Being so removed from what you made me,
Time moves so slowly.
Not quite grasping the truth of anything.
Each breath catching like a barb,
Pulling a little bit more of my soul with each Labour.
Around me the air is thick,
Bogged with imagined snow.
Freezing those that see me to the spot,
Captured in the void with me unable to flee.
You appear to me in my madness.
“Hush my wounded prince,
May my lips grant you clarity”
Stunned silence and unbidden tears.
I deny you,
You died an eon ago.
Unbound from your shell.
You dance on the cracks of my broken mind.
Search for the warmth in artificial light,
Bathing in the chill desperately consuming every flicker.
Pushing against invisible walls to flex your wings,
To embody your full potential.
Pulled prone each limb crippled and bent to serve a purpose so perverse.
Whilst those holding the key drink blood red wine,
Drained from every effort you exert.
the feral power of desperation rucking down every nerve.
The power coursing inside threatens to break,
But unable to break your bonds you simply break your mind.
Laying used and broken,
Unable to respond to the kiss of kindness.
Broken eyes staring into your liberators,
With total disconnection to the solitary tear rolling down your face.
Freedom comes too late,
It comes when any lust for life is spent.
You lay in Liberations arms as she desperately tries to claw back what is lost,
She nustles you close to her breast caressing the lank and ruined wings.
Feathers fetid defiled and broken.
"What world is this that even our angels are enslaved in despair."
You told yourself you have felt love,
But all you did was hide from the sharp edges.
In sickness you clogged the pain with impassioned kisses,
But it doesn’t erase the grey crawling across your skin.
I can’t kiss away the aging and dying,
This isn’t a fairytale my lips cannot wake you.
Tear stained and wounded pouring out every invocation,
To make your words turn true,
To bring your heart to a redder hue,
Wishing above all else my heart can accept the truth.
You live in monotone that is ever darker,
I live in colour but only when I’m lying with you.
The light is out,
The candle snuffed.
Never to wake to your kiss again.
"Sweetheart its time to wake,
Shake off the sleep and remember me."
The outline where i once slept,
The books eratic and unkept.
A weight in his memory,
Pulls him from the duvet.
As reality in his mind unfurls.
In perfection he stands so proud,
My Adonis so beautiful even in sorrow,
"I heard you again,
Like you never left me"
I watch as his hands cover his eyes,
Gently i guide them back down.
"Never hide your pain,"
His breath catches in his chest.
"I know you are here...."
"...And here i will always be....,"
".....Guiding me always......"
"...Till first light comes..."
Before the final trace of night,
I leave my waking kiss.
Heart breaking for every moment i have missed.
"Remember me Adonis,
As i vowed to you,
Every morning i will be here to wake you,
To love you and cherish you till the gods light does finally take you."
Ask of my Devotion just a single question.
Holding the pen at the ready,
Hesitant to put my thoughts into words.
To put them into life would be irreversible.
Like a sorcerer corrupted by what he wields,
the words burn onto my vision.
I see them on every surface daring me to release them.
dare I question Devotions ownership of me?
Almost instantly its no longer a question.
But a statement of hate filled defiance.
I will make Devotion serve me,
Bind her so tightly to my fatigued mind,
Make her pay for the time I gave her!
Know one and know all,
Your Devotion is mine and I crave her wildly,
Serve me fully and feel no recourse!
For in my words she is my birthright,
And dare you not question your Devotion.
For to do so is the most heinous of all crimes.
Follow her blindly and know not Reality,
For her beauty outstrips your worthiness tenfold.
Trying hard to learn to be one,
But love holds you fragile and undone.
Darkened and raw every memory leaves a mark,
And you sit at night regretting every time you tried to love.
Weaker than I once was I paid with heartbeats,
Which decayed and bruised the roaring reds.
Dulled to purple it taints every vein,
Trying hard to cleanse and savor freedom.
His memory holds like a furious fist,
Gripping my voice and holding me intimately.
Recoiling at every kiss,
Revolted by every ******.
Level stares and longing for sleep,
Mirror gazing assessing the damage.
This time it was only bruises,
Next time it may be brakes.
Feeling imprisoned in a soulless maze.
Where the simplest declaration is sullied with mud.
Made to feel weak for feeling at all,
And needing anyone,
Can this really be all there is for me?
Gazing at people parading as prizes,
But insecure under **** disguises.
Every time I feel I have loved,
It is always incomplete and faceless,
Almost abhorrent to its core.
Casting an ever wider gaze,
Looking with every fibre,
For something to summon me.
I have a purpose of that I am sure,
And I will not waste myself on lying cheating ******.