It was the year with double twenty
The year of uncertainty
The year of unknown
The year of mourning
Where everyone stop
Where everything was cough
Who knows, it will be like that
Who knows, it was just a start
to realize the realness
to realize the quietness
to realize the loneliness
It shows how life can turn
It shows we can be in control
despite everything
We saw the light and hope
There are beginnings
filled with love
filled with relationships


xoxo

So strangely
have you stuck to my life,
you, who have gone.

Why is everything
of my life
attached to you?

Like you are
the darkness
of my nights,

and stars,
and the moon...
they must be lightless
if I don’t
think of you.

Into the expanse of thoughts of you.
Endless moments of smiles and virtues.
Constellations inside of your eyes.
Moments of forever written in the sky.

I want to write
I want to write you a bouquet of all the words that are most beautiful
Even though they're not the ones I want to say.

I'd say you looked like the glitter of moonlight bathing a forest silver.
When you really reminded me of the glow of the reflection of a lava lamp on a storm-streaked Thursday afternoon school window
A little bit distant and a little bit normal
But still so close,
So special.

I can't tell if my face is hot, if my fingers are hot from you
Or if it's just my PC keyboard
Beginning to overheat and I'm just the same, normal me.
I can't tell if my heart is beating so so so so fast from you
Or if it's just the impending ringing of the school bell playing hopscotch or jump-rope with my adrenaline.

When will we know who we are? What will we do when we do?

Give me a name.
Give me a title that I will only hear,
when it drifts from your soft lips.

Don't call me by the simple name I have now.
A name I never wanted,
nor asked for.

I long for the name
that makes you think of sweeter things.
Like sugar.
Like the sun.

I want the name that comes to mind
when I am held in your sight,
or in the back of your thoughts.

Would it be nicer?
Would it be longer or shorter?
Would my new name be simple,
or a mouthful?

Or maybe I don't want a new name at all.
Maybe I just want you to look into my eyes,
and claim me by the name I have now.

I want you to call me by the name you love most.
I pray it's my name.