You're going to meet your first, your January.
He'll end it coldly, with no emotion.
You two had sparks. You thought everything was okay... It wasn't.
Then,you'll find February. He's similar to January, except he actually loves you. He gives you so much time. A little too much time. He starts to drown you in his words and in his thoughts. You barely get your own time. You eventually ended things with him, and found yourself march.
March wasn't anything special to you. He was just a filler. You still missed January.
Then you found April. He took you on many dates and tried to woo you. He found someone better. Like January did.. Like you were trying to do.
May. God was May attractive. He was a bitter idiot though. He was one of those people who tried to be smart but just failed. If he didn't talk you two could've lasted.
The flowers were in your hair, and June loved that about you. June wasn't an ordinary person. He loved doing wacky things to make you smile. June wasn't January. June asked you why you were still hung up on a guy who never even wanted you in the first place. June left you for a better being, but he was right.
Well, July was a ******* okay. He told you that you looked fat. A. Lot. He hit you. But that was July.
August saw July hurt you. Now August holds you and keeps you happy. He lifted his arm one night, and you flinched. August cried. August began to treat you like an unhealable wound and it wasn't working for you two.
September was passionate. He was a reader, you loved that. On your birthday, He baked you a cake and showed you what it was like not to hurt. Along the road to making you happy, September found himself in writing... He never had any time to be with you and you couldn't stand it.
Somewhere along the line, you met October. He was grand. He was always being spontaneous. Like when he surprised you and left you.
   Oh Boy, then November.. you don't know how you and him got together. You didn't want to be mean though. You tried it. He eventually made you very sick. Like, he tried to poison you with pineapples. Ahhh, Love.
Finally, you found your perfect december. He kissed those wounds that had been made & took you into his arms. you two danced to a coldplay song and that's when he asked you.. He asked you to be his as long as you could.
Most importantly.
He asked you to forget about January.
"The only way this could ever end is if you didn't forget about him."
I still think of the one love that broke me the most.
A skin of blue and black, that had been beaten and battered had finally found their 01, and only.

You never even kissed me,
But you ****** me.
****** me over.
Now I'm pregnant with the idea of a love that didn't matter and didn't exist.
Thanks for tearing my heart out and killing any ability of feeling love I had.

You taught me things I never wanted to know.
You made me so happy, yet so sad.
You filled me with sorrow and taught me there was no hope,
Then you gave me something to laugh at so I'd forget about it,
About everything.
Every word I read, every breathe I took with you, was a gift and a curse.
You've torn me down and built me back up so many times I've lost count.

Yet I still love you, Oh how I love you.
Without you I am lost,
No followers, no one to talk to when I'm lonely,
No one to cheer me up when I'm sad.
Just an empty, gaping hole inside of me where you used to be.

I hate you for it,
How dependent I am, how I can't see the good in the world,
How you make me procrastinate and how you make me lose my friends.
I hate you, because I can't function without you.

So today I'll say NO, and tomorrow I'll say YES.
But in my heart you'll always be a bittersweet thing.
So many good memories, and an equal amount of bad,
Something to love that makes me sad.
Something to hate cause I didn't want to know.
Somethings were never meant to be shown.

We wished that 2 am
could last forever.
Where we can walk
barefoot to get coffee,
and you spoke to me
in the only language
you thought I understood.

Your words spilled
out of your mouth
in the form of
poetry.
Metaphors saying
that you could be my
******.

We were lost in a different
universe where I didn't know
where I was
but I knew where your
lips were.
But then again we were also
high on acid, and
various other
illegal substances.

But the substance hidden
in your saliva got me
higher than any strain
of marijuana could.

When he tells me that
you lie about everything
and live to get ******
up, I tell him I know.
You live to **** with my
head and you whisper lies
as many times as you whisper
you want me.

He asks why I enjoy
your company.
I can't let him know
that it's because some
part of my brain
thinks that the dimension
of us happening ever again
will slip back open
and we can slide back into
each other.

You are a lie more intricate
than the northern lights.
But there are flaws and
ridges so deep
in you, I could
call you the
grand canyon.
Because you told me once
that you had lung
cancer.
I said that the
tumors had
expanded and popped.
and it explains
why they suddenly
disappeared
and a new disorder
formed
in your spine.
You blew out smoke
much longer than
you blew intoxicating
promises into my ear.
Said you had MPD
and I was the opposite
of your medicine.
Said every word you
spoke took
a pebble out of
of the hole inside you.

I told you that I lived
in fantasies in my head
and you said I dropped
an atomic bomb inside you.
That I was the bane of your
existence and when you got hung
up on what addictions do to you,
I whispered that they destroy everything.
You stopped in the street and
stared at me.

Then it was the kind
of coffee I got.
I got vanilla cupcake
and you teased me on how
I want what's normal.
How I am liquid and I
fit to whatever container
I am put in.
But baby you see, when you
asked for an explanation
you didn't want the one I had.
I went to tell you that
my mind isn't stable
and I'm never in one place,
so when I kiss you,
it's hidden in a garden
in my mind and I'm not sure
it really happened.

Yesterday you apologized.
Said I don't really love
him and you don't love your
partner.
I kissed you with my thumb
in the way,
and I swore if I could
of just moved it
the world would shift upside
down and I would
be tripping with you
at 2 am again.

When we sat on my porch,
as the sun came up,
you said you wish it could of
lasted forever.
But the thing with forever
is I can't do commitment.

Maybe it's best that 2 am
is just another dimension
where people walk around bare
foot
blowing clouds of lust
into each others mouths
poetry falling off my fingers
like a hang nail,
hurts just a bit
to get that deep in my words
that they don't even flow right.

Maybe it's best that we only
exist where we float in our
personality disorders.
We are more than one person,
souls caught in our head
fighting to take control,
seeing a weakness and lunging,
and you are my weakness.
Explains why when I'm with
you I forget that he exists,
while when I'm in my head
he is my everything.
You...
You said I've never been addicted
to you, and if I gave you the
chance my life would change.
But darling I had one
taste and I'm hooked.

From the first night that
we got so high
hair was pulled and mouths
were stuffed
I was... I was stuck.
And I have been stuck on you
ever since.
We exist in a universe
that only the dark allows.
No eyes to pry.

2 am is where
we aren't in a relationship.
2 am is where I
can kiss you
and you pull me away
saying that won't
stop your question of
why I do it?
What do I feel?

What I feel is 2 am
tugging at my knees
pulling me down,
begging it not to become 6 am.
Because I'm addicted to you.
I am addicted to the night
where the streets are empty
and we can lay on gravel
and stare at the lights.
I told you before.

Addictions destroy you.

In the highs and lows of life
In the ups and downs of life
In the yes and no's of life
When confronted with any doubts in life hesitation will not work
Clarity of thoughts will make the difference
Transperancy in pattern of work must be followed by clarity of thoughts

Be clear in your mind with regards to what you have got in your mind and all that you want from life.

When the right moment of time comes strike a deal with the inner self
Once decided, then it's time to make the next move
Always it's better to watch and wait and then decide how to move ahead.

When the desire is to do something specific, then that desire must have a strong backing.
A desire must be followed by firm willingness to pursue and achieve the desire that's in mind
When the desire becomes strong and concrete it will then be accompanied by a willingness to face odd, which will come along the way.

An odd that comes at an odd moment of time in the middle of your way needs to be solved.
So,
organize yourself, your time and space.
Find a way out,
An idea, method, technique, trick,  whatever may be the need of hour
Find a way out, which will get the odd out of your way.

Experiences from prior have always told one thing
Odds are always there for most of the time
Better deal with them, handle and tackle them
Learn from the odds that you face
In doing so the best thing that happens is you will have an experience of your own.

Even if you think it otherwise,
the other way round life had never been smooth, simple and easy
Never did it happen that after overcoming an odd everything in life became calm and quite, as if nothing happened prior.
On the contrary, after overcoming an odd the next moment of time will tell you how to move ahead in the direction of goal
Life had never been simple and easy
All that happened was it always seemed like life is simple and easy.

Always keep in mind,
always follow the same
Make a habit, register somewhere at the back of your mind
Odds do not change the rest of things in your life
It's important that you remain firm in your mind,
firm with regards to overcoming an odd and don't give up.

Never give up against any odds in your life
When you accept a defeat against overcoming an odd,
everything from the present date and time moves into the past.

Better face the odds as they come along your way
Give your best
Make every possible effort to overcome the odd
Always have something definite in your mind,
always
Both before and after facing an odd
Better to have something of own in life
Better to be what you are
Always represent yourself as what you really are in your life.

Consistency is the name of the game in which every element of your life plays an important role
Everything is of concern
Everything becomes important in life when it comes to getting consistency in life

A lot of events that happen in life can be experienced only once
They never get repeated
Never does it happen you prove your skills, capabilities, abilities and identity all the time in your life
Recognition comes over a period of time
Experience and expertise becomes a part of your life then
Experience and expertise always counts in everyone's life
They have got a place in everyone's life.

Not only when you participate in a competition, but also otherwise as and when an untoward thing happens, when something goes wrong, be honest at that time.
Honest and confident about yourself
Confident about your skills and expertise
Now when you know your own position and ranking face the facts and search for truth
Just because something went wrong it's important that truth must come out
Truth will come out only when honesty is there.

Before the outside world interferes in your way of doing things
Once and for all understand, realize and accept the fact, which clearly states, who you are based on your prior performance
No need of going into what the world says
In the world outside most of the time there is always something for sale
Time changes
Attitude differs
Trends change
Important that when all of this happens, the person inside you remains the same
Also otherwise the outside world works in a very different way
In the outside world it's all hype
The hype that's created around you
It's all fiction
The fiction that gradually becomes a part of your life
Followed by imagination, desire and dreams.

It's all about life and the world in which you live and work, not the outside world
That's the bitter truth of life
Each and everything belongs to you
You are part of it
Still you will often come across the fact that you are not part of every group
You are not like others
Others are definitely not like you
For one reason or another, many individuals hide themselves from agreeing upon the fact as to what they really are and this not only matters, but is also of concern.

It's always better to be a small part of a larger picture
Better than doing something insignificant of your own and remaining satisfied with the same
Simple things in life don't take much time
Over a period of time you learn them on your own
Later they become part of your life and your habit
It's always better not to get engaged in more than required proportions in doing simple things of life
Over a period of time you become used to it and they become a part of your life.

In the highs and lows of life
In the ups and downs of life
In the yes and no's of life
As and when you get confronted with any doubt in life
Better to wait for a moment or two and then move ahead in life.

YES I'm a romantic, what's wrong with that?
The sound of the night makes me think of his laugh.
The crickets song, in all it's glory,
cannot compare to the sound of him snoring.
Silence, I find, is often quite scary...
but i love the silence when he's with me.

YES I'm a romantic I'm quite proud to say
that he makes me happy all night and all day.
I don't have much, but I have a dream and he's in it
with him charm and his looks and rather quick wit.

YES I'm in love with him I'm quite proud to say...
we fell in love in a car, driving across the bay.

Yes

yes or no
stay or go
you can't stand on the fence
when you leave
if you leave
i'll put in my two cents
ill let you know
let you go
you'll never touch me again
you had your shot
i hope you rot
i never wanna see you again