas le preguntaron a Borges qué solución se le
ocurría para el conflicto, y él, con su sorna
metafísica de siempre, respondió: "Creo que Argentina y
Gran Bretaña tendrían que ponerse de acuerdo y adjudicar
las Malvinas a Bolivia, para que este país logre por fin su salida al mar".

En realidad, la ironía de Borges (siempre que la cita sea
verdadera) se basaba en una obsesión que está presente en
todo boliviano, ese alguien que siempre parece estar acechando el
horizonte en busca del esquivo mar que le fue negado. Tiene el
Titicaca, por supuesto, pero el enorme lago sólo le sirve para
que crezca su frustración, ya que en vez de conducirlo a otros
mundos, sólo lo conduce a sí mismo.

De todas maneras, cuando algún boliviano llega al mar, aunque
éste sea ajeno, siempre se trata de un blanco, nunca de un
indio. Hubo un indio, sin embargo, nacido junto a las minas de Oruro,
que por un extraño azar pudo alcanzar el mar prohibido.

Debió ser un niño simpático y bien dispuesto, ya
que una dama paceña, que estaba de paso en Oruro y
pertenecía a una familia acaudalada, lo vio casualmente y se lo
trajo a la capital, allá por los años cincuenta.
Rebautizado como Gualberto Aniceto Morales, aprendió a leer y
aprendió a servir. Y tan bien lo hizo, que cuando sus patrones
viajaron a Europa, lo llevaron consigo, no precisamente para ampliar su
horizonte sino para que los auxiliara en menesteres domésticos.

Así fue que el muchacho (que para ese entonces ya había
cumplido quince años) pudo ir coleccionando en su memoria
imágenes de mar: desde la tibieza verde del Mediterráneo
hasta los golfos helados del Báltico. Cuando al cabo de un
año sus protectores regresaron, Gualberto Aniceto pidió
que lo dejaran viajar a su pueblo para ver a su familia.

Allí, en su pobreza de origen, en la humilde y despojada
querencia, ante la mirada atónita y el silencio compacto de los
suyos, el viajero fue informando larga y pormenorizadamente sobre
farallones, olas, delfines, astilleros, mareas, peces voladores, buques
cisternas, muelles de pescadores, faros que parpadean, tiburones,
gaviotas, enormes transatlánticos.

No obstante, llegó una noche en que se quedó sin
recuerdos y calló. Pero los suyos no suspendieron su expectativa
y siguieron mirándolo, esperando, arracimados sobre el piso de
tierra y con las mejillas hinchadas por la coca. Desde el fondo del
recinto llegó la voz del abuelo, todavía inexorable, a
pesar de sus pulmones carcomidos: "¿Y qué más?".

Gualberto Aniceto sintió que no podía defraudarlos.
Sabía por experiencia que la nostalgia del mar no tiene fin. Y
fue entonces, sólo entonces, que empezó a hablar de las sirenas.

I can see connections
But I often can't explain
It's not only in my mind
But it is bipolar brain

St. Bruno the Carthusian
Stephen King in Maine
Silent Daoist hermits
The Man of La Mancha, Spain

Wendy in the silence
Mad but not insane
My postcards to Alex
Ride the Tucson Train

Soren Kierkegaard
Melancholy Dane
Help me reach the single one
Miles Morales y Lois Lane

           I am a window pane.