"doofus" poems
I. the smell of sad
odorless colorless like ***** similar familiar sidewinder effects,
musty invasive, it has no specificity, no locale centrale, well closeted,
saddling sadding, in place, plain sighted better to toy our lives,
pervades persists, worse lingers, impervious to sprays
and even everyone’s good literature (even Will S’s),
good wishes good intentions and mood prayers
to the nearest lay god
on duty at the spiritual emergency room on weekends,
still stink
don’t think that this poem is for you; solely for the writer,
your doppelgänger ****** your mirror’s inside hiding out place,
I,
who has your sadness smell into my skin cells creepily crept
waft woof and warp wet weft-woven
into the sad receptacles hidden in my
head’s cubbies and the palms of my tree hands-covering face
there are cures so wonderful and inexpensive but unavailable
at the local Rite Aid, though they are the right aid recoverable,
so closer than close, so close that the internist
cannot prescribe them because he must inject himself first
because the live bacteria in the antidote can **** all
this odor lays down bamboo-strong roots;
to eradicate you must dig down deep,
six feet perhaps more, with heavy earth moving equipment,
uproot at the source, follow sad always all-the-way down and the root
great god gone,
but the saddest truth
stench odor yet present***
Dec 1, 2018
Dec 1, 2018 at 10:54 AM UTC
I was raised on ridicule
Scorn and blaming.
Belittling laughter
Jokes and shaming.
Though nobody who knew
Seems to doubt it
They sure as hell wish I
Would shut up about it.
That’s just the way it is today.
Abused children, it seems
Upset people; therefore they
Are best not heard, just seen.
Four Eyes, Toothpick and Brat
These are a few of the names.
You might as well call them freaks
And creeps. It amounts to the same.
Screwup, ****** fumblefingers,
Bones, Spazz and Stumblebum.
Pantywaist, wussy, ditz and then
Plenty more where those came from.
From birth to death it seems
Sometimes, throughout all of life
Some people just don’t care
That scorn can cut like a knife.
It makes people question
Every move they might make
When somebody keeps on
Calling them things like flake.
The condemnation and rebuke
Aren’t covered up by the laughter.
People should question deeply
The effect they think they are after.
So cut the kids a break
It won’t turn out wrong
And the ridicule of a child
Can last their whole life long.
Nov 5, 2015
Nov 5, 2015 at 6:02 PM UTC
god is the devil and the devil is bob
god is the devil and the devil is bob
god is the devil and the devil is bob
you see god triumphs all over poor bob
you see today bob was going to the local bowling alley to reform the messiah, you see
this person believes he is the messiah, and his mate brian was annoying the pants off him
by every time he got a strike, brian copies TV, saying, yes, there is a GOD, about 100 times
and drove the messiah nuts, saying why are you saying this, then brian got another strike
and said it again, yes, there is a god, and the next miss, brian will say 100 times , no there isn’t a god
brian never offended the messiah, but he said, yes there is a god, or no there isn’t a god about 100 times
and at the end when brian got 182 as his bowling score, brian yelled out, yes, there is a god up there
and when someone got the same score, he said, there is no god, it still drove the messiah nuts
and bob delahunty said, why are you saying he drives you nuts, he is a family person, you can
learn a lot from brian, and brian sang we are the champions, the messiah left going
god is the devil, and the devil is bob
god is the devil and the devil is bob
god is the devil and the devil is bob
GOD THE DEVIL AND THE MIGHTY BOB
bob delahunty wanted to understand the messiah, so he made brian and the messiah go to a ACT Brumbies game
and brian filled with the simpsons lines in his head, went go brumbies, go brumbies, and when they dropped the ball
brian yelled out we stink we stink we stink, and it happened again, the brumbies ran up the field with brian saying
go brumbies go brumbies go brumbies go, and they dropped the ball, and brian said we stink we stink we stink
and the messiah, who has bionic hearing said, the two islanders behind us, said, why does he keep doing that
and brian said, he was copying frankie j holden on TV, or trying to be the GOOFY homer simpson, which to brian’s
opinion is cool, it was the messiah that has the problem, and the messiah walked away saying
god is the devil and the devil is brian
god is the devil and the devil is brian
god is the devil and the devil is brian
god the devil and annoying old brian
and then bob delahunty decided to follow brian and the messiah around, and it seemed brian had a point
every time the messiah had problems, he would yell out, GOD DOESN’T WANT ME TO HAVE ******* FUN EVER IN MY LIFE
and the messiah would say that again and again, saying god doesn’t want me to that or this or every fucken thing
you see, the messiah wanted to live with some old soccer mates, better than brian because he was a total ****** and brian
said, i am not a ****** i am trying to be nice to you, allowing to go to the coast together, and to the movies
and you still say, and making me say god doesn’t want me to have fun ever in my life, and bob gave brian the messiahs drug to
help him beat the ****** in him, and stop that silly thing to say of god doesn’t want me to do that, it forced brian’s best school mate
ripping into brian’s head after hearing he is a buddhist, saying sit there, buddha doesn’t want you to go on the computer
and i told that voice, buddha wants me to join the next generation, which is better than being a ****** saying, if i eat a banana
god will punnish my family, and force people into rioting with one another, brian knows they wanna party, and bob told the
messiah, the way to make you better dear child, is split this friendship, ok, so the messiah walked away singing
god is the devil and the devil is bob
god is the devil and the devil is god
god is the devil and the devil is god
GOD THE DEVIL AND MY MATE OLD CHUM BOB
god is the devil and the devil is god
god is the devil and the devil is god
god is the devil and the devil is bob
god the devil and BUDDHA AND THE JEWS, makes bobs day really complete
Feb 17, 2015
Feb 17, 2015 at 3:57 AM UTC
(sung to "If I Only Had a Brain/Heart/Courage" song from the Wizard of Oz)
I'm a ****** ***********
altho I seem quite merry,
I am always causing strife.
I've a rot for a banana,
But I'd smoke the whole Havana,
if I only had a LIFE!
I just love to cause division,
By other's lives derision,
I'll cause gossip to be rife!
It don't matter! I am toothful,
I don't claim to be that truthful,
If I only had a LIFE!
I would love ta get ta know ya,
But I smoke like Krakatoa,
You could cut it with a knife.
I will put it in my ashtray
And conclude another entry
if I only had a LIFE!
I've no girlfriend, it don't matter,
I'm as loony as a hatter,
I will never have a wife.
I've a teeny weeny shooter,
Can't make love to my computer,
IF I ONLY HAD A LIFE!!
SoulSurvivor
(C) 12/20/2015
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 3:22 PM UTC
When I'm coffee deprived; it's bad, I know it,
My ****** comes out, I'm bound to show it,
Was trying to favorite that poem for so long;
Hit the wrong button, something went wrong-
Then I added myself as a favorite poet.
Mar 13, 2010
Mar 13, 2010 at 7:07 AM UTC
the reason why mr bean has problems
is he is a doofuss, top see the men ditched him because his nye party is
jus vinegar and tree twigs, how weird is that
the reason why the kids teased him at the pool
is because he was such a ****** making it all the way to the top
and then being scared nd climbing down
the reason why his girlfriend ditched him at xmas
is because instead of a ring, he gave her a picture of a man giving a woman a ring
and a hook and mr bean is a ****** because when he was
moving the hole in the wall, he didn’t ****** well check it
another thing that makes mr bean a ****** is the real world
you see at least i pay my way, mr bean is too much of a ****** to pay his way
and another thing that makes mr bean a ****** is at the putt putt golf course
he listened too much to the golf man as he followed the ball around town
i like mr bean teasing the men, but at the hotel there was truth in the matter
that teasers only win the battle, they never win the war because at the hotel
everyone was teasing poor old mr bean
and i liked him teasing the christian man in church, that was fun
mr bean was a ****** there, because he doesn’t look at it as teasing
his character has autism, and autistic people need to be watched
mind you mr bean was a TV character, but still, all guns blazing if we put him in the real world
he does remind me of myself, but i wasn’t that much of a ******
i was just a filthy kid, i am REFORMED OR BETTER TAKE YOUR PICK
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 4:16 AM UTC
East of the Equator on 1° 15' tropics is an old pirate isle
Irate willy-wavers are set to meet, I repeat, on Santosha
where, if you know it by its sanskrit, they might reconcile
Wishful leaders play symbolic. To us are none, but frenzy frolic.
Rudy doubles a pretty sight when smart cookie crumbles
to his knees. The apprentice, a fake gansta has capitulated to
Trump who's known to expostulate his lot of twitterati
oh, the wizard of sentences, cut the circuit and paparazzi.
Rocket man says read my lips, so Dotard threatens bigger drips
Both gaga over trigger hands, like-a-virgin on hot dozen buttons.
Ain’t it a saga, they goatherd each other on, so call in Dennis to
get us out of the funk. Just maybe, a remote chance, a fun slam-dunk!
The world awaits with bated breath, the immovable anchors to a
bad romance. We're stuck for answers to translate two gyrate minds,
singing hits a-capella under nuke umbrella. No tanning spray and
pray please or death-from-behind us all, the wrench of humankind.
At 34, Prince has just begun life, to see his people starving to die
At 71, ****** has a life doing what he does, while waiting to die
Chasms miles long, but cookie cutter share tall man phantasm
94 stories high towards disarming God in their own ego suites.
Gurkhas and gazetted city blocks, the people in uttered groans
All twitterpating over a hermit throne dancing to a jailhouse rock
Two bright like buttons, so zero sum bargains may cost an arm and
an earth - nuclear glutton! Not a far gains from your usual Target?
At St Regis in gather, string theories of riddles to Lord of the Rings
Towkays at the table “Order! Order!” no one absquatulates at all borders
In shambhala, will it be “Big and Bold” or “Beg and Hold”, who knows
Except Goldenhair, in first minute - Upside or Upset of an F1 ride!
Jun 10, 2018
Jun 10, 2018 at 2:01 AM UTC
1 laugh at his fingers while he struggles.
Klimt consumer relationship 2. Time -
This is very important for the future.
The game is it? Seattle, United States,
New York, United States, New York,
New York 222 120 600 Russia, In the face of the United States in February,
with 2 of his father and others; Cicero York, Lord Jesus!
The New York Times will be Heavy;
Cheng 100, April 2, R222? In April, the same thing.
Experience experience in the United States, sir, Seattle,
New York, State University of New York, Russia 600 222 ...
Great Britain and the United States, the letters;
Now the image and climatic conditions
to avoid turning green. Egg and a half, and Klimt.
2 conference. However, all achieved.
Music World Music Seattle, New York, United States,
New York, New York; Museum 222 120 600
United States and Russian Banks on December 2
and Levinsky. Jesus Hiram time to time in Chengdu,
Consumers April 2, SR 222, April
Health and safety for the council 222 and 225
Musix Award for connections to Seattle, New York,
United States, Great Britain and the United States.
The grief; We see it now in England to help Tazer
the ****** Four thumbs and their great toes cut off.
Galaxy, 2 communications. cooperation
But we do not reach a consensus;
With music? Seattle, USA, New York, United States,
New York, New York Museum 222 120 600 Russia,
governed. December 2, post and many others.
York Cicero, Jesus! The New York Times WITT's
Heimie Cheng Du, no one, April 2, 222 from the customer
Manage and maintain in April. Museum using a banana.
In the United States, sir, Seattle, New York,
The game in New York, Russia 600 222 ...
The Latin American and in the United States;
Such a large unit and honor. Only a quarter of Klimt
2 conference. And yet. There is no agreement
as to what happened to the character of song? US
Seattle, New York, United States, New York,
New York; Museum 222 120 600 United States
and Russia Page 2 December, the Pope and other fellow Yalies.
Oh, Jesus, The New York Times, Witt Heimer Chengdu,
R. G, Feb 2, 222 customers. April care and maintenance.
The Museum Center to enjoy a bonus.
The most important city in the United States is Seattle,
New York, News York University, Russia 600 out of 222 members ...
The Latin American and in the United States;
With rods which increases towards the exploration.::
Oct 21, 2018
Oct 21, 2018 at 7:07 PM UTC
Elusive, but far from intrusive, if
You asked me to describe him.
When you had his attention,
You were his sole focus.
“Attention must be & was being paid,”
Mr. Miller’s words immortal,
Arthur’s epitaph for Willie,
Little Man Willie Loman,
Wee Willie, Willie Loman,
The punch line you expected:
“Exact, demanding & deserved.”
But, ah . . .
Elusive flake flits on,
Leaving you speechless,
Verklempt, inhabiting a
Dry and drooping,
Dark and dreary
State of ****** . . .
(If you dig, my Edgar.)
In short, he is sorely missed.
Marvin Gaye - I'll Be Doggone Lyrics | MetroLyrics
www.metrolyrics.com/ill-be-doggone-lyrics-marvin-gaye.html MetroLyrics/ Blowing my money all over this town. Then I wouldn't be doggone. Hey, hey, I'd be long gone. Then I wouldn't be doggone. I'd be long gone. Now hey, hey, hey . . . (Thank you, Louie--my agent who sells ad space in my poems. The poet, for once, rejecting the die in the gutter, art for art’s sake career track, making poetry pay for a change.)
Simply put:
He’s no longer here or there,
“He wouldn’t be gone long.
He’d be long gone.”
Not just emptiness.
Absence.
Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014 at 12:56 PM UTC
I am drawn to the human subject.
It is people & their stories that interest me.
The explorer more than geography;
The ichthyologist.
Not his fish.
The doofus-clod washed away.
Not the sea.
I am involved in mankind.
It is people who envelope me.
Who ring my bell, so to speak,
Tolls for me.
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 24, 2015 at 10:59 PM UTC
Call out the demons, rearrange the seedlings
Commentaries read to command
Spead out ****** it's the doing of ones hands
Shift slits in steely aperture wholly fail to capture
Awake from your nap now sir.
Apr 14, 2013
Apr 14, 2013 at 6:03 PM UTC
Once, an old man told me he had learned the meaning of life.
I told him I didn't want to know.
It should really haunt me to this day that I never heard his solution,
but he was kinda a ******
And fat.
Mar 30, 2012
Mar 30, 2012 at 1:30 PM UTC
Give up waiting, doofus. It's so much easier when you don't give a hoot and nothing's happening anywho.
(sonnet #MMMMMMCCCCLXVI)
I've been reciting for--was that--intents?
How lo, my cousins' kids are in betrayl
Nigh grown, who were so little on that scale
Ten years agone, when I last for good sense
Saw these, or pictures of the same to fence
Some fam'ly shindig with all to avail
Whatever, me an old maid yet sans bail,
Til hopes look quite askance without defense.
Joe is attractive ah, beyond as twere
The dreams I've known, a dream anon come true.
If only now we could be all we stir,
Have children of our own, lo that would do.
Well, be together in yes, love, endure
To death thus, and have kids: what's I love you?
01Jul17b
Jul 12, 2017
Jul 12, 2017 at 8:03 PM UTC
2016. University is finally over.
No more morning and night classes,
No more fear of failure or low passes,
I'm finally graduating this year,
Hasn't been long but felt forever,
Especially this past year.
From here on it'll get better.
Give love a chance,
Find a little romance,
Find a stable job ,
Don't be a snob,
And keep true to being you.
You are you and no matter how tough thing gets,
You always pick yourself back up.
Now go have a great final year at Uni.
Before the goodbyes and the cries,
Remember the one friend always by your side,
Yes her. Yes you know her. Yes you feel things for her,
Don't tell her...it seems to creep people out.
Don't ever be clouded with doubt,
Also call your uncle up he told you to go work with him remember.
Finally the university years is behind me,
Been a long ride.
Thanks to the people who was with me on the ride....
Smile more you ****** it's a good year for us.
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 7:29 AM UTC
The brown mound of earth
slightly elevated
to support the tree
the children played with
but our parents hated.
The big old gnarly thing
outer skin
always barking
rough against
my young flesh,
but I still climbed it.
The thick branch
that hung out
and let me lay back
to read a book
in privacy,
despite the threat
of gravity.
The way I relaxed
free from all below
an unobtrusive
lonely ******
who was outside
to escape
the black hole
of a home
where darkness reigned.
The pleasant wooden memory
like a ship at sea
which carried me
to my present
where all those
childhood dreams
are obscured
by time’s
unalterable course.
Nov 28, 2018
Nov 28, 2018 at 11:00 AM UTC
what the hell is this 'oof' ****
i want to bond with my son,
but i still don't know what a 'boof' is.
my son is vindictive; is 'fort-night' addictive?
fuck's sake, i feel like a ******
Dec 3, 2018
Dec 3, 2018 at 1:15 PM UTC