-eat
-drink
-sleep
-try not to think

i wasn't looking for love
in fact i was drowning in self-hate
i thought i was too much to handle
like a hot pan
but then you crossed my path
and the moment i set eyes on you
i knew there was something about you
i knew i had to talk to you
and now here we are
i'm deeply in love with you
and that's not something
i thought i would be saying
anytime soon

you and the stars are so alike. so stunningly amazing. and i find my self gazing in awe at you. because i fall more and more for you every day. and like the stars, i always know at the end of the day, you’ll always be there for me.

never
ever
let someone make you feel bad
or upset
over a choice that makes you happy
and feel free

it’s not that i don’t trust you
i just have trust issues
i guess i’m trying to say it’s not you
it’s me
or does that just sound too cliche?

everything will be okay
a reassuring phrase
used by
people
that don't possibly know
the outcome
or
the future

it can be so incredibly amazing
yet so incredibly isolating
to realize you’re one of a kind
and no one will understand your mind

i rarely use the word happy anymore
because i’ve realized what a temporary
thing it is
it’s funny i think i’ve use it in the past
to make others happy
i’m sorry that i can’t be happy
for you
because i can’t be happy
for myself
so used to this low dark feeling
that feeling good is unsettling
if a tree falls in the woods alone
with no one to hear it
does it still make a sound?

now tell me
what is the point of loving
when it can bring such pain
like a ball and chain
we've all come accustomed to
dragging our selfs forward
like zombies under a spell
why do we fall in love
only to scrape our knees and hands
and learn to love the pain
are we
as humans
in love with people
or in love with the idea of love
the idea of someone to hold
the idea of cheesy rom-com-like dates
do we love to feel pain?
or do we love, to feel pain?

sometimes it's easier to nod your head and say you're fine,
than to try to explain what's on your mind

i can't imagine my life without you
actually
i'm imagining that right now
and there's tears running down my face

why is it
that i could have everything i'd ever want
but i still feel empty
like there's a puzzle piece missing
and everything
comes back to you
because you're the only thing i don't have
and you completed me
but now i'm left broken
picking up the broken pieces and nicking my fingers like they were the thorns from the roses you gave me
when you said you loved me
you crossed your fingers behind your back
and you were only transparent
to others around me
because when they saw right through you
i saw a broken heart that i took in and tried to fix
but it was all a lie
an illusion
a spell
that i was under
and you were a wicked witch
i thought i could fix you
thought i could make you better
but i only hurt myself
trying to fix someone
too far gone
and so now she's gone
and now i'm empty
and tell me why through all of this
you're the only thing keeping me empty

you told me not everyone is mentally ill
and i stopped to think
i couldn't imagine what that feels like
do they wake up smiling
or is it just a facade
can they hold a conversation
without spacing out
do day to day tasks
without getting overwhelmed
it's just really hard to imagine
but then again
i don't even understand
my own mind

this love
it may not be conventional
but it is my love
it is your love
it is our love
and baby
so long as you're mine
and so long as i'm yours
this love
our love
is more than i could ever
have wanted
or believed
i deserve

when we were kids
we always dreamed of being old
being vets or police or doctors
and being free
from the terrible place called school
but what we didn’t know
was how hard it would be
we didn’t know
you had to work just to find a living
we didn’t know
just how free we were

i’m not the bad guy you make me out to be
that’s just what you like to believe
something in you brings out the worst in me
sadly that’s the only part of me you’ll be able to see
so next time you’re pointing fingers
look at your soul in a mirror
because there i hope you’ll discover
how it felt to be your lover

there's so many beautiful things in the world
works of art in fact
yet with all of that stuff out there
i think i'd just rather look at you

although we’re in the same town still
we’re on separate planets
and every time our worlds collide
i find you on my mind

i am the resemblance of a scab
that healed your wound
you kept picking at me
because you thought i was bothersome
and a sight for sore eyes
but i just wanted to help you
to heal that wound you had
to be your natural bandaid
but one day i left
left you with a scar
for you to look at and remind yourself
who used to be there
and only wanted to help you heal
and now i'll never be seen with you again
but hey, you look good
better than i thought you would
with out me you wouldn't look so pretty
hell you'd probably still be in misery
bleeding out i fell for you
but that's all i was such a shame
only used me to heal your wound
but that scar looks nice on you too
hope you don't think about me too soon

i love doing nothing as long as its with you. i'd spend hours with you in an empty room, and never get bored. just you, me, and our own little world. your heart beats against my ear as though it was a song. your arms hug my mind and tell me its going to be alright, never having to say any words.

you are my sun when it is daytime, and my stars when it is nighttime. even when some days and nights are cloudy, i know you're still underneath it all. your arms are rays of energy that fill me with warmth and brighten my days. i look in to your eyes and everything else just seems to fade away. who knew the sky could be so pretty, although it is gray.