Every day is a new day, yes,
But all of my days after you
Are now all filled with fear.

Every day I worry you will find me,
I worry that not only will you find me,
You will **** me.

You wouldn’t **** me with your words,
If that was the case I’ve been dead for years.
But you’ll attack me with those strong, calloused hands of yours.

You’ll take one look at me and your face will change to anger
And you’ll reach at my neck and choke me until I can no longer breathe.

Or you’ll start with a punch to my gut,
You’ll black out and beat me until I lie motionless on the street.
And you’ll leave and never look back.

Today,
Today is a new day.
Today is a very bad day.

Today,
I see you for the first time in years.
I pray for the first time, hoping you haven’t seen me.

Maybe I should have prayed earlier on in my life,
Because within seconds,
I feel your gaze on me.

I feel hot,
Yet frozen,
Frozen in fear.

My heart is beating heavily against my chest,
I cannot catch my breath
As I’m struggling to think of what to do next.

Before my mind has a chance to disagree,
I run out of the store I didn’t remember walking into,
And run through the parking lot to my car.

I can hear your feet hitting the pavement,
You’re screaming my name with disbelief,
Not yet with the anger I was surely convinced I would hear.

I reach my car,
Fumbling with the keys,
I manage to open my door before you get to me.

As I’m closing the door,
You force it open.
You beg and plead for me to explain why I left.

Why I left you,
Why I no longer love you,
And why I am deathly afraid of you.

I look up at you,
Thinking of whether I should tell you the truth.
Instead, I decided to stand up to you.

“I don’t owe you anything.”
You reach down into my car to grab me,
I let out a shriek and tried to close the door.

But you were standing in the way.
The top corner of the door frame hit you in the head,
You reel backwards.

At this moment,
I realize what I have done.
I have put myself into even more danger.

Your face flashes quickly between pain to anger.
I close the door, successfully this time,
Put the key into the ignition and start my car.

I lock my doors before you started pulling on the handles,
Using all of your weight you try to pry the door open.

After trying unsuccessfully to get in you walked away,
I finally feel at peace.
You’ve left me be.

Peace didn’t last long.
You only left long enough to find a rock,
A rock big enough to break my window.

You hurl the large rock into my backseat window,
I shriek as you scream profanities at me.
I try to start driving out of the parking lot, but before I could, your hands are around my neck.

Your grip grows tighter and tighter with every new word screamed at me,
I dig my long nails into your skin, trying to set myself free.

I should have known there’s no escape from you.
I cannot breathe,
I’m gasping,

Gasping for air,
Gasping for help,
Gasping for my last chance at life.

I feel weak,
I cannot move,
I’m drifting in and out of reality.

The last thing I hear is his voice quietly whispering my name,
Followed by “I’m sorry.”

And everything turns dark.

Light streams through the window,
Beckoning her to come out of the dim.
A spotlight on her blank canvas;
She was yearning to see him.

Oil, water and paint blend
With her blood, sweat and tears,
Slowly and agonizingly dripping
From her brush, brows and ears.

Then there he is, tall and bright;
A sun-kissed face dressed in a golden vase.
She painted his image in sunflowers:
He's her masterpiece no one can recreate.

Understand the noise
to value the
silence.