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Raven Aug 2018
Normally
Cookies
Are seen as sweet
As something
For a child to enjoy
Or at least that's the stereotype

And normally
Wine
Is seen as bitter
And something
For grown ups to enjoy
Or at least that's the stereotype

But
Children are now drinking wine
And
Adults are eating cookies

Adults look the other way about the children
With wine

And children look the other way about parents
Eating cookies they can't have

Why have things turned around?

Why have things changed?

Maybe because the children saw adults
Using wine
To dull pain
And so they tried it
Even though the aftermath
Was also painful
It was less painful than the rest of the world

And maybe because parents realized that if they put *** in their cookies
The children would stop stealing
And sneaking them

But both have backfired

Because now the children have more problems than before
August/23/2018
James Amick Aug 2013
I’m watching my roommate come to terms with the fact that he actually likes a girl here who likes him back, and in the darkness of the dance floor, a smile curves across my face like his arm around her. They are happy.

I turn and scan the room for a broken bird, a wing clipped by circumstance and bathroom mirrors.

I find her.

Feathers furled, perched on a chair, her presence is threadlike, the stray ones pulled from shirt sleeves, I hold her between my index and thumb and I feel nothing but air between my fingers.

It’s a beautiful kind of lightness. She is a beautiful kind of lightness. Her hair caresses the air around her like satin.

Her eyes wide, sometimes I think it’s from fear, but sometimes it’s from the shadows of happiness that she allows to step on her heels from time to time.

They are amber. I see crystal histories, lattice lines of the past I wish I could know, but she keeps her stories locked in her stunning amber prisons.

I fled from her tonight. In the darkness of the dance floor there was no light to reflect from her amber eyes, so the grip of my insecurities around my neck tightened, and I left.

I wanted to walk to the lakefront. Clamor down the rocks to let the moon lap the water into mist upon my slacks, I could picture my silver tie reflecting the moon back at itself, drifting in the waves before the saturation of obsession dragged it to the bottom of Lake Michigan.

I couldn’t stand the thought of my tie not reflecting your eyes, the gray circle at the edge of your irises like the edge of a stormfront,

Transient thunder could lie behind the next whisper of your voice or closing of your eyes.

I couldn’t stand the thought of never reflecting your light, so I only walked a few blocks. I kept looking to my sides, reminding myself that the moon, and you, were still with me.

My dear, like the moon, our time is waning.

But my dear, like the moon, your amber eyes are waxing, lunar storms always on the horizon.

How I long for the fall of rain.
Victoria McShane Apr 2015
You called to me
As my way of release.
But it's backfired,
And now the thing keeping me here
Has turned against me.
How am I to love something
If it fights with me daily?
What is the point of dedication anymore?
What is loyalty?
There was a truck, a chorrie
Some people would call it a lorry
It backfired one day
And was heard to say,
‘Jislaaik, I’m  blerry sorry.’
© Ronald Maxwell Segel 2008
Chorrie - an old vehicle, afrikaans slang
blerry – very
jislaaik – no literal translation
David Bojay Jul 2022
too many lies have made me blind

i'm just trying to make myself feel and be better, but i wasn't a great partner.. always two sides to the story

she pointed out things i already knew about myself, i'm not perfect but i try to be patient with myself... if I could I would've rushed the process

i'm worth it, yes... i think... but sometimes it doesn't feel like i'm worth my next breath of air

i've always had an issue with that until it backfired, one bullet turns into 100

right at me, if they were real i wouldn't try to dodge

questioning the "logic" behind these emotions

imaginary weight? but it's dragging me down before the sun rises again

i don't have anything to believe in, i'm not the one for her... is what she's decided

nothing is right for me... after endless mental agony

facts don't make me feel better, but it's good to be honest

always better to be honest... things are **** at the moment

there's nothing to do but live through it again

i was... dumb to think otherwise

they say to step away at first sign, but you always want to try to fight it

for the sake of making things work, even if they don't

i've given up plenty of times, this time it feels like i shouldn't again

when i should, again

here it comes

i get it, i get it

ahhhhhhhhhhh

yes i'm flawed... i know... i'm still... growing eww

sooner or later

"just let her go"

it's so simple... she's vanished

and it wasn't meant to be, but i thought she was the one to settle down with afterall

she's hung up on an image, multiples

if it makes me feel better, believe it

she just wasn't into me

just focus.. on living, not just exisiting

imagine loving someone that doesn't love you back

thinking about a certain future that's been taken away


my mind is lost right now.... i'll let it run for a bit until i can catch upppp


dreams unlived


i dreamt about our kids last night and I forgot to tell you


an ending with too many photos to feel alive to
Ryan Unger Mar 2012
What you are about to hear is an interesting story,
But it’s not about goals, feats, or glory.
It’s simply about a man named Ray,
Who discovered quite an unusual talent one day.

You see all his life Ray only ate meat,
He avoided fruits and veggies, and other healthy things to eat.
Until this one day, when Ray was in a bind,
When a bushel of grapes was the only food he could find.

Now he wasn’t a big fruit guy, but he didn’t care,
He felt was hungry as a grizzly bear.
He gobbled the grapes up, fast as could be,
And an hour later went to the bathroom to ***.

While in the bathroom, humming a song,
Ray noticed the color of his ***** was wrong.
It was purple! Not yellow! A strange sight indeed!
For this happened every time Ray ate grapes then peed.

His ***** smelt of red wine, purple and sweet,
So he bottled some up for himself to keep.
Later that night, it dwelled on Rays mind,
If he should taste his *****, to see if it truly was wine.

He poured himself a glass, and a large one at that,
Pulled up a chair, and there he sat,
He was nervous about what was to follow,
But he closed his eyes, took a sip, and swallowed.

And oh, what bliss! It was the best wine he ever tasted.
He promised himself “no more of my ***** will be wasted.”

He figured if he ate grape every day,
He bottle his ***, and make people pay,
for the most delicious wine that they’d ever buy,
It’s risky, he thought, but it’s worth a try.

Ray started his business door to door,
Letting folks sample the wine, and they always wanted more.
At first business was slow, but it picked up real fast,
And he was questioned by every neighbor he asked.

They told him they loved his wine, and they wanted more,
They wanted so much, Ray opened a store.
He sold all of his wine, to policemen and teachers,
He even sold a bottle to one of the preachers.

Business was great, until the month of July,
When a competing winery sent in a spy.
They wanted to steal his secret to success,
So people would say that their wine was the best.

So late one night, while the town was asleep.
The spies went to Ray’s home to sneak a peak.
They peered in his window, and what did they see?
They saw Ray alone, filling wine bottles with ***.

“Oh my god” they exclaimed, “we must tell the town,
The people will be furious, they’ll tear his store down!”

Well the spies were right, and the very next day,
The townspeople approached Ray’s store filled with rage.
“How dare you!” they shouted, and began to throw stones,
Poor Ray was left in his store all alone.

“Get out of our town, and never come back!”
And with that they burned his store til the wood was charred and black.
So Ray left town, quickly and sadly,
For his wine business had backfired very badly.
Is this the end of Ray? No way in hell,
Because he’s just arrived in your town, and he’s got some delicious wine to sell.
High on Lolipops Jun 2013
There once was a zombie named Alfred,
Who couldn't believe he was dead.
But brains desired,
Common sense backfired.
So he did as the gruesome dead.
Why? 'Cause zombies are awesome.
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2019
My attempts to make
You hate me only seem to
Make me hate myself
****. This is an older one but I think it says a lot in few words.
JC Lucas Nov 2013
Sit broken
Sulkin'
Softly weepin' wisps which then
Withdraw themselves from all of this
Fickle
And fiendish
You'd have my arms and legs bound tight
You're sulkin'
Broken
Without remorse, without respite
I'm nervous,
Workless
And functionless in all your eyes
You're girlish
And cutesy
You give them eyes to get replies
I've never-
You've never?
You finish thoughts and work your little fingers down my
Spine

-chorus-
Uproot the weeds inside you
Fine
I'm through with being fruitless and
Surprised
By old attempts to change our ways
Besides
We're newly polished anyways
We're newly painted, off the line

The bitter
And nameless
Are working after hours to reface this
And shame it
It sits and spins and multiplies
With frequence
I feel it
I feed a framework filament fire
And hapless
You're hopeless
I'm hoping on another line-
To find out what's been sanctified
Who sacrificed to tranquilize
And backfired by bullshittin'
So now I'm sleepy saunterin'
To see what life's like on the other side

(Chorus)

-breakdown-
If we cared
We could whisper cloudy whiteness where there
Used to be only filth and flies
I'm sick of sentimentalism
Sick of sinking in
I'm feeling fine.

-chorus-
Uproot the weeds inside you
Fine
I'm through with being fruitless and
Surprised
By old attempts to change our ways
Besides-
We're newly puffed up anyways
I've walked the line from Z to A
We're freshly painted hypocrites
At least this time I won't be so surprised.

-fin-
This is actually a song. Sung, not spoken.
I have spent so long protecting myself from getting hurt
that I have no idea how to let anyone love me
the way I deserved to be loved.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: June. 18, 2016 Saturday 8:45 AM
Miranda Mar 2014
I'm taking a path; a long winding road.
Trying to find my place; my home.
I don't know where I'm at, there aren't any signs.
I took my own path, now I'm lost on the sidelines.
I don't know who I am; a constant search of mine.
I live out of daydreams with no sense of time.
I ignored all their demands, trying to become my own person.
But it backfired on me because now I don't feel human.
I used to be vibrant, happy, and fun.
Now I'm lucky to feel anything but numb.
Laughing used to be easy but now it's become a chore.
I need a way out; an exit; a door.
It's taken awhile but I've finally become guarded.
I've become a hard shell, yet I'm still kind-hearted.
This path is empty, aside from me.
I find myself thinking, "Is this how it's supposed to be?"
My life used to be a rainbow, not so dark and dreary.
It's hard to think back on memories without getting teary.
I've blocked everyone out, making them believe I don't care.
When secretly, I just want someone to help; to be there.
I've come to an opening at the top of the path;
I'm upon a hill, observing the lives I passed.
Wishing I was normal; wishing I was free.
But I'm not, because I've lost who I used to be.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2016
Rio can have its lava lamp spectacular,
i have my Van der Graaf Generator,
studying lightning and brainwaves
(the **** you can find on suburban streets -
as they say: the best things are for free);
trees and roots upside-and-out akin to branches
stretching for the paparazzi tropism -
wannabe junkies through and through the U.V.
glittering additions.

Damocles and global warming;
it's hanging, a birth of the guillotine -
America is armed, give it a sneeze
and the public will be ready for an insurrection,
we basically marched back to the 1960s
without a Martin Luther or a Malcolm X...
people are testifying a need for leadership,
the C.I.A. and F.B.I. are on the prowl
to subdue it... if this was the ice age
i'd eat you, ******... i got bored
of chicken, let's see what you taste like;
the revision of Damocles' sword hanging over
all of us... believe me, the Arabs are fine,
they can stand this kind of heat,
they'll fry us all on a Ferrari sports-car revs
from that carbon monoxide **** ****** at
for brain damage and a ***** **** under a niqab;
me? i'm as politically correct as politicians
are on a Wednesday in Parliament during the P.M.'s
questions: ridiculous, ridiculing, ergo double
agitated... take your defence of apathy elsewhere,
into your safe-circle and dance me the ******* tango
while shadow boxing. i'm as politically correct
as the prime minister and as much as the shadow;
pulpit plonker of Peckham that was needed as a
plumbing pecker of assured speech getting the job done.

this is the revised version of b.m.i.,
i vouch like a scout that my personal library
weighs more than my body,
******, i'd eat you, no questions asked;
i'd eat you, the corpus christi curse right back at you,
Moses was a former army general,
he exploded outside of society,
Christ the Redeemer was catching carrier pigeons
by clapping inside society, the effects
came later, Grecian,
only an enriched literary civilisation could have
made profane remarks about the Jews...
what with Plato et al., the four gospels
really did miscarry the treasures of the tetragrammmaton,
that's the only Jesus bit i don't like,
well, it's pretty much all of the Jesus bit -
attacking religious figures like Elijah and the Baal priests,
he attacked but the religious cults under the Romans
flourished... then came the northern invaders of Rome
not really bothered by what the Greek wrote...
**** is this?! the **** is this?! you forget they lost
the runes and said: well Latin is the *******
for encoding hush and sepia, let's keep it,
start afresh, keep the coliseum rotting.
so much for human rights: chop the head off
and long live Charles I... keep him rotting in a cell
and you're inventing zoology, hardly human...
most men would rather the chop-off than the chaining...
vegetables in 2 cubic metres, hardly human...
**** it, most are like: end it, quick! don't make me
a loiter with my crimes... but of course the sadists won
and things collected dust...
the story was: don't read books, write something
original... Gaza strip would make the perfect novel
archetype -but subsequently loose your human empathy
allowance - somehow finding it in Oxford, half-******
and half-the-time missing the plot, to no one's bother.

yes, b.m.i. (book mind index), all that god is dead got me
thinking while we're obsessing about diets and
eating vegetarians... **** me, ain't i the cannibal tonight?
Rio... it's all Rio's fault... the ******* lava lamp and my
prize for going to buy the spirit of St. Paul's cathedral **** -
my own, van der Graaf generator -
along with the band, all classic **** given prog rock
introspection done by the one famous magazine Mojo -
no, not mojito - jackal, joke, jumper, jazzy,
south american ha or the Mexican Xavier's achoo cha ha cha
(i admit, Michael Jackson's version of: pope checks whether a choir
boy is castrated to sing the high-notes).

well, the plan is to drink yourself to death -
**** this place and **** it twice over if i am the spaghetti
with a chance of meatball genius to save it -
i'm not a coward, i'm just practical... the dinosaurs never
had so many paradoxes running through them
when Michelangelo did the meteor sequence,
after the Welsh and the Chinese intuitively drew dragons.

this is is the perfect time to be loners and childless -
it's a time when death and god is clearly explained,
but an en masse suicide pact is harder, unless you express
human pride and human vanity as the sourcing secret -
i did a mini course on sustainability beneath my
prime: chemistry at Edinburgh... can i say it was like
g.c.s.e. history? any idiot could do it.

or as was the case with political correctness with the recent
attacks in London - the English uber way of saying it
politely, they're campaigning for a loss of stigmata in
this branch of medicine that, for some strange ******* reason,
everyone gets involved and is suddenly a ******* expert -
i don't know how many ordinary civilians
claim to have degrees in psychology... too many by my count.
all those campaigns to relieve the stigmas on mental health
in order to "keep the public united" after such attacks
simply back-fired - like everyone depressed or anxious
would simply slit some stranger's throat, because
of a "history" - no amount of eloquent cover-ups will discourage
people from seeing what they see, media freedom allows
for per se manipulation - shadow-people tricks -
the other form of spying.
if it wasn't a terrorist plot why mention the Somali heritage?
could just have said he was Norwegian...
so whatever campaigns there were to ease the stigma
surrounding mental health issues just backfired -
only to keep the ethnic divisions intact in the agglomerate
of social cohesion - to be honest, mental health isn't
even a medical concern... it's a political tool for
exploiting harsh scenarios - and this
medical schism is pretty much akin to
the Sunni v. Shia division in Islam - or the 1054
great schism; i have absolutely no idea why or how
it happened, or when... but this isn't a religious topic,
it's a medical schism, and i'm assuming the anglophone
world is primarily prone to it... as an outside i have
my unique perspective... this isn't religion... it's medicine
for crying out-loud!

are these psychologists and quasi and alter counterparts
prescribing medication like penny-sweets?!
because they ******* are! humanists that have no right
to prescribe medication, but merely talk...
oh wait... didn't i hear some cultural critic write that
words are nothing? so we communicating in ******* Braille then?
words are the primary data imprints we all need,
i'm not writing in a language to make it my own -
but there this massive schism in medicine at the moment,
somehow not reading philosophy in western society
never got to grips with Cartesian materialisation
of i think into i am - i can answer for that -
mental illnesses are subtler than a leg infested with
gangrene - but they're still physical ailments -
obviously not as rainbow as a gangrene, but there can't
be a schism, because too many amateurs and sadists will
exploit the schism... there's also the necessary claim
for thinking and being to reach the ergo equilibrium -
by unnecessarily treating a thinking pattern
that does not really deviate into stabbing someone
will only encourage all this proto Narcissistic crap...
and you'd think that polytheism died under the 21 grams
worth of certainty that the soul exists with monotheism...
that's the strength of Greek polytheism
(and Indian polytheism, i.e. it didn't adopt a monotheism),
meaning that it's philosophical background ensured
that the revision of Hebraic in its hands gained so much
popularity as Christianity - but Narcissus is a telescope
to introspect - i blame Narcissus for the medical schism
we're now experiencing - mental health and the imaginary
fifth limb.

this schism is the result of subduing religion -
at first it was a wise move, i admit that i wouldn't
want to be on the Inquisition rack -
but when violence was perpetrated on us
we held a stealth belief that it would end -
but after we internalised this violence
there seems to be no end; another schism
was bound to pop up somewhere, i'd never think
it would be in the medical category:
due to the failures of reading philosophy,
bypassing Kant, phenomenology and the existentialists
to simply write a profit-banking book:
philosophy for dummies (+ ****** et al.).
Petal pie Mar 2014
She was always trying
To please
Smile, encourage,
Put them at ease
Daftness ensued
Goofy giggles ricocheted.

Her boundless enthusiasm
Though backfired.
It flailed around
And met walls
People got tired of her trying
Like an over eager licking pup
They found her presence trying.
This reflects how I feel I am received by some people
miso Nov 2013
Time and space unidentifiable
Afloat midair—hands and feet
Reasons and instincts, a hazy distance
Focus.

Stumbling awkwardly—a dull thud—all faults are revealed
On one ankle, a societal ***** tightens
Calloused by sharp emotions, numbed on hardened skin

I, on show behind the glass case—but that isn't me
All the truths became fiction, therefore I became a lie
Cake this mind of mine with makeup, don't let the sadness smear
A whirlpool, a hollow core, conflicted once again
At this point—although overdue:
Can this muddy rock still become the promised pearl?

A lurking presence of my fading self
In an unknown place, out of reach
There's the brutal wind, crashing-
Stumbling again, trampling in dust

Did the colours just fade?
My vision has never been this grey
That vibrant self of mine, where has it gone-
Is it gone

"Without conditions you must struggle,"
Those people aren't my enemies, don't misunderstand
There simply was nobody by my side
Walking this place alone so no one could hurt me—backfired

The world looks so noisy from the outside
Better readjust that person of mine
So I can at least fall asleep some day, even if by accident
To recover from this senseless jetlag of emotions
Traveled within the strict space of a room

I'll breathe it well—the last cold gush of air
To those creatures who coexisted within me
Have you all been well?
drownitout Jun 2014
Illegal answers require psychic invasion,
Personal opinion poses dangerous hobbies.
Thought police outlaw; evasion,
Applauds fourth-dimensional bodies.

If lifespan be as a labyrinth,
And garish men of magicians,
Are blessed with luck and wisdom.
If we bloom as imperialists,
And abandon our traditions,
Then it backfired, teaching us to think independently but listen.

Some advice screams truth aloud.
Too poor, for this is the minority,
Now the scene of this ****** thing is crowned.

Dim lit street lamps; slow dancing silhouettes.
A kingdom falls and it kills the sound.
Where we question lies here and there,
Here, then there, cancer coated lessons-
And long conversation that only wonder of more, hollowing an aged box of danger.

It has only taken every single descendants chances,
and we've trophied our lack of community.
So we've taken up advances, and embraced our anonymity.
More secure in loneliness and his companions,
Because fear is a world built for lost men with a common trait.
Their demeanor cheers:
"Abandoned, Abandoned."

-Traversing dust-riddled attics,
Discovering volumes, the journals of addicts.
We make the vices so dramatic,
Pray sweet no sinner, leaving gods post-traumatic.

Paperback letters,
Another waiting for the weekend.
Another fix, and I'm complacent.
Another deafening regret.
Screaming in my ears,
My pulse excites, vacation.
Animus gone racing.
You can't see it, but I swear it's there,
I don't know what you see in material things.
It doesn't hurt, but it bleeds.

Ghost towns, we,
The apparitions,
have minds so twisted,
It's Cataclysmic commonplace,
And these are some sadistic statistics.

What is the damage?
The telephone whispers, almost dead.
Another crippling harlot,
Internal bleeding,
And a few scars left.
A question lingers in the atmosphere.
Will I die like this?

The grass is green, and you can hide in your lies,
But know there's not much luck on the other side

Now?
I don't ******* care,
I don't...care.
Because all I consist of is a lost cause,
A lost cause with burdens to bear.

All of this conversation piece casts,
Yet I plant enlarging gardens.
Mother warns and Father mourns;
You'll reap what you sew, and finish what you've started.

Household horror story,
moaning and groaning and talks of hell.
Award-winning wintered heart
Burned the millionth ironic degree colder.


All-american, classical religion; a cult's worried storybook.
Gears grinding within a machine fit to sell.
The saint stays sinning while I rust nigh twin decades,.
Along the way,
Cemetery silence and  vesper's nine raised my entity centuries older.

Salt-water sea folds offer flooring,
Riverbed full-house cathedral; blasphemy.
I stand and mimic a missionary, touring.
Nostalgia.
This all reminds me of home, though now it's not we who sit in
permanent pews snoring.


Forgive my old identity and it's abuse of me.
Forgive me and my use of we,
That I don't seem dull for my mind's eye's sight strayed... For a few thoughts.

Retrospect depicts life lived selfishly in leisure.
Mocking, spitting in the kindest face still surrendering, and...
I'm lost and content, drowning in thought again.


Thought...
An infinite, sacred journal.
A closet, save a doorknob, because no key is needed inside the bedroom's housing our souls.
Where god's children fellowship among the angels.
Or those like us fall for demonic hypnosis, with no need to say farewell.

Thought.

A trap, a gravesite, a laboratory.
A map of your life, or the origin of our own self-inflicted boring.

Our thoughts are forever ours, under any circumstance.
Even those of us that greet the sun on a grim crossway sidewalk, shaking with violence,
Internal, external,
Cold and wet.

To compliment the poetic beaten bones,
holding in place sentences scribbled across worn cardboard that whimpers...
That whimpers something so human.
To regular passerby's this is meaningless and mediocre.
To the youth, a sick humor for spoiled wannabe's and jokers.

Personally, and with whole heart my pen exposes sorrow, empty of any patience left on a fabled morning for that imagined intersection, or that city.
I saw humanity in broken cursive ink,
Cursing under sighs I saw what connects it all in my eyes.

It will seem radical, and hollow in meaning but I feel there exists substance behind this being's...
Expression.
I say there is depth.
I spoke the universe in my interpretation of the cardboard sermon that read,
"I don't want your pity, I want your pennies".

Consider with I, 'thoughts', again.
I consider, that if anyone were to remember the phrase connecting both, with distaste or sympathy.

No war hero, no slave to addiction;
The most ancient ideas of enemies, but neither side fate favored on what's given.
Be witness to our ignorance,
Where one another we could give our petty...nothings.
To save a life, or many.
To save our world.

We submit no rag the value of one single rich,
Gift no population with hope to survive and forgive.

Millionaire beggars scatter 'round plenty,
And their wealth will stay fictional,
But don't you agree their thoughts have stayed many.
Their pockets are empty, save their thoughts, which are infinite, and continue.
Endlessly.
This is about the god ****** human race and the disease we bear.
And other stuff along those lines.
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2016
the internet wasn't originally intended as the playground for the young, who have no reason to convince themselves of a need to either dogmatise proper spelling, or proper diacritical-punctuation... hálo humpty-dumpty! utter that hark like a dragon!

i have something more volatile than atoms
to construct an atom bomb and
cite Oppenheimer -
i have letters as atoms, words as minor
twitches, and language as Samael:
the death-breathing harvesting resurrector...
  i call the film *a beautiful mind

a perfect case of a beautiful propaganda
machine that backfired...
  if that mathematician who died "tragically"
in car-crash was anything to go by
with having his negation of ease hijacked,
exemplified, magnified to scare the public,
then Gabriel must have been a really sweet
soothsayer in Muhammad's ear...
   because someone with that kind of imagination
to conjure up people should have never
worked for the emerging C.I.A. or F.B.I.:
but Walt ******* Disney... to be sure of it:
Bukowski run parallels with the story:
staying drunk: to keep up with the sober-imaginative
collective: i would have done the same...
can you believe i've passed the 50h mark
on not sleeping under a self-imposed
example of what's barely a scratch of the
siberian gulags?
                   can you imagine that i...
simply had a fetish for it? imagine being awake for
over 50 hours... and having a nearing-****
audacity to not fall asleep for a minute?
can you imagine the military rigour of such
an endeavour?
   must have been self-taught and therefore, very
much indie: selling to the highest bidder.
oh please don't take my literal Monday's worth
of vocabulary truthfulness on it:
i'll play truant on it:
   i don't have people-friendly devices to keep
up with gossip, the rule is:
you can only go mad once,
you can play double jeopardy with madness...
    talk going mad a second time...
        i'll talk about recreating carnage park
in essex... you know what's scary about
that horror movie? it happens at high-noon...
there's nothing eerie about the night...
with the night i think the solace of death
and the never-ending and the never-shifting queue
of names, dates, and the ultra sensitive invocations
of faking epitaphs, i mean, inscribing things
on graves the people who "own" the graves
never had the capacity to say, in the first place.
but you know what scared me about
the film carnage park? the first horror movie
based upon Hitchcock "resurrected" -
but it was never about it... there's no close-proximity,
you actually see the culprits face...
   the idea being: humanising the man executing
moral justification by tugging the guillotine
or pushing the switch on the electric chair...
it's all about moral ambiguity,
hence the horror is all about daylight,
daylight representing the quasi-assurance of your
own judgement: and could you do the justice
by bypassing all jurisprudence paperwork?
  daylight is important in this movie...
                 nothing is hidden, nothing is romantic,
because the man in question is a ******,
he's not a torturer... the invocation of agoraphobia
is seminal! no... subliminal! Greeks invented little
fears and allowed them to be wedded for magnification
given that theatre is extinct... little phobias
create big budget exploits...
   but this is a first of exploiting agoraphobia...
       and agoraphobia could only be exploited in
high-noon... when i think of night these days
i think of the j. r. r. tolkien romance novels of
what man once had... adventure...
these days? plain talk? tourism.
                            i never could think it could be done:
but apparently is has been done...
           the ever distant voyeurism is also gone...
how can anyone be voyeuristic in an agoraphobic space?
   you're basically knitting and deforming
a large space into a pixel... there's no sadism either,
no loch ness barrage of torture methods,
only what man employes to capture animals...
   it's militarism: solo...
        the true essence of a renegade:
   antidote to indoctrination...
             exemplified by the fact that no matter what
mask you give the horror, the mundaneness of it
doesn't go away: because it's not hidden,
  the placebo horror scenario -
          we fake hiding from it... horror these days
is medicinised by fantasy... which is the abhorrent
quality of our times: over-assurance...
    our times are too self-servient, too self-assured...
too comfortable... we're championing
arrogance, calling our predecessors incompetent
*******... oil on the flames? maybe...
                       we prefer to imagine dragons than
see actual dragons among us...
                       that's why we seem to begin with
congratulating dinosaurs into having begun
   as abstract spines that the serpents of our times are...
us? to our inheritors? brains in pickle jars.
we have already started the process of pickling ourselves
by extracting as much as we could from our being
and encoding it into artificiality...
        anyone with a global invasion tactic can easily
tap into this "economy"... it's not an encyclopedia...
it's an economised unitary model readied for
exploitation for invasion...
       do i share the film's culprit paranoia?
well... i share his defence of environmental study...
but having provided the most adequate striking-point
             with the utmost drama of cyber-warfare debate
and all counters against ourselves...
            would i choose this maniac over a wall st. yuppy?
          what's that... vomito ***** vs. huey & the news?
if only i was paranoid after having watched this
movie... i'd see it spread akin to the bubonic plague...
but it's apathy that's the bubonic plague:
since it's the most effective safety-mechanism virus...
you get that docile look and try to suddenly say huh?
with surprise, but you get a choking sensation
as if you just swallowed a hazelnut.
      people get these fantasies about other evolutionary
lifeforms... it's not ******* c.i.a. crap about
      everyone working for them being called mr. &
mrs. smith... just so they can dodge bullets
   and buy milk at their local supermarket...
                      without being asked for autographs and
selfies... and have you ever seen a film critique engaging
with a character that says very little, and then
hysterically laugh, with a sense of music akin to
playing front 242's album 06:21:03:11 up evil?
      the true test of horror is music... the visuals can
be Marquis de Sade in Disneyland... and no number
of groans will do it... if the music has
         transylvania's chant of the chastity of anti-sodomites
written all over it... you're in for a knee-jerker...
the diabolical thing about this film is that it
has the double-effect whether it's watched at night
or during the day... the first horror movie that
doesn't invoke close contact between predator and
the prey, along with not even making the night
as something orthodoxically necessary to craft
                                      horror thematism.
well... plus it's a testament to existentialism
in the case of the hostage being "unrightfully"
attested in a crime... the existentialist would
simply conjure up: possible bait / excuse and
unwillful thinking necessary for his own
             victimised self-reflecting-counter-via
the reflex-of-against-self-discriminatory-collective-input...
radical­ised into a reflex puritanism:
   abiding by cohort norms was not enough
                for the cohort minimum:
                    pyramidal elevation was necessary,
               and there was no human explanation
beyond certain matters, all else was justified
in the three digressions: diabolical, angelic or genius:
the madness only came when one claimed to
hear instructions from the devil, or from god,
                        or claimed to be a geniusº.
  disregarding the two fabrics of a self,
the one prior and the one post collective-input
    regarding a doctrine needing a "self", an "individual",
nevertheless: but a pawn.

      ºthere's no articulation of god, which is why
we have no article ascribing a definite or an indefinite
nature toward him, which is why paupers reduce this
argument, debase it to the level of pronouns -
the reason why we cite a genius and the devil...
is because only angels have names...
                              even the fallen ones...
           for they have a misnomer of god, as we have
a misnomer for many a good things.
Natalie Neo Oct 2014
At 4.03am
I was waken by the scar
you left years ago.

I thought I suppressed it well
It backfired.
It got stronger.

I'm concerned.
Obsessed actually.
Or you can say
Addicted.
A J May 2013
She tried to hard to be someone she was not,
it all backfired in a way,
Today's the day i speak out,
about what took her away.

She tried so hard to be something that she loved.

"Just a bit skinnier. Your mom would have loved that." Her mind whispered.

She tried to hard to be someone that she envied.

"A little more skinnier, all the girls will envy you." her mind whispered a little louder.

She tried to hard to be someone,
that just wasn't her.

"SKINNIER." Her mind now yelled.

The less she ate, the skinnier she got.

As she took her final breaths,
she slipped away to neverland...
Awaiting a peaceful death.
Zan Sep 2021
Is it stress?
Is that what keeps me tired?
Is that whats making me a mess?
Is that why everything backfired?

Is it stress?
Is that what makes me forget?
Is that what bounds me to my bed?
Is that why I always fret?
Is that what fills me with dread?
Makes me feel dead?

Is it stress?
Its just a me thing I guess.
Charles Berlin Mar 2010
I am swimming in my coffin,
A plush cage of silk and satin.
Hollow housing what's gone rotten
Cold vacuum of the forgotten.

Backfired plan, ran from a quagmire.
"Departure" from unquenched desire.
A notionless naivetty,
Breeds ambitionless apathy.

I'm placid, pallid, on the floor,
In yearning dreams from days of yore.
An idyllic end depicted,
To deep rooted pain inflicted.

Yet...

Curtains' fall is ill-begotten,
By memory I am sought in,
A cacophony, my casket.
No sanity can outlast it.
something about
the way you held me so loosely
like a hesitant father holds his abortion wished baby
arms dangling lifelessly around my inflating ribcage
{that little bright balloon i harbored so safely.}

yes,
i nestled it close to your unsheathed knife
waiting for the burst, an exclamation, a curse.

but that sound, it never rang out-
it bellyflop, backfired and hush hush hushed its way out of an entity.

something about you-
makes me want to-
litter i love you's like
lipstick stained cigarette butts
from the thrift store wardrobe to the over gesturing hands
you unraveled me like it was all a part of the plan.

i watch you through intermittent exhales and yearning eyes
nervously fumbling fingers through greasy hair.
placing my fingertip as gently as i can
on the single, strange spiral of ****** hair on your jaw
staring out at you across rippling sheets,
"this reminds me of starry night."
you nodded, said you knew-
but what could you possibly know about a masterpiece,
when you won't even bother to pick up your brush?

something about-
taking your contacts out,
our inability to communicate,
how you only come over after a few drinks
and never before sundown.
asking politely to kiss me, when your intentions blatantly
ask otherwise. and how thoughtlessly-
you walk through a room,
the vanishing unannounced cigarette act,
how quickly you use laughing to express, (or repress) yourself.

something about the anonymous demeanor of the stray hairs
you shed unintentionally in my bed.
feigning disgust, i flicked at them hard and carelessly when you were watching-
but when you're not. and it's late.
i pluck them slowly and sweetly and let them drift gracefully to the floor beneath.

forcing symbolism into everything
will very effortlessly destroy you.
nick armbrister Jul 2021
Coined Up
Maybe we will all be dead in 6 months
Due to being jabbed up with the vac
Which was to stop the CCP Virus
But it backfired due to the mushrooms
Which are a toxin and **** in many ways
Only the rabid anti vaccers will live
In a kaos driven world of lunatix
Do you want to exist then and there?
Toss a coin get a jab wait and see
Bharathi Devi Aug 2015
I can say I will climb the highest mountain for you,
But the highest I have climbed may be my neighborhood tree!
I can sing I will swim the deepest ocean with you,
But I always swam at the shallow end of the pool!
I can say I will run a marathon with you,
But, since I always walked, I may continue doing that.
I can say every day I will write a poem for you,
But, the last poem I wrote backfired magnificently.
So, all I can say is if I started it, and if you want it,
I will carry it forward as far as a human like me could…

©Bharathi Devi
Thomas Newlove Jun 2012
How can a war be ‘Great’ or ‘Civil’,
When people are sure to die?
Seen by God and the Devil,
Or simply through a child’s eye?

For how can a battle be won,
When the dead will eternally lose?
When cowering behind a gun,
Nobody has the right to choose.

Big men boast of intelligence,
They think they’re number one,
But even apes know the significance
Of Cowering behind a gun.

Is it simply because they’re beastly?
Their technology has backfired!
Their fighting simply disgusts me.
Like other children I am tired.

Why do rich men speak of victory?
Do they think the battle is won?
While these animals line their pockets,
There are children out there, like me,
Cowering behind a gun.
This was written a while ago... as I'm nearly 20 now :P
Ray Jan 2011
I've painted my lips with poison since an early age
Figuring it will prevent heartbreak
Yet when love came around, the tactic backfired
The poison was hooking them one by one
And I laughed as they dropped like flies
I laughed and walked away
Leaving a trail of damage behind
I laughed
If you would like to contact me, email me at raydioactivee@hotmail.com; please do not take my stuff, just ask :) and check out my blog and stuff :)

http://raydioactivee.tumblr.com/
Sairs Quinn Mar 2019
bouquet (n.): a bundle of daisies to my office you had sent.

parfait (n.): your favorite dessert after a whole day with me you spent.

cabaret (n.): the lies you performed while I watched you, center-stage.

ricochet (v.): the hurt that backfired after I realized I'd been played.
just a disclaimer: this series of poems probably won't be based on my own experiences; they're just fun little stories.
Julie Butler Nov 2015
I'm inside of the d*** on purpose;
the last couple of plates you've dropped
& kept eating from, and I wish you'd just be careful.

I only wanted for the grass on this side to stay green, but I certainly wouldn't have minded if you sat down.

I don't like trying to squeeze between your ribs but I know I left something good there.
Like, how I should have been less than a stranger the longer we kissed until it backfired and now it's the mouth making all of my decisions while your hand covers my heart.

& It was never about bodies /
I wouldn't know how to worship anything
& peace of mind has never been very gently priced so I'll overpay in the form of self destructive predicaments and overused adjectives, pretending everything's okay when I can't hear any of the rhymes anymore.
I've made mistakes,
More than I care to remember,

I'm the only one
That I can blame,
I began making them
The year that I was born--43 years ago
In December.

My intentions,
Where always, to do good,
But somehow it always backfired,

Someone always got hurt -
Usually me!
I think it's the way
That I was built and wired.

God knows how hard I always tried,
But I never could get it right,

Selfish people's darkness
would always drown my sunshine
and steal my daylight.

I never wanted to hurt a soul,
But I only had two choices:
Make someone else happy--and be miserable!

Or,

Make choices,
So that I may be happy--and become invisible!

I was never a bad person - On the contrary,
I was too good!

The biggest mistake I ever made,
Was not doing what I wanted -
What I knew, I should.

The moral of this little story
Is quite simple to understand...

Be a kind, good-natured human,
But don't live your life on demand!

I would love to say
That I have no regrets,

But I can't lie to anyone,
Or to myself;
You see, my heart...
It never, ever, forgets.

~ I'm slowly learning how to forgive myself
for not getting everything right,

I've had help from my precious children,
And from my man...
'Cause, having them, means...
That I got the most important part right!

By Lady R.F ©2016
Eliza Aug 2014
When was the last time you talked to God?
Was it a time you thanked Him?
For the things you have received without asking.
For the air you breathe every morning.
Was it a time you repented?
For the sins you have unconsciously done.
And for the sins you have been consciously repeating.
Was it a time you were angry?
For the things that backfired because of your own doing.
For the tribulations flooding in.
Was it a time you were begging to Him?
For the person you admire to notice you.
For your heart to heal after a devastating heartbreak.

The last time I talked to God
Was when I told Him
How my day went,
How I love sleeping to the sound of the rain,
How I love reading and writing poems that rhyme,
And made an exception for this one.
The Exception Jun 2012
If I had one wish..
I would throw my heart into the ocean in hopes that I never get it back

If I had a second wish..
I would ask for a better heart in hopes of having a better start

This pretty brown eyed girl was looking all alone
didn't have a friend, but didn't feel alone.
I thought I'd take her in, under my wings
let her know I really care and show her a few things.
The plan all went twisted and backfired,
the way that she looked and talked to me
began to be something that I admired.
Then she let me down
because she wouldn't come around
she stole my heart
and now its nowhere to be found.
That's why I don't want it,
if she has my heart she can have it.
I can't grow another one,
would it matter anyway? The damage has been done.
I figured out how she did it
she's steals your heart and
lets someone else fall in love with it.

Its the game she uses, when she wants to flirt
uses everyone else just so she's not hurt
but what does that make her worth?
about as much as the guys she says she doesn't like, jerks.
devante moore Jul 2015
There's a lot of pain in her eyes
She tried to hold all it back
But it showed when she cried
She was promised happiness
But It was all a lie
She believed in happy endings
Just not in fairy tales
She burned the pages of her own story
Believed she could start a new
Looking into her eyes
The unwritten story was sown
Painfully crystal blue
Tried love but it backfired Camouflage her hurting behind a smile  
But every once in awhile
You could see the pain In her eyes
Third Eye Candy Jun 2017
I came to Summer's Orphanage after a spat.
Fair weather was upon Us. but -
We conjured ill Will,
even as we kissed.
so ponder that.

my tonic had backfired. and that was that.
we crushed all the lilies there, where -
we we're entangled in
suspect Glee.

if it came too that.

but the arguments were embraced
and all the butterflies were slain
for frisking the pockets
of our brief
Faith.

and the Sun came up, regardless.
Frosted Flowers Sep 2013
I remember my first year
so eager, so happy
Grinning from ear to ear
Forging new friendships
And soon we were joined at the hips
Gaining new knowledge and skills
Absorbed like water through gills


But soon my fairytale turned bad
My mind started going mad
My friends stabbed me in the back
And my heart is now cracked
This second yaer is a nightmare
My plan backfired right there
If only my life would rewind
From life I want to **resign
This is my two years of secondary school life
Jake Espinoza Sep 2012
I woke up in a cell for the second time in my life not wondering how I managed it again because I
        knew what I did this time.
Drove back from another nights of drinks and dances and smokes
        Kissing the lips I thought I’d never kiss again, maybe
Telling lies and climbing stairs to avoid making people move for me
        So they’ll remember and move for me later when I need it.
People passing substances I’m not supposed to see or consume or be around
        To a degree, at least
                because a few men and the State of Michigan said so
                and I’m bound to their word because of my lifelong place of residence
                and the people who elect to keep things from change.
I sat in that former attic
        The very place where I’ve committed such acts and slept soundly.
Took two on the way home and lost myself on the road
I slipped and slipped. The miles slowly spread my mind out on the highway
        to the point where nothing was left behind my eyes.
The signals sent from the two black holes on the front of my face
They tried to ignite the synapses of sense and caution and consciousness
        but forgot the spread of sense on the highway that the two and ten brought to be
        and so backfired, backed up with nowhere to go but shrivel and dissolve through the dead
                nerve ends
        and spilled out my eyes til I could no longer see.
I don’t know how my mind found its way back into my head after being spread so thin over the asphalt
        Disbelief and depression and shame came with it –
        I suppose some of that must’ve been on the road
        along with a longing for the mattress I’ve dirtied over the years
                the one on the second story of the place I’ve dirtied for years
        Yeah, that one, all the way north of where I wasn’t supposed to be
I did a couple hours’ worth of things I wanted to do.
        I may have to trade a year for that if the high demon woke up to heavy traffic.
I have these three sins gathered under my skin, sticking out quietly.
Again I’ll stand before, and I’ll stand before another
        to receive the boredom and discomfort this state of land and collective mind sees fit
        to pass out to a kid who passed out two times too many.
Do we dare to tell
Our secrets to the uninitiated
Afraid to dance
We took a chance and it backfired
I know that sometimes
I can be impossible to tolerate
And if we congratulate ourselves
Too often, we will be mistaken
For unfaithful lovers
So please do not awaken us
No matter what time the clock says
Matthew Vera Apr 2010
Day in, day out, Life goes by
Sometimes, showing you every detail.
You notice every flower, every specific aspect.
But, like most, my Life is a blur.
Minutes pass into hours
Hours into days.
Days into years.
I try to stop the monotony
But every effort I put forth
Is shot down, or backfired.
"In the end, everything's gonna be okay"
That’s what they say.
It's hard to believe, when day-by-day
Life continues the same boring way
I guess it'll work out, I guess it'll be okay.
It's hard to see, it's hard to breathe.
But I'll make it through till the end.
You'll see, because I'll be there,
When you are beginning to leave,
Crossing over that no return line.
To wave you goodbye.

— The End —