I've made so many mistakes
So much ground to cover
Trying to right my wrongs
Only to uncover another

They say you get what you give
And I know that to be true
Because I'm fighting to repair
I'm struggling to undo

All the years of negativity
Alcoholism and drugs
Making headway out of this pit
That I have quickly dug

Change comes with time
This path of correction I must follow
So much I must repair
For a better tomorrow

A little at a time, I can finally see the sun
Blinded by the brightness, from which I've always run

To stop acting like a boy
To finally become a man
And stop wallowing in my pity
To make my final stand

Against this heavy darkness
I have allowed to take control
I am ready to be better
I will not be swallowed whole.

One day I will look back
On the mess that I have made
The war to right my wrongs
To be worthy of being saved.

I lay awake, I close my eyes
I try to count those ******' sheep
I toss and turn I can not sleep
All I am.. Anxiety

Paralysis comes, I am encumbered
Forced to see you in between
This reality and the land of dreams
I cannot run I cannot scream

You play these stupid ******* games
And run away the second it rains
Leaving me alone to drown in pain
And every girl is the ******* same.

Another sun sets
I watch the night creep  
The color is ****** from the world
Vanishing before my very eyes
I crumble to my knees and beg
I wish only to be
Like the trees and houses
That vanish within
The tidal wave of darkness.

This reflection in the mirror
Is it really me?
I touch my face, he touches his face
Surely this can't be.

I remember thinking of the future
Of the man I would become
Time flew by so fast it seems
I've completely come undone.

I stare into his eyes
His dark and angry eyes..
Deep inside.. Goosebumps arise
Every tortured, desperate cry..

The past floods me so vividly
Takes the breath right out of me
Denial rears, choke back the tears
The hate pours right out of me.

In a fit of rage I strike him
I can't take this anymore
Covered in blood and void of love
He falls in pieces on the floor

I pull shards from my hands
And the rage it slowly fades
He must be me after all
His eyes share my mistakes.

Why does this always happen?
I am trapped in a loop
I can hear her laughin'

The world has lost its colorful hew
Returned to sender
Nothing new..

People say, its time to move on
But I feel so lost
I feel so wronged

I wait, forever for her to call
In this giant bed
I feel so small

Why does this always happen?
Trapped in this loop
I hear her laughin'

Hello, I am me
I love full tilt
Full time
Immensely

You blew into my life
Like a wild fire
Flames soring ever higher
Untamable

I reached through the flames
And I will never forget
Your name
Thank you

My world was cold and dark
Many nights alone
Feeling lost
You thawed my world

Life began to blossom
Feelings I thought extinct
Hit me like a plague
That I would burden always..

It is too soon
For my mouth to speak
The words I wish to..
Desperately..

Not Because I need you
To fix me..
Simply because...
You make me a better

Me..

I love you.

She will hold my hand in public
Fingers laced, Smile placed
She never backs away
When I offer her my face,

When I look into her eyes
My demons suffocate
Deep pools of baby blue
Her entire being radiates

Every time we touch
Feels like I can get no higher
She's more than a flawless face
For she is a soul on fire.


*I stole the last line from a meme