They buildin’ roads out of concrete, cover up the grass
Buildin’ roads out of concrete, cover up the grass
Roads ain’t goin’ nowhere, and concrete never lasts.

They buildin’ tall apartments, reachin’ to the sky
Buildin’ tall apartments, reachin’ to the sky
Don’t need no apartment, if I want to get up high.

They stringin’ words together, tryin’ to build a song
Stringin’ words together, tryin’ to build a song
Not sure what they’re saying, but I think that they are wrong.

They say the rain is comin’, better hide inside
Cold hard rain is comin’, better hide inside
Think I’ll just wait for sunshine, cuz I ain’t gonna hide.

They say there’s global warming, world’s gonna melt away
Say we got global warming, world’s gonna melt away
Oh but I ain’t gonna worry, meltin’ takes a couple days.

Yeah, They stringin’ words together, tryin’ to build a song
Stringin’ words together, tryin’ to build a song
Not sure what they’re saying, but I think that they are wrong.

They say that I need money, in order to survive
Say that I need some money, in order to survive
I don’t have no money, and I think I’m still alive.

And they say you gotta find a woman, if you want a happy life
Yeah you gotta find a woman, if you want a happy life
Well I think I’m pretty happy, and I don’t have no wife.

Yeah, They stringin’ words together, tryin’ to build a song
Stringin’ words together, tryin’ to build a song
Not sure what they’re saying, but I think that they are wrong.

They buildin’ roads out of concrete, cover up the grass
Buildin’ roads out of concrete, cover up the grass
Roads ain’t goin’ nowhere, and concrete never lasts.
Phil Lindsey, April 15, 2015

Poem 3
How to raise kids

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

I got into to teaching to make a difference,
To add some joy to a kids existence,
I knew, so well, the hurt and pain
That kids in secondary school sustain
The tears and the fears and the dread and the...
"Ahahahaha! Look at his Nicks!! He thinks he's got Nikes but he's wearing Nicks!"
And how it switches you off and makes you not care,
Because you just don't want to go back there.
So, you wander into town to HMV
Til your parents feel let down when you only got an E
Until you failed Art and Graphics and Literacy
But at least you got an A in history...
Because academic subjects are "more important"

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

So I left 6th form and I needed change
And wanted to go to somewhere strange
(And new)
Somewhere away from all the drama
At 19 I went by myself to Ghana
"God bless our homeland Ghana
And make our nation great and strong,
Vow to defend forever
The cause of Freedom and of Right"
And I taught
Maths and English
With no books
And no training
And no observing
And I was ******* at it... Really bad
But somehow, i felt the change
Just because I cared and they cared

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

A few years later I started teachin.
GTP, hands on, straight in.
My teaching mentor was called Mr Hickey,
He smoked a pipe and drank down whiskey
(In school)
My first proper job was Bradford inner city
It was a bit rough and the buildin was ******
There we had a guy who was a lazy old ****
And he had kids tracing instead of learning Art
When I first got there I was overwrought
These weren't like the training lessons that I taught
These kids had opinions. They needed to engage...
To be taught in a way that suited kids of their age
I nearly gave up, because I felt so scared
But at the end of the day, I knew that I still cared

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

In my 3rd year I had this year 11 class
They wanted a good lesson and they wanted to pass
But they needed convincing and I nearly cried
So I tried and I tried and I tried and I tried
To listen
And react
To change
And Adapt
And those kids made me better
And for 3 years I got better
Our grades were sky high
The kids wanted to try
They wanted learn, they wanted to know "why"
But I got to the top and I needed to fly
Because I needed somewhere that I could ask the "why"

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

You have those moments sometimes in life, where you know that a decision is important, but you don't know why and you don't know which way is the right way to go with it. This was that point for me. Sat in the interview, saying I wanted to pull out but letting them convince me to stay. That was the point, I think where everything changed.

2010. New job. New government.

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

I was head of Art and I got noticed
Within a year I got promoted
Faculty leader of creative skills
This is the part where it really kills
What do you do when you just aren't wanted
When people are angry that you're there
When all of your decisions seem to be haunted
By the ghost of a culture where they just don't care
Where nastiness and gossip always bite
Resting in the coffin of a lost tradition
Kids so bored they're turning white
Beaten down to bored submission
And everyone seems to have given up the fight
But they're still convinced that their way's "right"

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

After so much pain, we were getting through it
We realised there was much more to it
No more easy working out of booklets
(The teaching equivalent of rhyming couplets)
But every time you made a shift
The goal posts seemed to start to drift
And this all caused a further rift
The final one I couldn't lift

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

Gossip and lies caused by others stress
Creates a catastrophic mess
Turns people's lives upside down
Gives off the sense that they're a clown
They're trying. They're just really down
Simply trying not to drown
Marriage ending
Friends unfriending
Children's lives are slowly bending
House and finance are up-ending
Mediation sessions need attending
Everything seems to need mending
And the pain seems to be never-ending

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

Professional life vs Personal life
Professional strife = Personal strife
Personal wife goes through professional strife
Personal strife =

"I understand what you're going through, but we need to think about the learners."

Stress in teaching is the expectation
Work life balance has no correlation
The pressures of a confused nation
Makes teachers into the poor relation

Goodbye btec, goodbye vocation
Hello Gove and his minds creation
Goodbye Gove and hello Morgan
Hiding behind a gritty slogan
Creating the pressure of pointless change
For teachers to correct and rearrange

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

But here's the thing. It's not their fault.
Sure, they've no idea MPs
They've less common sense than a piece of cheese
But all MPs really do is set
Some criteria that need to be met
A league table
Academies
Appraisal
Curriculums
It's nothing new. They've always done it
But it's given to schools to interpret
We don't lose money, we just get judged
We need conviction that can't be budged
We need to get a message out
To every parent, round about
And what this message needs to say
Is "we aren't doing extra maths today,
We're going to go outside and play
Because whatever MPs say
We'll do what's right for the kids
And here's why it's right you know
Cause we want to see your children grow
We're not just for levels, grades, progress
We're also here to relieve stress
We're also here to make your child feel
That happiness is something real
That in spite of all the crap you see
You can become head of art when you failed gcse."
Learn People skills
Determination
Creativity
Imagination
Honesty
Integrity
Sen­sitivity
And empathy
It's not an easy sell I know
You can't measure how people grow
You can't report or give a grade
But they're qualities that are heaven made
And maybe think the same for teachers
We're all very caring creatures
We care about how kids are raised
We don't need to be constantly appraised
Default 100%?!?
Like energy is heaven sent
Like when your kids are down with flu
You just man up, there's work to do
When you've got a quality person who just needs backing
Why give pressure and then threaten with sacking?

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

School - this week mark all your books
I need them up to date so I can look

Teacher - I've got to take my daughter swimming
I've got to see my son try winning

School - read through your teaching standards mate
And leave your children at the gate

End of the week the books are done
But head and deputies are overrun
"We'll have to put these books aside
To push our children down the slide"

And good for them. They work really hard. It's not a job to take lightly and they deserve to be there. But they don't have the time to step back and think "big picture"

Let's flip it round and just imagine

Teacher - I'm sorry, I'm afraid I'm ill
School - you can't be ill the learners will fail
Teacher - I need some patience, I need some time
School - the kids need work which is sublime
Don't they deserve that? Don't you think?
Do you really want your learners to sink?

And there it is. The teacher guilt.
Because that's the way that we've been built
We care too much
We try too much
We give too much
We work too much
And we lose too much
We get ideas above our station
About how this job is a vocation
When we stop and look around
The evidence just can't be found
Someone tells me what to teach
Someone tells me how to teach it
Someone tells me how to plan
Someone tells me when to plan it
Someone tells me how to mark
Someone tells me when to mark it
We work to targets, get appraised
Residuals to get profiles raised
It's industry. I rest my case.

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

Or, put it another way.

I just think that teaching has lost all its common sense. And it's kindness. It behaves like an industry which is about getting results and meeting targets. There's nothing that measures people's happiness or how deeply moved or affected someone is by what they've learned. It just checks that they learned it. And we are given this guilt trip. That it's about children and that we are affecting their lives if we don't meet targets. We give up more and more because "teaching is a vocation"  "it's about kids", and yet schools use cover supervisors, cut subjects, limit choices etc to save money and get results. So the profession behaves like an industry but the teachers have to give their lives to it like its a vocation. It's not a vocation. At all. It's a job.

How can you raise kids that are in good health when you don't see the lies that you're selling to yourself?

Your honor, 
My opening statement is as simple as this, 
Because of her/
A lot of these problems exist, 
Because I'm hurt/
I have these bandaids on my wrists,
Because of her/
I'm here requesting from you this writ,
....
I'm accusing the defendant of mental Incontinence,
Now Please be warned/
She is more than mentally competent,
She believes her words are to go without consequence,
Then has the gaul to think she deserves compliments,
I mean I'm sure there's a reason for this verbal diarrhea,
Some irreversible treason diva persona supersedes her,
Known to do the most/
While sayin the least,
My heart is the house/
She stopped paying her lease,
Karma's almost as scary , dreary, and tricky as guilt,
How she stopped paying the taxes on the house that we built,
How she just machine wash memories made outta silk,
Just stopped watering her feelings/ causing them to decay and wilt,
Got this heart on my sleeves/
Gotta fill this empty CHAMBER man,
Cause if you tryin to make magic/
Gotta make some major changes man,
These mental blocks so emphatic/
R.I.P Craig sager man,
But its loose ball fouls when I dive to save our plans,
Spent way to much time buildin fences, I'm defenseless,
But still I get defensive,
Payin you attention gets expensive,
I need some time to clear my head/
I may need an extension,
On second thought/
I'm gettin sick of blockin my ascension,
So I'm sueing you for custody of my heart,
I knew you liked to play games/
Knew that from the start,
But when a ***** played too/
You never laughed at that part,
Your body was a masterpiece/
but your mind was the art,
I ****** hate you/
But I loved our conversations,
Kinda how I hate school/
But I love my education,
Now I'm trying to make moves/
That boost my concentration,
cause I cant take losin/
And you're suess when it comes to complication,
Of our useless fights/
I can make a compilation,
Preferred the premium *****/
That prize is the consolation,
Jus when things are lookin up/
I'm in bed with the constellations,
Now I keep **** to myself/
Purposeful constipation,
I told her hit me with your best shot/
Now I'm feelin vaccinated,
Tried to tell her stay woke/
And now she still decaffeinated,
Now I'm Standing in the doorway/
Leonardo decapitated,
Little did I know/
Twas your name on the affidavit,
Tryin fix new problems/
With methods that's outdated, 
Feelins crept down the stairs/
Before they escalated,
Well **** it I'd rather slide/
No fun in the playground full of mood swings,
Felt like we hit the rock wall/
I cant stand the way you do things,
Mastered the art of storytelling/
She was the kubo to my two strings,
Now your carelessness/
can only lead to two things,
Times as hard as a brick clock/
And lies that get you ******* like shoe strings....©️

Says I to my Missis: "Ba goom, lass! you've something I see, on your mind."
Says she: "You are right, Sam, I've something. It 'appens it's on me be'ind.
A Boil as 'ud make Job jealous. It 'urts me no end when I sit."
Says I: "Go to 'ospittel, Missis. They might 'ave to coot it a bit."
Says she: "I just 'ate to be showin' the part of me person it's at."
Says I: "Don't be fussy; them doctors see sights more 'orrid than that."

So Misses goes off togged up tasty, and there at the 'ospittel door
They tells 'er to see the 'ouse Doctor, 'oose office is Room Thirty-four.
So she 'unts up and down till she finds it, and knocks and a voice says: "Come in,"
And there is a 'andsome young feller, in white from 'is 'eels to 'is chin.
"I've got a big boil," says my Missis. "It 'urts me for fair when I sit,
And Sam (that's me 'usband) 'as asked me to ask you to coot it a bit."
Then blushin' she plucks up her courage, and bravely she shows 'im the place,
And 'e gives it a proper inspection, wi' a 'eap o' surprise on 'is face.
Then 'e says wi' an accent o' Scotland: "Whit ye hae is a bile, Ah can feel,
But ye'd better consult the heid Dockter; they caw him Professor O'Niel.
He's special for biles and carbuncles. Ye'll find him in Room Sixty-three.
No charge, Ma'am. It's been a rare pleasure. Jist tell him ye're comin' from me."

So Misses she thanks 'im politely, and 'unts up and down as before,
Till she comes to a big 'andsome room with "Professor O'Neil" on the door.
Then once more she plucks up her courage, and knocks, and a voice says: "All right."
So she enters, and sees a fat feller wi' whiskers, all togged up in white.
"I've got a big boil," says my Missis, "and if ye will kindly permit,
I'd like for to 'ave you inspect it; it 'urts me like all when I sit."
So blushin' as red as a beet-root she 'astens to show 'im the spot,
And 'e says wi' a look o' amazement: "Sure, Ma'am, it must hurt ye a lot."
Then 'e puts on 'is specs to regard it, and finally says wi' a frown:
"I'll bet it's as sore as the divvle, especially whin ye sit down.
I think it's a case for the Surgeon; ye'd better consult Doctor Hoyle.
I've no hisitation in sayin' yer boil is a hill of a boil."

So Misses she thanks 'im for sayin' her boil is a hill of a boil,
And 'unts all around till she comes on a door that is marked: "Doctor Hoyle."
But by now she 'as fair got the wind up, and trembles in every limb;
But she thinks: "After all, 'e's a Doctor. Ah moosn't be bashful wi' 'im."
She's made o' good stuff is the Missis, so she knocks and a voice says: "Oos there?"
"It's me," says ma Bessie, an' enters a room which is spacious and bare.
And a wise-lookin' old feller greets 'er, and 'e too is togged up in white.
"It's the room where they coot ye," thinks Bessie; and shakes like a jelly wi' fright.
"Ah got a big boil," begins Missis, "and if ye are sure you don't mind,
I'd like ye to see it a moment. It 'urts me, because it's be'ind."
So thinkin' she'd best get it over, she 'astens to show 'im the place,
And 'e stares at 'er kindo surprised like, an' gets very red in the face.
But 'e looks at it most conscientious, from every angle of view,
Then 'e says wi' a shrug o' 'is shoulders: "Pore Lydy, I'm sorry for you.
It wants to be cut, but you should 'ave a medical bloke to do that.
Sye, why don't yer go to the 'orsespittel, where all the Doctors is at?
Ye see, Ma'am, this part o' the buildin' is closed on account o' repairs;
Us fellers is only the pynters, a-pyntin' the 'alls and the stairs."

u emerge from the smoke
and merge within again

i ask myself
if you're the same person
inside & outside the smoke

are you?

the haze turns purple
findin yu, gets harder
my rovin eyes..get
not a moment of rest
findin yu &
buildin stories..

distance shortens
between me to yu..
m 'ere
yet i feel
your warm breath
on my cheek..

there are moments
when i want to go
actively insane
this is one such

i can't help myself
can you?

[Hook: Ester Dean]
Voices in the air
I hear them loud and clear
Telling me to listen
Whispers in my ear
Nothing can compare
I just wanna listen

[Verse 1: MGK]
As my, world turns
The heart beats
Not only in my chest
But the heart in these streets
So when they feel this, they feel me
But I can't feel nothin', outside these dre beats
I am from the city of evil, came from the bottom
Standing on top of what was supposed to be my coffin, whats up?
Inception shows me as a dead man walkin', but reflections shows this kid's still got it
Let it be known I got the throne like I don't know that there's a king
Never grew up around a family because I'm not a human being
And anyone under my level that’s coming at my spot for the top
Let them have it, cause when I leave, the whole world drops
Lace up Kells

[Hook]
I hear voices in the air
I hear em’ loud and clear
Telling me to listen
Whispers in my ear
Nothing can compare
I just want to listen
Telling me I am Invincible (3x) - oh oh
Telling me I am Invincible (3x) - oh oh I am

[Verse 2]
Waking up sweatin from the stress of being caged down
Everything I write is played out like what is this ?
Tear the whole page out
Man I come from holes in the wall but they don’t know the path
Even if I told them it all, they wouldn't know the half
So maybe I fill up my luggage with all of these dreams and put on my black coat and my black chucks and nothing in my jeans
And just run, till the day comes like Rocky’s movie scene
And I’m on top of the world, look up and scream like this is me, this is Kells
Crucified by the public without the nails
Do or die in my city but clearly I never failed
Lost myself in the game when I found myself in a cell
Then I found myself in the fame when I lost myself in the pills
And you cannot mess with me still , seen them boys and they winnin
Underdogs of the year Cleveland boys in the buildin'
What the **** is a ceiling I’m taking this to the top, and when I leave the whole world drops Lace Up Kells

[Hook]
I hear voices in the air
I hear em’ loud and clear
Telling me to listen
Whispers in my ear nothing can compare
I just want to listen
Telling me I am Invincible (3x) - oh oh
Telling me I am Invincible (3x) - oh oh I am…..

And you wonder why they call u *****? ?
Cuz ****** n hoes quick to switch
Like this one muthafucka
Tried to set me up with the feds
Now he dead clothes soaked in red
God bless the dead
I aint lyin'
Keep my thai **** fryin'
My spirits cryin'
Out loud tryna tell me to avoid
The pain but i cant in then rain?
Uh unless i wanna get wet up
So all my real homies throw ya set up
Guns up
In gats we trust bust
At the pulpits from hell
We dont care we ride or die
And if we fail
Ill little semens will grow
and vanish the demons thats schemin'
Be on the look out
Watch ya mouth
Cuz fools quick to rush in
Pistol smokin' i seen one of my homies eyes open
Stiff as a log mind began to jog
Tryna escape the smog
But they really wanna see dead or in the penitentiary
But i see ten years ahead of the game
No shame quick to light the flame
Burn muthafuckas if they try
Still running in the fields
Pressure buildin' up
Cuz my society corrupt
Ya might be here today
And gone tomorrow
And the family only feels the sorrow
Borrow
A tinted window in the stretch limo
Sayin' eulogy
For all the thugs before me
But im still battlin' the sable
Makin' gilt that my peeps fall for
And end up in the killing fields uh
**** life til i die!!!!



Foools wearin' bulletproof vest
To protect they chest
When muthafuckas been takin' head shots
With the infered dots
And Yea... i call 'em the cops
Somebody gotta drop
**** the law we raw and rugged
With our ****
Hardest to spit soon to hit
Every ghetto city in the country
They'll mourn me
And remember the the game
I gave to ya
cuz if you got a mind
They'll try to abuse ya
Told ya the time is now
Muthafuckas quick to take a bow
Givin' honor to temporary fame
Learn the game
Bring ya own rules fools
Still search for 40 acres and a mule
But they aint gone never give it to you
But dont give up
Just bomb rush these muthafuckas
Until they act up
Bawlin' for state of an emergency
Call up the national guard
Cant **** a million nigguhs with
weapons
Then when they step in
Let them ******* have it
With the automatic
We causin static
To every news radio station
Shook up the whole nation
Got everybody screamin **** life
Revengin' for Malcolm X
This is for all the real leaders
That got killed
And ended up yoooo
In the killing fields


Im deeep in yo brains
Like illusion from *******
Mixed with hennessey
Gotta nigguh think
He strong mayne? ??
Aint no rest for the wickd
Since societys sadistic
I gotta keep my nine
On the side of my hip
No bloods or crips
Just real killers ready to bust at yo ****
Guard it well
Cuz if we fail
My troops goin to jail
The next day they out on bail
Though im dead
Ill be comin' back
Penetratin' enemies
With the bullets of my mac
No slackin' bodies Stackin
**** life is way of the game
No shame
To bring the pain
Uh we exterminatin' nation
Leavin' no remainsssss
now ya stuck in the fields!! $$

Find me elementary and I will show
That I'm a child at heart but there's alot I know
I could start to grow on you and change those reds into blue
And before you know that inner glow will show how my love is true

Find me ignorant and I will say
There are just some things that I avoid to save the day
But with the sun shining down so slim upon the needy ground
Could you blame me if there are parts of yellow I long to save

Call me bewildering and you will see
There's so much beyond your fence's patch of green
I'm part of technicolor folks who clear away this blinding smoke
And leave you with a simple harmony

Call me elementary.

Life for me's like a Crayola box
A simple structure made out of those buildin' blox
And I bind and take these new shadings of the world that I am coloring
Placing them on the structure of a solid rock

I can play with you amongst the sand
Don't you dare be afraid to take my hand
Those there's no ocean anywhere we can swim upon the air
Stop me please to tell me if you understand

My elementary.

Imagination paint the scenery
Use the finger paint that we supply freely
I will paint in and out the lines to make sure that you're forvever mine
And we will find that we can forever be

It's the moment where she has to hold back tears.
Bam, bam, the sound of her heart against her ribs as they confirm her fears.
Phone in hand, soft words whispered so easily destroying her heart.
She knew this was comin from the start.
She wasn't ready, not yet!
She dropped the phone, and she knew it was fake, a joke; bet!

"I'm sorry, but grandpa is dead..."
Her heart was beating so loud she wasn't sure she heard what she said.
She started to breathe faster, pulling on clothes to go see for herself.
She was so shocked she left all the memories on a shelf.
There he was..lying perfectly still in the bed of his choice.
She was in to much pain to open her mouth and use her voice.

They dressed him, and she stood frozen in fear.
She didn't even shed a tear.
Frozen in fear, the 12 year old girl walked back outside in the cold night.
She stood there not sure if she could handle this fight.
She stayed silent for days.
Then it was time for the funeral, and her heart and mind a maze.

She got there and he was in his casket, not moving, she knew it was real.
Sharp pains of sadness were all she could feel.
She stood there unable to breathe, unable to move, only able to cry.
She longed to feel someone hold her, but all the did was tell her he had to die.  
Why though, why did she have to watch as he lay in pain..
She wondered if it was driving him insane...

What was your last thought daddy, was it of me?
Was it of God, who you were goin to see?
Were you in pain when I left you there to die?
I'm sorry, i didn't know it was time to say goodbye.
She writes these lines and the tears are ready to fall..
She has no one to go to, no one to call..

After the funeral, she watched him get lowered into the ground.
She was feeling as though she had drowned..
The tears were falling fast and free.
No one knew the pain growing inside from those little words, just three.
Tears still fall from her eyes.
It has been almost four years and she can't accept everyone dies.

She grew up buildin walls to save herself from feeling the same kind of pain.
She, no one knows, but she is me, and the pain is driving me insane.
I left him all alone on his last night here.
He was all alone cause i was frozen in fear.
I'm sorry for what happened that night..
It was the beginning of a losing fight.

Waking up hurts, why?
All she wants do is cry, why?
She cuts her wrist to feel alive, why?
She smiles and fakes happiness for all of you, why?
She longs to fly with the angels in the sky, why?
Lonely in a sea of people, why?

It hurts because the monster lives in her brain.
She cries, because it's the only way she feels sane.
She cuts to hide a war, to hide the pain from you.
She fakes being happy, because she knows there is nothing you can do.
She longs to fly with the angels to see the daddy she never had..
She is lonely in a sea of people, cause no one can see how sad..

She fights a losing battle in her mind, why?
She tries so hard to please everyone, why?
She loves with all her heart, why?
She smiles despite the pain buildin inside, why?
She loves the one who hates her most, why?
She is scared to let him in, why?

She fights, in hopes one day she may win.
She tries to please them, so they never get close enough to want in.
She loves because to love means to feel.
She smiles, because one day the pain won't be real.
She loves her, because one day it will all be worthwhile.
She doesn't want him to see what lurks behind that beautiful smile.

She hides the past and hides the pain with a smile, why?
She covers her battle scars, why?
She lives with the monster, why?
She isn't innocent and pure, why?
She builds walls, why?
She hides behind the facade of happiness, why?

She can't let you see, you won't understand the pain she buries.
She is ashamed of the battles she lost, and the scars she carries.
She can't ask for help, so he has taken over her mind.
He took her innocence while everyone else was blind.
She hides from the pain of getting close.
She can't take any more, not another dose.

She is a girl who lives in fear of her own mind.
She is afraid of what she may find.
She is a girl who screams silently for you to see.
She is a girl just like you and me.
She is a girl who cuts to feel, not to die.
Because if she really wanted to die, she wouldn't even have to try..

Writing is all I got it brings out the best in me
They are just written words that shouldn't hurt
Explaining the vision or saying how I truly feel
I've explored aspects of my life I coped late
Never made time to feel but did have so much buildin up in my mind. It's like a wall blocking others out but realized I was blocking myself in
Many times I think what I could've done different
What's done is done it's too late focus on now
The past is behind you the moment has passed
Never too late to tie those lose ends or finish projects that needed to be touched up long ago
Tired of feeling numb and ignoring my emotions no more living in denial been going on for way too long

"REST IN PEACE JEREMY"

gettin to this money in a jiffy like how when i got a ****** not on no gay **** thats my **** a ***** an blunt for drinkin the next case away...

sittin in a unrealed owners name lamborgini makin money 10 babies 1k horse power between my legs an a job to do...

5 milly in a day vp money across this nation top 100 business in the world i fly in jets not legal yet they says its a payed to me test...

now im speaking a language i ain spoke in a minute because anywhere i go standing on top the biggest buildin everything i see is mine...

they always been on my **** since birth i dont know why on ****** on my life seen death shed a tear moved on never looked back since...

i know im the best because of what ive written when an why an what happend right after that in 100 years you might find out...

jiffy widda sticky blicky on the dome keep my name out ya mouth im from the north east an south the real west central...

my boi terror spittin out a new whip his speech a precident makin you ****** competit an go extinct...

i dont give a **** what color you are the money around me turn you to a jew an im the ferror out chea...

z-pac

Why is it when you speak, I listen to what is said,
But when I speak my truth, I get left on read.
All these games, they starting to **** with my head.
What happens to our love, if it never gets fed?
I don't wanna think about mornings without you,
I don't wanna think about nights without you,
Honestly, really, I don't wanna think thoughts about you.
Yet I do every single day it's you, I crave,
My friends saying it's okay to leave, be brave.
It's not so easy, ugh it's not so easy to walk away,
Without ever getting the chance, to speak what I need to say.
So listen you hurt me. You hurt me so deep,
What we used to have, I thought was ours to keep.
We don't connect any more, we don't agree,
Right or left? One, two, or three?
Maybe something more simple, like you and me?
One foot in and one foot out,
Seems to be what your all about.
I need communication,
I need contentment,
****, I just need some **** commitment.
We're not in highschool, we are not children,
If your not all in, then what are we buildin?
Throw the games away, take away the rules,
Grow with me, stop listening to these fools.
Why do we have the same **** fight every **** day?
I've reached my limit, at this point I need a reason to stay.

Villain am I not I am killin all my stocks of the spillin of the millions into villages and crops.  Just to pillage and to plot then just buildin parkin lots. While our children *** up ill with hallow feelins empty thoughts...its appealin its been taught its been sealed in its been bought  hope the drillin through your realness soon reveals it simply not ....

I have worked the wrench’n’hammer
To the bolts’n’nails of rich men.
As their machines mutter’n’purr,
I am left with pennies to spare.

I have crawled under their buildin’s,
Face down as if I’m their grease’n’dirt,
To make their water flow on for them,
Havin to skip my meals for their dollar’s whim.

I hold my tongue like the best of’em
And fold my calloused hands politely.
When asked what I believe, I simply blink;
lettin’em think I’m a chain with’a missing link.

I drive 45 minutes home to an awful town
But it’s cheap an I can stand it.
I ****, shower an shave, an wait for my baby.
She’s a whip smart mind, my beautiful lady.

The days are similar an not so excitin’,
They grind on an on till the point is dull.
But with her around me, I’m a lucky man,
Cause she sees life not ‘as is’ but as ‘we can’.

One day we will stop all this dreamin’
An cast off to the winds whirlin’ whisper.
As it tells us where, when, an how, we will
Go on together an finally have our fill.

If my days on Earth were at an end
& For me there were no tomorrow
Would you be able to pick up the pieces & move on
or would you lay down & die from the sorrow
Really give it some thought & when you speak
try & truly open your heart
Imagine that such a day is here
then tell me - where would you start
Would you spend your days in tears-
Cryin' with your head in your hands
or would our love die with me
allowin' you to start on a new sets of plans
Buildin' a new life - with a family
eventually even find a new friend
Until my seat winds up taken
& I'm no longer -m " The best there's ever bee
Instead I'll fade into the distance
As someone once part of your past
Never did I fancy myself as your first
Just really believed that I'd die as your last
Now what we have that would live through eternity rding
Even after it was buried and gone
And that you  would never crossed that line
Always considering that as doin' me  wrong
Happy riding out your days
Livin' off the love that we shared
With each passing year becoming the testimony
Givin'  an account of how much that you cared
or that prove selfish-  accomplishing nothin'-
except for to  stand in  your way
If so - I'm unable to say I'm sorry
cuz in your heart-always-you promised I'd stay
See-you once  showed me it was just you and I
& past that-I can't see any farther
I'd have to ask the Lord to close the windows of Heaven
If ever-I had to See-you with another
So I swear to love you fully- with each day
I'm allowed to beg,steal,or borrow
knowin' that time is of the essence
& that no one is promised tomorrow

Long hair flowin';
Marijuana smokin';
"Peace!" declarin';
Colorful clothes wearin';
Guitars strummin';
Rides thumbin';
"Flower children" bein';
Social bridges buildin';
In communes livin';
Thoughts on love givin';
The land travelin';
The older generation's perfidy bravin';
These were the hippies
Of the Sixties,
An extinct type
Of people for whose emergence the
  time was ripe;
Who "the Establishment" defied
And a new society contrived.

Punisher or Guardian?
Guardian I hope
Buddhamind in Bangkok
In Rome this Francis Pope

In America the postcards
Chimes of Freedom ring
Responsibility
Teenage girls do sing

Takin' people down
Buildin' people up
I do now love Zephyr
Still miss that Quayzar pup

I am a taxi service
That's alright by me
Fly from Baltimore
To Thailand, Land of the Free

                  Sanuk Di!

Stop making death threats
and start making promises.
Otherwise, you'll uselessly
get our hopes up.

And if the threats continue,
you'll find yourself with:

-A broken arm,
-Slit wrists,
-A sack of dead cells of a brain

for how many times you'll be forced
to make good on those threats.
By slamming your arm shut in a door frame,
taking a blade to your wrist,
and banging your head against a wall,
There is no end to the threat list.
Because neither one of them creates an end to you.

But there is an end to the promise list,
and it ends with the first decision
you have the guts to make toward a promise.

-Shoot yourself,
-Throw yourself in front of a train,
-Inhale ammonia and bleach
-Stab yourself repeatedly with a knife,
-Jump from a buildin...

See, I told you this list would end. And it didn't take long...