the most dangerous person I know was a beautiful girl,
with a singing voice like white chalk:
when you came into contact with that voice, even momentarily
you found your fingertips lightly dusted
and the taste of chalk in your lungs
She settled on you.

This girl left pieces of herself everywhere--
anchors.
to things she knew should be
important to her, but instead she couldn't find the commitment
enough to make them important.

she could only find
fragments of a conversation
about anything
that affirmed her
self-importance
or made her feel
important.
even if only for a second.

she disregarded the pain that lumbered just beneath those
glimmering retinas,
only to step closer and see the light
was just a reflection of whatever stood before her.

so she anchored herself to humans.
she chose to connect with people
based on the "mutual" stars in
their eyes.
and how they felt important.
she anchored herself to
the expectations held aloof in
the eyes of her unattached lover.
Eyes that swam with the imaginary meetings and hopefulness
to obtain girls not her.

and so she swam.

at first, she treaded water like it the thing to do in the eyes of your
"lover"
then, the ropes she tied to herself
to make anchors began to drag her down.

the people she anchored herself to reached out as far as the cold depths would allow
but she refused to tread the last few feet and take hold
of a shoreline filled with
finite praise for not drowning herself.

The most dangerous girl I knew
made drowning the important thing.
and now she waits, sunken and waterlogged
with the weight of eyes that are not hers.

The eyes of her lover, who sparkle artificially
as the light is just a reflection of whatever stands in front of him.

She’s a *****
They say
As she lies on her back
They hear the moans and whispers
But they can’t see
Her vacant eyes
Or her clenched teeth
They can’t see that she was trained
Trained to please
A piece of her soul is taken
Each man takes a piece
But they can’t see the broken human
Beneath
They don’t understand “no”
She was taught to be this way
Taught to suffer silently
She’s a harlot
They say
She gives them what they want
Little do they know
Inside she is screaming
Increasingly repulsed
by their touch
but her body is not her own
So she lies in her coffin
It’s easier to rot away
He rolls off of her corpse
Panting
She’s a ****
He’ll say
It was so easy
She’s a *****
But she’s the one who pays

Do you wanna make love?
Do you wanna make me?
Or do you wanna make both?
Do you want to love me emotionally?
Do you want to sing happy songs to my dark parts?
Do you want to kiss me long and lazy?
Do you want to take my burdens with every blanket you wrap me up in?
Do you want to play with me in front of the open window because we're shameless?
Do you want to tell me stories to soothe my soul?
Do you want to **** me while the rain comes down all around us?
Tell me, do you?

Hey,
I'm ****!
What?
Oh sorry,
Let me explain.
I ****** my life,
So much.

Yes, I'm a ****,
I don't like to keep track,
Of the people I've ******
Woah Woah Woah,
Not like that,
I've just,
Messed some people up,
A lot.

Don't ask me why,
Maybe I was bored,
Or maybe I'm just an 'I love you'
*****.
What?
Is this getting confusing?
Cuz its not always me,
Who does the abusing,
I'll tell you I can count the people I've dated on my toes,
However most of them were hoes,
But its not the ones I've been with,
Its the ones I know I never will be.
So when you already emotionally distanced yourself from me...

Of course we made out on the floor!

Relationships are messy.
Especially,
If you don't have one.

Some days it's seems better my car will keep beeping
Begging to get my key out but I'm wishing I wasn't leaving over-
Scheduled, problems dissolve within the working world
Convinced me to wear a monkey suit, the same teenager who would've
Had their stomach curl at the thought of polished non-slips
Wearing auramatics kissing *** for liquor profits
Talk for tips not walking **** cause I ain't the phyrst just in
Training for the perks of a two job income cause my
Stomach hurts what's worse are expectations from the suburban
Have your family wary and hope they're never learning 'bout the
Last place on earth they'd look to let their dog ****
But **** that sorry for your loss ****
There's no place I'd rather be says my lack of a degree and the
GPA to boot of someone going through a disease
Sickness of their mirrors and symptoms to persevere even
When my tummy's wroght dry form the falling of every failure it's been
Setting for so long my mind is rotting just from hearing
The record breaks in my thoughts I'm beat, 'scuse my behaviour
My mission's not to trouble you, no I am the saviour
Deaf to all my problems cause you probably can't solve em
I wrote that pompous poem do my best not sodomise
My truths speaking out of the 12th grade nothing
No this ain't the walk you weren't lying they were bluffing
Bluff to help you see that the world isn't so rough
Get you through accept abuse as if it wasn't enough
So you don't die as a parents' disappointment
And largest regret in their breath but my thoughts are just disjointed
Don't take what I say seriously anymore
It's not like I do I'm my environment's *****

It's not an issue of ordinary old head-bashed-off-the-dash hookery.
It's something more.
Not like the something before.
It can be answered lysergically,
I swear it,
I've seen it and I've been one with two and every other number so I swear I must've been it.

It was so cold, the learning.
Colder than the yearning.
Knowing nothing's what it seems yet it is everything at once.


And I cannot be contradicted because my evidence is infinite.
If you'd just take the time to sit and spit silence for a split second, you'd know.
Part of listening is thinking of a response.

And you might not stand on corners like the forlorn father mourners but you too are just a ***** for lonely men.