Sep 2012
I woke up in a cell for the second time in my life not wondering how I managed it again because I
knew what I did this time.
Drove back from another nights of drinks and dances and smokes
Kissing the lips I thought I’d never kiss again, maybe
Telling lies and climbing stairs to avoid making people move for me
So they’ll remember and move for me later when I need it.
People passing substances I’m not supposed to see or consume or be around
To a degree, at least
because a few men and the State of Michigan said so
and I’m bound to their word because of my lifelong place of residence
and the people who elect to keep things from change.
I sat in that former attic
The very place where I’ve committed such acts and slept soundly.
Took two on the way home and lost myself on the road
I slipped and slipped. The miles slowly spread my mind out on the highway
to the point where nothing was left behind my eyes.
The signals sent from the two black holes on the front of my face
They tried to ignite the synapses of sense and caution and consciousness
but forgot the spread of sense on the highway that the two and ten brought to be
and so backfired, backed up with nowhere to go but shrivel and dissolve through the dead
nerve ends
and spilled out my eyes til I could no longer see.
I don’t know how my mind found its way back into my head after being spread so thin over the asphalt
Disbelief and depression and shame came with it –
I suppose some of that must’ve been on the road
along with a longing for the mattress I’ve dirtied over the years
the one on the second story of the place I’ve dirtied for years
Yeah, that one, all the way north of where I wasn’t supposed to be
I did a couple hours’ worth of things I wanted to do.
I may have to trade a year for that if the high demon woke up to heavy traffic.
I have these three sins gathered under my skin, sticking out quietly.
Again I’ll stand before, and I’ll stand before another
to receive the boredom and discomfort this state of land and collective mind sees fit
to pass out to a kid who passed out two times too many.
knew what I did this time.
Drove back from another nights of drinks and dances and smokes
Kissing the lips I thought I’d never kiss again, maybe
Telling lies and climbing stairs to avoid making people move for me
So they’ll remember and move for me later when I need it.
People passing substances I’m not supposed to see or consume or be around
To a degree, at least
because a few men and the State of Michigan said so
and I’m bound to their word because of my lifelong place of residence
and the people who elect to keep things from change.
I sat in that former attic
The very place where I’ve committed such acts and slept soundly.
Took two on the way home and lost myself on the road
I slipped and slipped. The miles slowly spread my mind out on the highway
to the point where nothing was left behind my eyes.
The signals sent from the two black holes on the front of my face
They tried to ignite the synapses of sense and caution and consciousness
but forgot the spread of sense on the highway that the two and ten brought to be
and so backfired, backed up with nowhere to go but shrivel and dissolve through the dead
nerve ends
and spilled out my eyes til I could no longer see.
I don’t know how my mind found its way back into my head after being spread so thin over the asphalt
Disbelief and depression and shame came with it –
I suppose some of that must’ve been on the road
along with a longing for the mattress I’ve dirtied over the years
the one on the second story of the place I’ve dirtied for years
Yeah, that one, all the way north of where I wasn’t supposed to be
I did a couple hours’ worth of things I wanted to do.
I may have to trade a year for that if the high demon woke up to heavy traffic.
I have these three sins gathered under my skin, sticking out quietly.
Again I’ll stand before, and I’ll stand before another
to receive the boredom and discomfort this state of land and collective mind sees fit
to pass out to a kid who passed out two times too many.
