Unknown

Unknown Nov 2018

I am simply misunderstood.
People assume I'm weird because I'm quiet,
That I'm a freak because I prefer to keep to myself than beg for attention.

What they don't understand is that I don't trust others easily, which means I avoid every human possible.

What they don't understand is that I have anxiety and it is so difficult to talk to new people.

But like every new person that enters my life, they assume and I am once again left misunderstood.

this year has been very hard for me, for many reasons. However, this is probably the biggest one for me.

#misunderstood #sad #anxiety #scared #trust #loyalty #new #people #society #family

Unknown Oct 2018

"you don't love me."

today, my father claimed that my family does not love him.
that he is alone in this life,
that no one stands besides him through his struggles.

i try to convince myself that it is just his depression talking,
i try to convince myself that he would never think that,
however - how much more can i convince myself, when my own father has said he may aswell leave this earth because no one loves him?

pain, pain and more pain.
how much longer can this go for?
we give him all this love and attention, yet it does nothing.
im at my witsend.
god, someone help me!

this is one of my more darker and vulnerable poems - im truly at the end of the line and i dont know what else to do but express how i feel through these ****** poems.

#family #broken #love #heart #lost #depression #anxiety #mood #help #god

Unknown Oct 2018

I Don't Love Myself.

I have finally come to the conclusion,
that I do not love myself.
that I don't love the way i smile,
or talk,
or laugh.

I hate that I am quite,
that I'm introverted and
would rather prefer to spend my days alone,
rather than surrounded by people.

I'm trying to improve how I view myself,
however, how do you change your perspective
when you have been living it for years?

to those that dont love themselves. this has been my biggest struggle this year.

#love #no #sad #quite #shy #introvert #alone #hate #disgust

Unknown Oct 2018

Lost.

recently i have been feeling lost,
as if i dont belong anywhere,
that i dont have a home,
or a family,
or friends.

with this, i feel lonely that even when
i look up at the stars that once bought me comfort and joy,
now bring my misery and sorrow.

it feels as though i have a void in my chest,
that pains at the thought of the life i am living
and i just want to be left alone.
no one around,
just me
and
the sound of rain beating against my window.

something i have been feeling for quite some time.

#lonely #unhappy #lost #family #friends #sad #rain #anxiety #alone #misery

Unknown Sep 2018

i now truly know

I now truly know what it means to see everything in your life falling apart, and not being able to do anything about it.

I now truly know how it feels to see your mother break down in front of you, grieving about the happy life she once lived.

I now truly know what it looks like to see your father lose himself to his depression.

I now truly know that life has it's own course and it is inevitable that my family will find happiness.

I now truly know.

everything thing in my life is falling apart and i have no control over it.

#family #broken #heart #depression #mother #crying #grieving #sobbing #help #anxiety

Unknown Jul 2018

The 'Quiet Girl'

I will forever and always be known as the 'quiet girl',
the one that does not talk,
is too quiet for her own good,
and is considered weird.

"why don't you talk?" they ask,
"you're so emotionless, talk more."
"smile more."

your words hurt me, over and over again.
why will no one accept me for the way I am?
your very own words make me hate myself.

hate how quiet I am,
hate how I enjoy being in my own thoughts,
hate who I am as a person.

even when I try to talk more, you knock me down with your -
"wow, she's actually talking."
because being 'quiet' isn't cute nor hot to others.

I will forever and always be known as the "quiet girl"
and I f e a r that I will always hate myself for being quiet.

for those who feel as though they are judged by their quietness, for those who feel like no one understands and accepts the way they are.

side note: this is a huge problem I have been dealing with this year and I encourage you to use your words nicely and maybe approach someone if they look lonely. it makes us feel like someone actuallycares about us.

#quiet #judged #lonely #hateful #words #fear #forever #problem #anxiety

Unknown May 2018

Imagine Anxiety.

anxiety isnt cute,
****,
attractive
or
relatable.

its a mental disorder to which people suffer
from every single day of their lives.

anxiety is horrifying,
scary,
unpredictable
and
fearful.

If you want to have anxiety because it is 'cool' - then imagine the feeling of drowning, feeling as though your lungs are filled with water and have collapsed and you are trying with every bone in your body to breath, but you cant. Now imagine your mind going into a frenzy. Panicking, screaming to calm down but you can't because your mind has fallen into flight or fight and you are stuck. Stuck in your own mind. Your body trembling, your hands shaking and you begin to feel light headed as your brain is not getting enough oxygen.

Now imagine, having to experience that same feeling. Every. Single. Day. Over a huge sitaution that may seem small to others, or sometimes - over nothing.

Now does this seem 'cool' or 'attractive' to you?

After hearing all of this, would you like to have anxiety too?

thought the need to educate some people on their use of anxiety.

#anxiety #imagine #shaking #trembling #mental #illness #disorder #help