Today you spoke first
Grimacing as you do
Knowing, nobody means anything to you
even me because how could I


-em vidar

To love is to know,
And to know is to love ,
A bond sacred by intimacy,
Not birthed by erratic physicality.
No touch, no kiss, no hand I could hold,
Could warm the emptiness of my heart, so cold.
Two hearts torn
a broken hello from opposite sides of the world,
Our love simply lost, not permanently lorn.
Not by your kiss, not by your hold,
Will new love emerge from the fettered old.
I miss the warmth of your words
Their tantalizing embrace
Bonding immeasurable next to mere attraction of face.

Moonlake’s ripples glitter,
Desires sown by full moon;
Wistful night ahead!

Why did I get to know about the myriad faces of the game before I even got in the field?  Players have told me a lot about the game called love .  I never asked them.  Some simply did while some needed to talk out to move on.  I just happened to be the person they could trust with their darkest secrets.  With the tales, my dream of an almost utopian world has receded into the past.  Sometimes I just have a minuscule wish to be able to dream of paradise like everyone else.

like a flower in a high place,
i cannot help but gaze upon
the beauty prospering adverse
to callous wind and granite stone;

one day i will watch you fall grace-
fully, petals aflutter, and mourn
the absence your passing creates:
a world less beautiful and rare.

there is a part of me that
chases, clamors for, craves your touch
(soft, steady, gentle or far too much)
a stubborn/reckless fraction
of an imperfect whole;
yearning to cage the still uncaged,
to catch myself a lost angel.

but your heart is too fragile,
too precious and too complicated
(untarnished and unremonstrated)
and my grasping fingers, they
would leave smudges and stains
handprints upon a handkerchief
****** white in this world of ink.

you are not a blank canvas
that tempts one into leaving a mark
(writing my name, my love on your skin);
you are a finalised masterpiece,
every line perfection,
and to change, covet or chain you
would be the highest blasphemy.