You inspire me think in poetry,
Lyrics I have cycling through my mind
And I'll never share them with you.

12/19/15

I keep music loud to silence voices caught on repeat.
And I can't see with all these colors flashing in front of me.
They keep me awake with their constant cries for attention
Fantasy and reality mix together far too easily
A past life tugs at my mind
Telling me how to live the one ahead of me.

12/19/15

I know you're trying to be nice,
And I know you're just nervous,
But I'll never treat you the way you deserve.

You curse the world,
Then go praise me,
I'm not the person you want me to be.

Babe, you know
You can always climb under my skin, you know my heart plays for you a song, my brain is at your disposal.
Strip my lies, my feelings, my identities. You tear them so they melt away.
Dig down find
Your shovel hit a rock, maybe treasure. My center, my skeleton, that's all I have to give. I can't promise you will wander further than that, but it's your choice to get there, your choice to take.

We were waiting when we met.
I turned and you sat.
And we were both in transition,
You bobbed your head to the station.
I bit my lip because I knew you were watching,
We met eyes; You tried dodging.
They called your name, then mine too,
A little piece that we now knew.
For you they sent
You stood and went,
Perhaps we'll meet again,
Knowingly they watched, and then,
I imagined how you'll bloom
As we waited in separate rooms.

Sometimes you make me want to die
Because no one can hate a dead girl.
Then it'd just be sad and I'd be only a waste of talent and life.
But even death cannot solve problems
As it's bound to only cause more.
And besides, it would never grant you the ability to see things from my point of view.
You'd only lay the blame on someone else because that's what you do.
But I don't want to die.
I'm scared for my life that I won't live,
Actually live- something further than simply surviving.
Is this the angst of every fledgling I feel?
I want to jump
And fly
Because there is no cure for every problem.
There is push on
And there is pray.

Where you from?
He asked,
Can I get you a drink? Wine?
She said she liked red

He watched her
From across the table.
Eyes lingered on her lips.
She said she liked red.

Playing cards,
The room was filled with smoke.
He offered a Marlboro
She said she liked red.

And when they left,
He told her he had a car.
She went because
She said she liked red.

In a hotel room,
As she unzipped her dress
For his hungry gaze.
She said she liked red.

And when his blood dripped
From her hands
And it was done,
She said she liked red.

Dad,
You don't get me,
You never have.
When I ran away,
Were you even sad?
Dad,
You wanted me gold,
I tarnished in your hands.
I fell through your fingers
Like grains of sand.
Dad,
You don't get me.
Especially not when
I told you to call me
Kylo Ren.