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tryhard Jan 2020
my biggest fantasies involve
playing magician and assistant
make myself disappear into thin air
without an onlooking audience
to wonder why or how
explanations withheld
run off to nowhere
only to realize
nobody is chasing me
and the only thing
i am running away from
is myself
wanted to call this "drapetomania" but felt like it could be insensitive, so for now it's "untitled #3" until i find a more suitable title (edit: finally changed the title!)
tryhard Jan 2020
the sky is taunting me
so blue and bright
and i wonder how
it could be two things at once
tryhard Jan 2020
my regrets are as vast as the ocean
as far as the eyes can see
as deep as the undiscovered dark
i have been drowning in them lately
and it has rained as i tried to swim ashore
i cannot find safe harbor
no island in sight
they told me the lighthouse was working
but here underwater
all i see is darkness
lately i've been wondering
why i wrecked my own ship
i guess i will have to die here
in a sea of monsters and storms
in an ocean of my own misery
tryhard Jan 2020
avoid risks
and question the existence
of any type of danger

run from warmth
and wonder why
i am tired of the cold

keep myself quiet
and yet choke on the words
i would rather leave unsaid

rip my heart out
to ease the heaviness
of a love i cannot carry

feign disappearing
to avoid facing
the misery of a life unlived
tryhard Jan 2020
you arrived unexpectedly
like some sort of calamity
maybe an earthquake or a tsunami
assured i was prepared
for whatever havoc
you would cause
but i never saw it coming
flooding my senses
you were all around me
and as the ground shook below
i fell with no one to catch me
and not much noticed
but with all these walls
i could have built a city
keep it locked and guarded
then you showed up with a key
surprising how you opened it
i could have sworn it was rusty
were you surprised too
when you looked inside
and found everything empty
you see
it was never a question
of casualty or severity
for how could you destroy something
that was too shattered already
i hate how corny i've become and i hope i get well soon ****

ps i know technically tsunamis can be predicted but this is poetry so uhh i took some ~artistic liberties~
tryhard Dec 2019
no wait, i swear it's in here somewhere
this is a cry for help ha ha ha i can't find my heart
tryhard Dec 2019
for all the doubts and second thoughts
for all the failures and the loss
know that there is a reason
you are still here
know that despite it all
you overcame your fears

for falling short and falling behind
for living in the dark
and yet seeing the light
for countless nights
knocked down on your knees
and yet in the morning standing with peace

for thinking you've been buried
underground for so long
for discovering that actually
you've been planted all along
you need to see, you have to know
honey, you were made to grow
this was sitting in my notes app since december 2018 and just thought i'd post it here
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