you have discovered
you can travel through time
but your favorite place
was always the past
déja vu
you go in loops
reliving what was

remembering is a curse
for feet that desire
to move forward
and eyes that can only
look back
you cannot spit out
the bittersweet taste

this place is barren
but the ghosts you left behind
walk its empty streets
and you keep visiting
to see the love you lost
with flowers on its grave
ones you do not recognize

the present is a place
that seldom interests you
you walk backwards
towards it
you are still welcome
and the gates are open
if you ask for the key

the future cares for you
cannot wait to see your face
you have gone weary
from your travels
going further and further back
you can return any time
but here you will be loved

let the tears i have shed
water the flowers by my feet
i have stepped on my own growth
for far too long
that i have been content
in hiding beneath the ground

let me fall to my knees
and break my bones
i have learned to piece myself together
again and again
after believing i'd remain shattered
for lifetimes on end

let the pain in my body
mark all the ways by which
i have tried to destroy myself
the bruises have left and gone
and yet i am still here
winning against myself

let me feel alive despite it all
because if you told me
when i was younger
that things will get better
i would never have believed
so let me stay a little while

i want to be here for me

at times
i have to remind myself
i am here
right now
i exist
in a million possible times
in a million possible places
in a million possible bodies
i am here
and so
i am struggling
trying to find the why
trying to find a reason
of all the possible times
of all the possible places
of all the possible bodies
sometimes i do not understand
why now
why here
why me

there is no redemption for the hopeless
let me hang my head in shame
there is no redemption for the hopeless
these wounds at least let me feel pain

after the battle leave me here to die
i never deemed myself a hero or a knight
why can't you see i cannot win this fight
this coward's only weapon is to hide

there is no redemption for the hopeless
let me accept my defeat
there is no redemption for the hopeless
i lost when i tried to cheat

let me suffer here for all my sins
grace no longer has a place for this monstrosity
i am sentenced a lifetime of being me
the lashings give it all away on my skin

there is no redemption for the hopeless
it took me a while to see
that there is no redemption for the hopeless
because the real enemy here is me

me and you
you and i
we didn't notice
time fly by
you fell for me
and i for you
but both of us
we never knew
you and i
me and you