Perfect creature
shining sky eyes
of fulfilling life a teacher
of the sweetest smiles
that taste like cherry

Forever held in that moment
like a Goddess
with my feelings growing
even more for every promise

and your arms closed around me
as you teach me how to dance
and for your beauty has no end
i bow down to your every glance

sand flows down from your head
in curls and sways that pool on your bed
where we laid in friendship as we promised 'cause my heart was on fire but you didn't notice

your smooth ivory fingers
would comb through my hair
and your touch still lingers
but to reciprocate i didn't dare

I was fine with just your eyes
though I shied from them all the time,
your love afterall couldn't possibly be mine
all my time wasn't worth a dime

And I miss your warmth and tears
I miss your smile and your fears
And now I think if we'de been here
we would have stayed a hundred years

Thirty days and thirty nights
i spent in agony
panicking
suffocating
this pain isn't unfamiliar
with its sharpness
and nauseating consistency
i pray in fear to my higher self
to be stronger this time
but my hands are shaking
and i receive no answers
No one else gives you courage
gives you strength
like you can do
No one else can give you change
to make it easier for you
Only you
Only me

Dragons, witches, monarchs' sons
all of them forcing me to run
never allowing acceptance nor grief
no people involved, only politics

With things like this I must say
all that I had was yours to take
and my life too I would gift you
if only death had not coloured you blue

Early as the sun when it shines first
a beam of light from your smile could burst
and the warmth of it would haunt me for days
as did your words when you begged me, "stay"

And I would hold you tight
through day and night
if only it might
lock us still forever in time

But, golden hair shines no more
and blue eyes are known through ancient lore,
but as the old man who walks the shore
your presence is still intact in my core

It usually starts like this
My heart beats loud and angry
cracking my bones crushing my chest
My breath escapes me
empties my lungs as if i have run
My mind creates a thought
a terrible thought
then exchanges it for another
and another and another
moving too fast making it hard
to follow the line of thought
that causes my lips to bleed
from where my teeth bite them
and to others i look calm
barely pensive
maybe stressing
but my body is still like rock
and hot like fever
it can't catch up with my thoughts
and the voices in my head
i didn't do enough i didn't stop it
i didn't care enough why didn't i drop it
it should be me suffering not you
suffocating in cluttering feelings
and conversation smothering
everything you are

And then
I hear you
and You are fine 
just too busy
to answer my calls
So it falls
My chest from where it was tensing
And I
breath

Your scarf still smelled like you
So I wrapped it around my neck
for the rest of the night
and let myself imagine it was you