I look at city lights
in the distance
They flicker
but quickly come back
and I feel that someone
somewhere understands
while the night air
awakens my warm skin
It gives us hope
new life

I get you
we're one
I feel your essence
and you feel mine
and my loneliness
in crowded spaces
with eyes pretending
to understand my thinking
and my pain
and my mending
You get me
get my anger
and my shame
and my torment
and how everything hurts
my skin tense
like needles are stuck in it
and tearing it apart
and i think i exaggerate
and i make up things in my mind
to try and survive
all the horrible darkness
the average human knows
but you tell me
that it's fine
it is mine
I'll survive
day by day
step by step
and that this pain is real
though it can't be seen
and i tell myself that i fake it
but it causes me to cry
at random times at night
when all else is still
but all is blurry inside
and i get a sense of clarity
when i'm hurting
cause i'm trying
to make sense of my reality
and you get me
and it's alright
and we promise each other
we'll be fine

I have never seen darkness
like yours
So palpable
Menacing
Terrorizing me
hauling my choice
to ever forgive it

It felt like a knife
inches away
breathing on my neck
cold like the dead
that never said goodbye

I had to fight it
stand rightous to its madness
keep it contained
like blood spilling
from my hands cupped
trying so hard
to just
save it

And I won
or i thought i did
but the darkness remained
still kept me hostage
behind your back
you didn't notice
you didn't see it
the bruise from impact
the apathy covering
hiding sheltering
the obnoxious selfish heaving
of my trapped naked self
shivering
enveloped by darkness
The one that almost took your life
The one that ruined our night
that still holds me tight
as i try to survive

I find that I can't
just erase nor scratch off
all my feelings
for You