lets go to a club, pleaded dan. no thanks,
i resisted. not my thing. but please, it'll be a good time, he insisted
and anyway you're lonely, i know.
no im not, i told him, but i was and so we go.
while my pal chats up a pretty gal, i wait
for him to finish, sipping a bit at my drink
and soon sipping loads; my self esteem erodes
within the first few minutes
and by the end, when their flirting's spent,
is entirely diminished. no luck? he comes back
as though he ******* cares -
i feel the world folding in on itself
like an hunchback, or a lawnchair. i rise,
and punch him between the eyes.
hey, what the ****? he said,
but he didn't even stumble.
he didn't even tumble.
then he bashed my head against
the wall and watched me crumble
to the floor, no more, no more, no more
"but what the **** man," he said, again
I'm lonely, i said, i'm lonely, dan
i'm lonely and in need.
he pulls me up by my shirt:
"no, you're just fat and
full of alcohol and greed."
at first I was hurt for a long time, for
many years, i disappeared
into myself because i knew
that he was right. and when i go
one day, swiftly into the light
i lose my virginity up in heaven
to an angel ******. **** man,