(sung to "If I Only Had a Brain/Heart/Courage" song from the Wizard of Oz)

I'm a ****** *******,
altho I seem quite merry,
I am always causing strife.
I've a rot for a banana,
But I'd smoke the whole Havana,

if I only had a LIFE!

I just love to cause division,
By other's lives derision,
I'll cause gossip to be rife!
It don't matter! I am toothful,
I don't claim to be that truthful,

If I only had a LIFE!

I would love ta get ta know ya,
But I smoke like Krakatoa,
You could cut it with a knife.
I will put it in my ashtray
And conclude another entry

if I only had a LIFE!

I've no girlfriend, it don't matter,
I'm as loony as a hatter,
I will never have a wife.
I've a teeny weeny shooter,
Can't make love to my computer,

IF I ONLY HAD A LIFE!!


SoulSurvivor
(C) 12/20/2015