My finger tips is as cold as the heat of hell,
Inhaling and Exhaling chemicals that is running through my veins into my brain, i call it anchor, heavy as it is.
a secret i share… "i write when i'm choking.." Shhh.. , the word of silence and a verb of order to keep the darkest secrets.
     **welcome to wonderland.

I fell through blackness
and entered infinite silence.
How long has it been?
One.. two... three minutes maybe?
An hour or two?
Five years? Maybe ten?
Either way, I made it
to wonderland once again.
What happened to everyone?
The tea is cold, and there's a note on the table.
No.
No!
This isn't right!
"The caterpillar died from an overdose.
The rabbit by stress.
And the madness has seemed to have gotten to
the Mad Hatter at last."
My heart drops as tears blur my vision.
There's one more line left:
"You're next."
Signed Death.
And as I looked into nothingness,
a voice whispers:
"And my dear, you are not Alice.
And this is not Wonderland."

I write about my pain and my sorrow,
and I try not to think,
about any bliss or happiness I may feel inside.

I fill myself with hate and despair,
I dwell upon the dark,
and not let any light shine in.

I do not let myself know love nor hope,
for I cannot let myself feel,
in this backwards, mirror world.

I fell down the rabbit hole of my favorite book