Light flanks the snowbanks
my memory thanks the simple soundscapes
of textures closing in
as walls and ceilings
and snow and sleet

We can blame the weather
but we'll be here forever
cursing ourselves
mid-stride

Stopping motion
mid-explosion

a simple thank you from the
particles we've denied

All things moving outward

The molten core of earth
Our mother

Chaos empty space
Our father


     Standing, surrendering.
        The weather tethers at my veins.
     Pushing.   Pulling.
             My emotions run high with the hopes of a new sunrise.

     Guide me,
          show me,
                 lead me to the holy water you sip like its never ending.
     Show me the truth behind every iris that passes my curious glance.
          Breathe in this cold sterile air while we dream of something tangible...

     Strange winds come on strong in the heart of the mislead, the outskirts.
                We thrive on the untouched surfaces of the mind..
           We breathe in the discomfort...


This is the nothing substance
I'm looking for

Seeking ever leaking truth
of faucet water too heavy

Minerals come to life
and return to the ground
in the instant of
midair waterfall

Weightless feeling fateless
determining the future
on solid ground grasses
fishing baitless

naked sameness

emotion

motion

ion

on


     Seeking direction in the wake of misdirected affection.
                                                     Faulting to the backbone of habits.

     Falling faster, I pause in the balance catching my breathe.
                                         I inhale everything surrounding my mind.
                         Exhaling all my simple poisons.
     A detox of wandering souls and singular holes.
     Eating.    Feeding.    Breeding.
             Filling all this space for all those after me.

     Fill me.
        Fulfill me.
     Accept the darkest crevasses of this mind.
                                                  I still turn a silent shy cheek...


Sea oh double
em oh en

Common ground
from the firmament I send

Confusion permanent
in an ocean

Oh see an end

Painless drifting aimless
seeking searching
for the seam
into which this world
is born

The lifeseeking thread that never ends

The bloodborne
pathogen

Of caring void
and emptiness

Caress you like a stone

Forever there

In the loveliness
of human hair

Saying, I was there

When emotion became
the firm ground
never sinking

Thinking of the way out
but never escaping

Mountains around
an ever growing feeling


     Drifting aimlessly into the empty serenity you present so pleasantly.
              Once again I slide further from comfort and balance...
                     Feeding off any sense of insecurity.
                            Craving that whole duality of my circumstance...

           I keep treading the muddy waters I choose.
     My body gets trapped in the
                                     sticky egos and messing misunderstandings,
                                                                                         in which everyone laughs away.

     I'll schlep the dirt from my soul and shine light once more.
            Exhausted and tried.

                                      Ill shine...


Your light
is not lost to
my dilated eyes


     It's lost in my own lost hope of withering dreams and lost star seeds.
            It falls away in every cold shake I make within whiskey's withdrawal.
                 It fades away in the simple staggers I make and unfulfilled chances I take.

     But, not all is lost.

     I still keep this little light of mine.
     I still let this light shine.

     I'm just a little more aware of the spaces it awakens and the souls it helps take in.
  
          It's ever shifting in this cosmic wake, it hides, it shies, it cries.
                    Like me, it knows when to pipe the **** down and listen to the world.
        Listen to everything it allows.

     It hears souls like you.
                                 It feeds me.


Feedback,
I've got my need back

Shaking like a lovesick
fiend

On every letter of your speech

I'll filter this wormhole
off kilter
into every relationship
in front of my eyes

Until we meet again,

I won't stop telling stories
of jackals speaking english

To fetch our sweet meat
from top shelves
and ruins

Blue and bruised
flesh alludes
to stories unspoken

and broken glass
dreams of unity

Bottle falls

Slow motion

It all seems
like a dream
in endless blue
love tokens

Dustin
     Amanda

Light flanks the snowbanks
my memory thanks the simple soundscapes
of textures closing in
as walls and ceilings
and snow and sleet

We can blame the weather
but we'll be here forever
cursing ourselves
mid-stride

Stopping motion
mid-explosion

a simple thank you from the
particles we've denied

All things moving outward

The molten core of earth
Our mother

Chaos empty space
Our father


     Standing, surrendering.
        The weather tethers at my veins.
     Pushing.   Pulling.
             My emotions run high with the hopes of a new sunrise.

     Guide me,
          show me,
                 lead me to the holy water you sip like its never ending.
     Show me the truth behind every iris that passes my curious glance.
          Breathe in this cold sterile air while we dream of something tangible...

     Strange winds come on strong in the heart of the mislead, the outskirts.
                We thrive on the untouched surfaces of the mind..
           We breathe in the discomfort...


This is the nothing substance
I'm looking for

Seeking ever leaking truth
of faucet water too heavy

Minerals come to life
and return to the ground
in the instant of
midair waterfall

Weightless feeling fateless
determining the future
on solid ground grasses
fishing baitless

naked sameness

emotion

motion

ion

on


     Seeking direction in the wake of misdirected affection.
                                                     Faulting to the backbone of habits.

     Falling faster, I pause in the balance catching my breathe.
                                         I inhale everything surrounding my mind.
                         Exhaling all my simple poisons.
     A detox of wandering souls and singular holes.
     Eating.    Feeding.    Breeding.
             Filling all this space for all those after me.

     Fill me.
        Fulfill me.
     Accept the darkest crevasses of this mind.
                                                  I still turn a silent shy cheek...


Sea oh double
em oh en

Common ground
from the firmament I send

Confusion permanent
in an ocean

Oh see an end

Painless drifting aimless
seeking searching
for the seam
into which this world
is born

The lifeseeking thread that never ends

The bloodborne
pathogen

Of caring void
and emptiness

Caress you like a stone

Forever there

In the loveliness
of human hair

Saying, I was there

When emotion became
the firm ground
never sinking

Thinking of the way out
but never escaping

Mountains around
an ever growing feeling


     Drifting aimlessly into the empty serenity you present so pleasantly.
              Once again I slide further from comfort and balance...
                     Feeding off any sense of insecurity.
                            Craving that whole duality of my circumstance...

           I keep treading the muddy waters I choose.
     My body gets trapped in the
                                     sticky egos and messing misunderstandings,
                                                                                         in which everyone laughs away.

     I'll schlep the dirt from my soul and shine light once more.
            Exhausted and tried.

                                      Ill shine...


Your light
is not lost to
my dilated eyes


     It's lost in my own lost hope of withering dreams and lost star seeds.
            It falls away in every cold shake I make within whiskey's withdrawal.
                 It fades away in the simple staggers I make and unfulfilled chances I take.

     But, not all is lost.

     I still keep this little light of mine.
     I still let this light shine.

     I'm just a little more aware of the spaces it awakens and the souls it helps take in.
   
          It's ever shifting in this cosmic wake, it hides, it shies, it cries.
                    Like me, it knows when to pipe the **** down and listen to the world.
        Listen to everything it allows.

     It hears souls like you.
                                 It feeds me.


Feedback,
I've got my need back

Shaking like a lovesick
fiend

On every letter of your speech

I'll filter this wormhole
off kilter
into every relationship
in front of my eyes

Until we meet again,

I won't stop telling stories
of jackals speaking english

To fetch our sweet meat
from top shelves
and ruins

Blue and bruised
flesh alludes
to stories unspoken

and broken glass
dreams of unity

Bottle falls

Slow motion

It all seems
like a dream
in endless blue
love tokens

The body I hold is hanging in the balance,
Each breath wracking through lifeless air.
The hollowness that expands from his lifeless eyes,
Burning when my eyes are shut.

As if untouched by the twine of fate,
Existing but not living breathing but not waking.
The icy thuds of an unnatural heart,
Making those softer sounds quaver into absence.

As if by sheer chance my strings are pulled,
my lips lower to touch those of the dead.
At contact time stands still,
The thudding stops.

The lips take on a rosey pink,
Mirroring the sentiment of every second.
As if aching to understand.
As if terrified to forget.

The fear awakens and the hurt rolls out,
Trembling down limp limbs and shoulders.
Hushing into a steady rock,
With promises that my strength won't give.

Purpose is gifted with a single kiss,
and like a rose I watch it grow.
In vibrance and strength the body will glow.
Till the day he finds his voice.

When words will tumble onto life,
and bind the solace and the strife.
Gift gold in band and my love for you,
with the simple promise to always cherish, love and hold you.

When morning comes
Visitor in the night
Fateless commitment
Forgive me
Unwritten
Going all out
Written on the skyline
By candlelight.

Of course we’re born sad little creatures!
To be born, we had to have the picture
broken & bursted—for, being born, we’re
fragments of it. (But not just us born—all
of it that’s born…all of it’s fragments.)
Us, though, we found out about the pieces
(and that we’re them) so shock-hearted and
weary-eyed we joggle ourselves around,
and waggle and babble (because we can move
and talk to the other pieces, like you) in the
sedulous task of trying to see what picture we all
formed before we were born and to see
if we can’t form it again while born and living.
And, also, inexorably, to see like fateless
naked goggling chicken-children what part
we have—is it a sun’s ray, a cloud’s feather, a
grass blade, or is it just the indistinguishable
shade of unctuous bole that’s laid there
almost smeared in between? I’m not quite sure,
our tabs seem flexible enough, and to add
we’re whimsy little interlockers, so no wonder
we’ve been going on billions of years now.
At this point it’s probably give-up or never-end,
and both options, frankly, seem quite abominable.
I wonder if that’s what it says on the box,
right above “meant for children” and “small
parts dangerous choking hazard.” But the
question is what to do when you’ve realized a
piece has been missing, always been missing,
and probably more. (Oh, and for after, you can
ask if it was never put there in the first place,
and why)—do you just imagine, then? I mean,
just that—just imagine the whole thing, after all
the fuss been going on to hold hands and make it out?
I’m telling you, I bet the sucker is something else
entirely, like something I don’t even know what,
but different—crazy different, I bet. And it’s
probably why they didn’t want to include it,
those ponzies—we wouldn’t choke on that one.
Not that piece. Still, though, I hope it says on the box.
I hope it at least tells you something on the box.
Wait, where’s the box? What box?

The strings once bound me, though their tale I despised,
For freedom I longed, my own story devised.
So I pulled the threads and broke my chains,
At last, I was fateless, but freedom brought pains.

I watched as my destined tale turned to dust,
The heavens quaked, and hell’s gates ******.
But with arrogance, I shook my head,
I denied them both and forged my stead.

The angels mocked, the demons sneered,
For now, I belonged to no tale they revered.
Yet fear took root, though still I dared,
Clinging to stories, of others I shared.

I stole their pieces, made them mine,
In the shadows of fate, I dared to shine.
Indeed, I’ve become what they all proclaim—
The fateless being, untamed by name.

Defense and apprehension keeps me
Should i mention this immense, ascending feeling reaping me?
The reeling out of sight
bright, shining at the sight if you.
You shine for me
You shine on me
I'd be hardly known, uneasily and seemingly roam, not free form from room to room, in and out an unavoidable
unavailable vacancy of gloom.
In bloom, my flowering budless, aweless, awfully lawful, peer-free, though id cease to be not flawless.
I want nothing more than this.
God i want you
I need you to feel what i have when i see you see me feeling you. I love you.

Seldom do we find our own reality gnawing at the right door
Senseless guise and fruitless time arrived from feeding on the wrong domain

Indecision obfuscating want and need
Imploring absolution as an only means to achieve hope
Begetting desolation is the end result in spite of it all

We are found, when
We let go of what was tearing down our walls
We are done, when
The lie becomes the forged duality
We are lost, when
Hopeless dreams derive from tainted purity

Love is not a way to seek reprise
The heart demands a sacrifice of old
Each new dawn beseeches zero compromise

We either live long enough to see our desires through and die alone without surmise

Or we strive to push through all the insalubrious conjecture long enough to see what's true

Sanctity, depravity, hand in hand echoing
Peace does not become the solution until chaos has its way without vision
We see ourselves wrought through trial of flame
Burnt by years of decimating neglect, impoverished longing for what soul would embrace our own

I see you, and I see the sun; blinding impressions waking every eye closed by incessant deception

I seek you, and I feel the earth beneath my soles; through embodied disposition, resonating "you have begun the right direction"

I feel you, and I feel a place to call my own

I want you, and I find peace of mind to  extricate the withering denial of prior disappointment

I need you, we feel the stark contrast of what was and begin anew

I want to spend my time and effort creating stronger paths that lead us to where we both desire to go

And the rest is misery
Fiery contemplation
Delerious disposition
An exposé of all we aren't
Indecision left at the crest of dawn
Seething repitiore in words and meaning, disdained and left to fester away from all that matters of the heart

We are strong, and the resolute sinks in

We are proud, and misery's addiction fades into oblivion

We are meant to be, savory, undeniable, absolute, fateless but reliably designed hand in hand

You are the string cut from the edge of the woven cloth, I am the seam with withered edges; our hearts the hands that begin to write anew the chapter which binds our ties; our shared strength lies in the knots we bound

Suffer never again
Cry never alone
Waste no time nor effort
Be as one to behold

We are living apart, together
Someday soon, we live as one
We forge sanctuary beyond all weather
In due time, our strife be done

You are my revelry
You are my empathy
You are my fateless waltz into the unknown
You are my dawn, my night, my favored tone
You are my heart
You are my warmth
You are the glow with which I have to guide my path
You are my undeniable way home

But do you feel a semblance?...

Oh, my heart
how did you find me in the dark?

Was it the stark white
shine of my bones
through my chest?

I wasn't really trying to do a
"Someone stole my heart" cliche-
                      It just fit in that way,

and I'm not sure if I'm saying
what I need to say or just
rhyming needless words and verbs
like needles swimming threadless
in something they never meant to sew

So, here we are.

I've done my best to stay hidden,

I've ridden inky tides
on moonless nights

Lost fights with myself
and won a few

And for a while I smiled
When I thought of me
and didn't think of you

And it was fine,
so fine

To live like someone
who hasn't had their head
cracked open by primordial
forces and the odds
of gods and goddesses

To be honest,
I never thought I'd promise this

But to you, my nameless, shapeless
faceless, fateless companion. . .

I'll walk with you forever,
even if we never get back home

and I won't accept a stand-in

This man is a whirlwind, unwilling to be bent or crafted, instead shifting all by his vicious lonesome.

the boldest sliver

of a tortured soul,

floating --aimless-- in her tempting sea,

will never fully grasp his

need to be whole but—fateless—

and  kept within naivety.

still,  it seems that,

her  honeyed deep

always had a way of making this

lost man feel --weightless--.

I am the conduit
When feelings hit, they strike deep
Like lightning, unfathomable strength More fleeting than the jaded moments
It comes to fade like shallow breaths
But the scars remain
Reminding me of a forever, lost

Misspelled shadows
A creeping psalm of hope
I am the line crossed
I am the light lost
I am the entity that can't be found
Scorned by solemn apathy
I become the withered and unbound

Ransom unjust fate
Just to feel okay by yourself
You are the silence I seek
Courageous and unfettered by longing
My love seethes in empty corridors
Wandering past each frame of mind
Doorways leading to crippled lines

Threads unjust, no beginning or end
This woven featurette is yours to weep
Watch me dance hollowly on screen
Stepping over each piece of glass
Like the ghostly waltz of yesteryear
Find me there, underneath the crown of hate

I am the conduit
I am the fateless misery you strive to hate
Strike me down, fell my cause
Bring me to my knees
Misery seems to be my favorite mistake
The taste of your lips a listless waste

Into the night I seek
The silhouette of chance,
Black merges into white
A flight of dances
Step into the light
To erase the shadows
Of a man
Whose face over voice
In melancholic range
Now weeps beneath dreams
Of reckless prose
eager to know the birth
Of another dawn
In the arms and wings
Of past future strides…

The deadly dark of the
Running night
Is everywhere in sight
From bars to bedrooms
Juxtaposing
Each irreverent line of
Tomorrows yet to come
But has nothing to offer
That is of consequence

Forget the deranged sorrow
I say
Night has its blessings for sale
Turn your head to this side
And derail the empty wail
A breathtaking flight
Is a plight that is borrowed
From fateless time

Oh aphrodisiac nights
When the heart seals
The worldless spirit
I caress your face
With the touch of my mind,
I have known these moments before
When the throat runs dry
And feelings are high…
A song is conceived
By the magical sighs
Born to grow
With the sweet breath
Of love
Night blossoms
And withers into morn
The stars swoon
In the slumber of the moon
Maybe again
Your face will I see
As the creatures of mystery
Celebrate their
Change of colors
Outrageously
Into the night…..

Always just seems to encompass so little now a days. like forced nevers that started out strong but ended up limping out the mouth. making every time after falling short of the finish line, crutchless and wounded. turning the next encounter to reruns that have burned itself into view of the latter. Passively predicting the loop but doing little to alter the fateless. because popcorn needs to eaten just as shows are made to be watched. we are all tuned to the same channel, just in different brightness settings. then given the option to search for the remote control that will remain absent. we're told that the search will bare  the fruit desired. and even though it is common knowledge now as to where the path leads and ends. for it was thine own ****** hand that placed the final stone. a ******* in the making. for the only other word to describe such behavior Is insanity. whether it is a question or a statement is beyond the threshold of what im willing to spend time thinking about. even though my thought process is rarely my own and i wouldnt really call us friends either. for if my thoughts betray me why would i give others a privileged that i am not qualified to give away. was there a day in my in my redacted childhood that wont raise its hand when i do roll call. one that warned me, trained me even to Not react but preemptively parry the blows that i would soon take full force. Pretending that its the smoke caressing and constricting the lungs and not the constant sucker punch to the only blind spot left. at this point, neglect works just as well as chasing an unattainable figment. that in my opinion. is far too real and even less tangible.

a smiling terrain
i hope you're happy
im taking myself back
begging my heart for a break has been far too incompleted
your grey walls and titanium windows have kept me down, haven't they?
your watermelon grin is fateless and faultless and i hope to God it never goes away
but when it does--remember to love?
thank you for hurting me and making me weaker
i definitely might've needed it
be joyful
i will be too!

Trembling he follows the being
Striding through the night
Mumbling he speaks
His heart pounding
Forward.
Firmly he stiffens
His eyes wide
Grimly he grimaces
He knows the budgets tight
Shuffling, each step scraping across the divide
Struggling to grip that which doesnt leave his side

Coherently it proclaims
We have almost arrived
Feverently he protests
I nearly have it defined
Distinguished but in jest
You dont have a choice

In time my kind will hold your voice
We will hoist the strings
Puppeteering the mind

We will shine
Bright
Brilliant
Boundless
Soundless
Mindless
Soulless
Fateless
A disgrace to us
Claimed our cage
In the last age
Now centre stage
A guide to the book
The egos playmate

Ignorance is bliss so I learn slow.
Resistance is my M.O.
Don't get ****** when I act like my IQ's low.
Going bananas with monkeys
means my imagination is in nature.
Behold all I've nurtured.
I've engaged in guerrilla warfare
with knowledge for ages. It's fateless.
So what does this mean for my later pages?..

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
****, I've relapsed.
Encouraged another darting spark synapse.
My brain grew by storm of truth
then floated into the past.

A bowl has the most potential empty: the enlightened fast.
So why bother learning anything?

Ever linger oh so everlasting luster
Pale seas cover unto place colorful feathers of flight cower
Sun brewed light filters mists, lustifying hopes unplundered
Lives be ****** by damnation lest clustered

Fluttering windless, countless voiceless motionless flow
Lest be retained unto thee unending end, no thread, no glow
Taken by chains of bewildered endless fateless endeavors
No less lest countless longing birds of death steal eyes of flowers

Precious shape of pure harmonious symphony taken not stolen
Numbered by prickling roses, flowering and flowing, time of red broken
Reverse thy thoughts, revise that right, recite thy lines, regret that night
No tears were shown only shapes of light, not flickering, ever so bright

Feathers of flight left the seas, not to the sky yet to the light
Morning light bless the ones that had been mourned infested with blight
Not but a single feather fell into the mortal coffin, resounding:
"Regress thou now heart cold yet undying."

Treachery is unbecoming,
fateless without grace,
my betrayal becomes itself,
loses itself within my space.

I begin to carbon date myself,
but surrounding stone cold hearts have no charity,
comparison of the self, to see if I have expired,
it lacks vital sanctity.

Thus, I pray to the moon,
when sky shelters pitched night alone,
the nameless hear my croons,
but their humanity does postpone.