"calculative" poems
Places where we go and free our headspace,
spreading our hands and feeling the raindrops.
It felt like an unique amalgamation of fright, fury and pure joy.
Fright of all the obligations barged on the soul.
Fright of not being with the right people at the right time.
Fright of falling on our own feet.
Round & round on the playground,
with an overwhelming typsy feeling.
The joy of sliding on the slippery dip,
touching the sky hanging on the swing.
The breeze touching the feet, playing with the hair & ticking the ears, until we fear to fall on the ground.
The alarming feeling of how precious our life is.
The joy of constantly working on ourselves to improve in life.
The joy of keeping ourselves first.
The joy of not missing out & living in the moment;
The joy of emphatic long conversations,
The joy of selfless efforts with no expectations.
The joy of doing the right things,
always at an unsuitable time;
The joy of being intutive over calculative.
The joy of spending fruitful earnings;
& believing in karma.
Feeling no need to explain our way of doing things
& doing what makes us feel good about ourselves.
Absolute joy of not being too hard on ourselves.
All joyful things go wrong, because it is their job to.
We make all dreadful things right, because it is our job to.
It all makes sense now,
We must get up,
spread your hands,
feel the raindrops,
and say,
“We made it all worth.”
Aug 24, 2018
Aug 24, 2018 at 6:20 AM UTC
Behind these stone cold eyes of grey
Is a companion loyal come what may
Through the night and through day
Loyalty forbidden to go astray
Behind this unreadable ****** expression
Is a heart sculpted in unlikely fashion
Ready to love with blissful abandon
Ready to hate with gruesome passion
Behind this queer nonchalant flamboyance
Is a very well hidden calculative spirit
Very unwilling to leave life to chance
But very willing to cross the sky limit
Dec 17, 2016
Dec 17, 2016 at 1:26 PM UTC
Sins,
...
It's not as difficult & complex.
Karma,
.....
It's not as calculative & fair.
Infidelity,
.......
It's not as obscene & rare.
You simply committed the sins most common,
.........
It's me, the eldest & youngest your children,
Who bears the brunt of your sins.
Mar 7, 2013
Mar 7, 2013 at 11:09 PM UTC
#*Go write your own history
Learn the geography well
To compass the feelings
Do your geometry
The value of pi does not change
Variables and constants
Algebraic expressions
Do many experiments in the chemistry lab
Observation and inferences
Experience gained
Make sure you do your math
Be Calculative
You ought to make calculations and come to decisions
Learning languages for special skills
Expression is an art
And creative you must be*#
Mar 30, 2019
Mar 30, 2019 at 2:15 PM UTC
The city, alive
feel
the beat of its
pulsing heart
in your hands
inhale
the air it breathes;
it heaves
abandoned desires
melancholy sighs
immerse
yourself into its
hollowed alleyways
concealed by
shadows of
wandering footsteps
trace
crevices of
every brick
a canvas for
misguided souls
who live for
art and cigarettes.
The city, alive
deceit lies
in calculative eyes
designed to
lure you in
with every blink.
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015 at 2:22 PM UTC
I plunge my fists deep into the cavity beside your heart
oh then I scream as thou pristine hands are painted red, for
my knowledge's a disposition, my loving's an addiction,
I may be tightly knit but my mind's fraying at the edge,
I felt myself caring, when I thought it no longer could be
my warped obsession with you
gave me something to think about, and queerly set me free -
alas my pastimes remained
a quandary to the twisted and deranged
through the eyes of a calculative Psychopath
I am cursed to forever see,
yes I know what to feel, I know what to say
but don't be fooled, I'm a living masquerade and I care not for you in any way -
oh I'll buy you a coffee, take you to a room and please you there -
but then the twitches start, as I rip the sultry fabric
from your skin, grab handfuls of your velveteen hair,
oh you'll be petrified, you'll freeze
as I finally unveil the insanity that I strive to appease -
in full swing and oblivious to the pain
revelling in the serendipity that is my disease
I'll take you for all you are, and all your worth,
then I'll swiftly **** you
and leave your body bleeding upon the hearth -
strolling casually into the dying sun,
smiling as the day collapses and begins to fold -
a horrific sight enough
to make one's blood run cold.
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 3:54 AM UTC
I know that
There is always an end to road
but that leads to another road
Red line that ceases sun shine
but that declares yet another scene: night
Spring that declares an end of two seasons
but that acts as a warning of yet another harsh season
I know there is always an end
but that is in fact another beginning
I am aware of all world of wisdom & facts
I am pretty much logical and calculative person
But with you
every logic fades
every calculation is wrong
I know you're long gone
and may be I am going through 5 stages of grieve
But I am incapable of forgetting
incapable of leaving even an ounce of feelings
incapable of forgetting every word you ever uttered
incapable of unloving you
incapable of not missing you
incapable of letting you go even though I have never intended to hold on
incapable of figuring out that how can you be no one to someone like that
Why is it so unfairly painful to bear!!
Jul 7, 2016
Jul 7, 2016 at 5:21 AM UTC
I find it disturbing that,
When God created man,
The wise Lord gave us Maths.
But we became calculative and used it to keep tabs.
He also gave us Languages,
But we too found ways to be ****** and rude.
Strangely, he gave us Science,
Thinking that it would improve our world,
But all we did, was try to disprove him.
Oddly, he created Technology,
For awhile, that worked well,
But even with that,
It now tries to replaces the very humans that he created,
With scraps of metal.
Are we truly on a one way street to destruction?
Why...
Mar 3, 2017
Mar 3, 2017 at 11:11 AM UTC
We don’t talk now
I understand you are busy
Surprisingly, my mind doesn’t plead
Your memories to not become a history
My feelings for you play silently
Arousing everything but sadness
And I wonder why there is no void
Why I don’t feel cramped
Even with your reflection’s occupancy
With you as my guide
I discovered the greatness of brains and numbers
Honestly, I still feel the awe of it
For what use are skills and experiences, if not appreciation
I have known being a source of your pride
But how come there is such detachment at your end
May be your sources kept expanding to the extent
That I became a lost fraction of even thousands
You gave me your clothes when I was soaked
Laughed and gave me directions when I got lost on the road
Gave me the stage to show, and to answer
I helped your daughter cross French and English waters
But I couldn t help her with German
How could I draw a map, when I didn't know the land
So I was kicked to the curb, to never be contacted
You told me to not become a calculator
But I don't remember ever being calculative
And I never held anything against you For the free and reasonable me would never approve
Teachers like you are still the reason
I like to be a student, through and through.
May 13, 2020
May 13, 2020 at 1:45 AM UTC
My heart aches a thousand times more
Each time my mind wanders.
It is the voices that rage me.
I hold my chair tight till it tattoos marks on my palm.
Because of you, because of your *****
Your ******* ******** worshipping the ************* blue ******
You have made me so jaded.
The naivete that I carried on my sleeve,
The sweet innocence looking forward to wonderful,
The trust I invested in total strangers,
The belief that there was good in every mankind,
All lies. I am now blinded by brutality and deceit.
I lost trust and I lost God. Both never existed.
How manipulative, calculative you were.
Not to mention your sister-bitch, who later became your own concubine,
How she'd tricked me, lured me into believing every move.
I nodded, smiled and laughed along with the deceit.
All along a big *** knife was ****** into my back.
Who knew backstabbing was your favourite sport.
Shalini Nayar
© 2005
Sep 23, 2014
Sep 23, 2014 at 9:07 AM UTC
While living in Berlin
I dreamt for Sanghai,
when crossing the river,
Never sail, tempted to fly.
What is there in mind
seldom comes out of mouth,
Say yes with emphasis
When clouded with doubt.
Treading for north
And thinking of south,
while talking of peace
Often I shout.
When hate is in heart
Then soft is response,
Always calculative
cautious of pros-cons.
Pulling the water
when out of a well,
Am enjoying in mind
A flower and smell.
Aspiring for love
and desiring for life,
Spending life as if
a planned strife.
Who is this man
"Amitabh" I thought,
Replied my mind
I am, I am not.
Ajay Amitabh Suman
Nov 11, 2017
Nov 11, 2017 at 1:32 AM UTC
That flickering star has been sending Morse code. Translation turns out no definitive message but the dots and dashes are unmistakeable. Now to unscramble the letters, how to make sense of it?I know I can do it, but it will take time, a team of highly paid scientists and a lot of government funding. There was a bullfrog whose croaking had absolute calculative exhaustive expression last night. I think he should be employed on this team of scientists. I'm certain he knows something. There were moths dancing in front of my headlights where I parked by the pond. Their syncopated flutterings seemed to tell a story, though I can't be sure it was in relation to the star or bullfrog. Still, it shouldn't be ruled out.
Mar 6, 2016
Mar 6, 2016 at 2:11 PM UTC
Its been a long, long time
Cant seem to find
Any shred of peace of mind.
Thoughts invade, tranquility escapes me
Memories bombard
And reality rapes me.
Crooked steps come, close behind
A sinister trap
But I'm far from blind
A calculative maneuver, clever plot
But you've yet to taste
The hell I've brought
Bring on your best, I've faced this before
I'll go down swinging
In this ******* war.
Mar 1, 2016
Mar 1, 2016 at 9:07 PM UTC
He's finding his way back to sanity, again
Carefully trending through his shadows
desperate for changes, and starving for truth
He's still hanging by the moment he held on to.
His heart was calculative and cold
But he now sits in warm embrace.
He still knows his lovers face,
But he longs for love's new taste.
His chains have been broken
And he now walks free
He's spinning around, but hanging on tight
This time he will gracefully fall into heaven's true embrace.
Apr 25, 2014
Apr 25, 2014 at 11:42 AM UTC
Set me up for failure please
Sell me into slavery
keep practicing apathy
as a cog inside of the machine
Bombard me with redundancy
imprint me with this disease
teach me only of dependency
keep your eyes fixed upon the screen
Leave your mind idling
stay blind to everything you see
be deaf to what you are hearing
life is made for forsaking
Influence my way of thinking
following robotic dreams
keep the lemming mentality
pray to non responsive deities
Do not dare to break the mold
stay calculative and cold
unless you wish to face the scold
by those doing what theyre told
Apr 26, 2018
Apr 26, 2018 at 9:05 AM UTC
Any animal in
the forest that
suddenly decides
to develope and
grows a horn
just because of me,
will definitely finds
out that it's
horn will eventually
be used as a cup
to drink wine.
I am like
the praying mantis
that dances
before it kills.
Calm and calculative,
focused and thoughtful,
tactful and mindful,
meditative and intuitive.
But can also
be dangerous for
the praying mantis kills.
The dance steps
and movements
are hypnotic and
mesmerizing.
A little mistake
can drastically cause
you your joy
and happiness,
even your life
and be the
little storm that
turns into a
big deal that
can mess up
your life.
It's like the
***** and the
excrete of the
mythical animal
set as a bait
to catch it's prey.
But what does
it all mean.
Don't mess up
what is so
important to you
just because you
are a little
unsure of who
you are.
©2019,Emeka Mokeme. All Rights Reserved.
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 5:18 AM UTC
I fell in love with you.
The time before I knew you feels oddly incomplete
Like the universe has been conspiring
My every step so that I would take the paths leading to you.
I think I knew my entire life
That one day that I would be by your side
Laughing, smiling and inevitably falling.
I knew because you were the one in my dreams. I realize now that
You were the reason why my bones kept tingling and wouldn't settle.
I want you to know that boys like me
Are cautious and afraid to fall in love for the first time.
Boys like me are calculative and hesitant
Because we are too afraid to pay for our mistakes;
We were taught that we are only made of our successes
And that every failure will become a hidden scar
We must be careful to never repeat.
But you came and made me reckless;
I made my decisions blindly and allowed myself
To forget about everything else in the world except you.
I’d trip racing to fall asleep each night just to see you the next day,
All I’d eat was your attention to feed the butterflies in my stomach,
And all I could see were the moments we had and the future we could write.
And even when the scars became so many
That they could no longer be hidden under my clothes
I kept falling deeper and deeper in love you with.
I decided that the pain wasn’t at all bad,
That the wounds were worth every moment of your friendship.
I am envious of the me in another world who was led to you
And who is free to keep loving you, but
It gives me a grain of comfort knowing that somewhere else
You and I are happily listening to our favorite songs
On a rainy Thursday evening, happily and forever in love.
But in this world, it will only be me who falls
So painfully and deeply and foolishly and madly
And beautifully
.
In love w
ith you.
"The First" and the end of the first.
. . ~ Ankit Dubey | ©
Dec 4, 2019
Dec 4, 2019 at 3:55 PM UTC
When the intermission bell rang
A bunch of boys grinning widely
With shrewd, calculative looks
Fumbled one at front
Inquired, " Hey what's #metoo??..
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 12, 2018 at 1:54 PM UTC
(while my younger days slowly lost meaning,
as these eyes can no longer see naivety)
i've learnt the art of pure hatred way too early,
as if it was no one's wish to let me feel compassion
they taught me how to turn my love into aggression
and they promised me we would turn out just fine.
as if that's the only way to deal,
not teaching me how to feel.
a child who grew up with nothing but confusion
since the beginning, though, i knew there was an illusion.
hidden in between these late phone calls
and the lingering scent coming from his room
i was calmly waiting to bloom.
this kind of pain i've grown used to,
it has turned me into a selfish love seeker
torturing myself until i'm nothing but weaker,
and maybe that's what this demon wishes
the blindess of youth
stuck on its roots.
playing dumb is an end game
but me, too, have learnt how to turn pills into closed eyes
and how to turn love into a calculative mind.
i can't save you anymore
it doesn't matter because i never swore.
Jun 4, 2018
Jun 4, 2018 at 12:09 AM UTC