She was like music,
and I longed to dance.

Her heart was the beat,
and I begged for the chance.

Her words were the vocals,
and I was put in a trance.

Her smile was the melody,
and I fell in love at first glance.

Dee let the dew
Be
Me
And     You

Until
We
Free   Fall
From the tallest tree

Changing into other
Water
Beads
Nourishing our progeny

Slow, fast, slow, fast.
My mind moves in circles every time that you walk past.
But then we're a messy tangle of muddled limbs --
Your bony edges on my pale, pale skin,
And **** it, I let you in,
As if the world will wait for us to separate
Before daring to turn again.

Is it my turn again?
To be the one to calm your anxious mind,
To pull the end to help unwind, unravel those fears
Held in cavities left untraveled since braver, younger years --
But now it's time.

Pause the pain, halt the worry,
I'm still right here, no need to hurry!

Intimacy need not be cause to panic any longer.
I once was weak, but I've grown stronger --
Stronger with the smiles you share in the early morning,
My hair in your face and the tension forming
Until we decide to breathe as one for a while or two.
Somehow, I never grow tired of you --
Rather, tired with you.

And we'll stay in bed all day and throw our lonely lives away,
Convincing ourselves that hiding under blankets can stop the clocks --
Drowning out the ticking sounds with our legs interwoven,
Our desperate lips forever locked.

Or so it seems, but we both know exactly how this all will go...
But oh, I hope that this'll last.
Out of all the slows, let this not go fast.

tearing apart the flesh
peeling back skin
the cold juices
splash your lips as
i watch you undress an orange
wondering
do you love me like this?

You pull the love out of me,
Like scientists harvest the silk of a spider,
Pinned down, days of freedom behind,
nailed to the bed arms outstretched,
How does it feel?
Nailed down there with precision?
Unmoving all strength gone,
Arachne's curse unbound onto me,
In me,
Out of me,
and in the walls,
You pull and you pull,
Weaving your own gossamer dream,
Of silken castles and fort walls,
Do you even want to feel?
No sirens for you to save.
Dancing with death at my traitorous embrace,
Dreams are so flammable,
and so is your heart,
The sparks of feeling,
Undo so much.
Last night somebody loved me --
and undid every word.

T
  O
      X
          I
             C
You're facing me, but your eyes are no where to be found.
Yes, you are facing me but your face is featureless.
All that's visible is your beard and the lips it protects.
T
  O
      X
          I
             C
sludge pours from your gaping mouth.
A dark purple, thick liquid dripping slowly down your chin.
Most of the sludge makes a home in your beard,
just like my fingers used to burrow inside
and gently scratch the skin hiding underneath.
You used to love that.
T
  O
      X
          I
             C
sludge is never ending.
Yet, this pool calls out to me,
as if to say "paint in my missing features."
T
  O
      X
          I
             C
sludge smells sweet but sticks to my fingers.
I try to paint in your eyes but am stopped,
for I am unable to remember what your eyes look like.
Your mouth begins moving,
but there is no sound;
no words forming at the tip of your
T
  O
      X
          I
             C
lips.
Of all details of you,
I remember your lips.
Kissing you was effortless.
Our lips would lock and never depart.
Your mouth always tasted of sugar; sweet, but too sweet.
Months of being tongue tied left me with cavities.
Your lips no longer look inviting when
T
  O
      X
          I
             C
sludge continuously flows from them.
Looking closer now,
I can see letters forming at the tip of your tongue.
Too afraid to explore your mouth with my own once again,
I use ******* to gently pick up the letter.
M
Confused, I look again as more letters appear.
O-N-S-T-E-R
M
   O
      N
         S
           T
             ­ E
                 R
was your favorite pet name for me.
In our most
T
  O
      X
          I
             C
moments, I became the girl in your nightmares.
I  became a
M
   O
      N
         S
           T
              E
         ­        R
I at least was only a
M
   O
      N
         S
           T
              E
         ­        R
in your nightmares.
Every waking day you were,
and always will be
T
  O
      X
          I
             C