Samantha Feb 19
Every night you lay down beside me,
I tuck you in, cover you up.
Do you need anything?
How about some water, are you thirsty?
Some nights you let me drift off peacefully,
You rub my back, play with my hair.
Some nights you keep me up,
Whispering secrets to me as the hours go by.
I tell you my hopes and dreams.
They always make you giggle.
I tell you about a new boy,
You tell me I'll never be good enough
for a good man.
You tell me that if I keep dating guys that hurt me,
I can't hurt them.
I tell you I want to help people,
You ask what I ever did for you.
I ask you to leave,
Please go to the closet where
everyone else's skeletons live.
But you take my hand and pull
me back into bed with you.
The worst of lovers.
You wrap your arms around me,
Tell me it'll be okay,
Tell me you'll always be there,
You'll never leave me,
I'll never have to be alone.
I give in to you, I succumb,
I know no other way.
And then,
Just so I don't forget who I am,
You look me dead in my eyes
As you pop another one,
You're my favorite destruction you tell me,
And I cry myself to sleep.
Samantha Feb 6
The idea that something good was only one magic step away.
The idea that some things never change, and the hope that some do.
The idea that love is hard, but holy shit, the reward.
The idea that someone's skin can be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, and to touch it is the idea of human comfort.
Here's to feelings that we thought were lost, only to be found, and lost again.
Here's to the child-like wonder that come from discovering love for the first time in a long time.
Here's to the idea of believing in the blonde boy more than I've ever believed in anything.
Here's to the idea that it doesn't matter how you get to Sunday, as long as you get there.
The idea that the only thing the soul needs at the end of every day is just to laugh.
The idea that people can sweep you away, just like a hurricane, the prettiest natural disaster ever seen.
Here's to all the secret stolen moments that didn't belong to us in the first place, but we're made ours.
Here's to all the nights where the only thing that mattered is the emotion that overwhelmed us.
Here's to late night car rides filled with music that was everything to us.
Here's to the morning where we weren't fully awake yet, but still found each other's company.
Here's to the idea that love would outlive us all.
Here's to all the moments where anger should've been squashed and hearts should've healed.
Here's to all the harsh words that were never meant.
Here's to waking up and finding a way to fall in love all over again, everyday.
2017 was filled with the regret that kindness and understanding did not prevail over everything.
But how can you really regret a year filled with the idea of love in the air and feet dirty with adventure.

And for 2018, the idea that love comes, and is not required to stay. But we are made of pure Earth with hearts that come from the cosmos, and there are things inside of us that will always outlast time.
The idea of giving your heart, completely recklessly, with no abandon, even if it's only just once. The notion that someone will come and when they do, they can have everything and you will hold nothing back.
Samantha Jan 12
Everyday I watch,
my eyes filled with silent horror.
I watch myself become
smaller and smaller.
All by your hands.
I beg,
to be heard, to be understood.
To be treated kindly.
I beg,
for you to see the hurt,
the destruction written all over my face.
I beg for you to love me,
to keep me safe, to protect me.
And everyday,
things don't change.
And I beg for help from my new position,
closer to the edge.
Samantha Jan 12
Come here,
let our eyes meet.
Come here,
watch me drink you in.
Come here,
let me feel your face.
Come here,
watch me grab your hair.
Come here,
let your lips and my lips
become good friends.
Come here,
watch my mouth kiss the tattoos
that decorate your body.
Come here,
let me show you where your
fingers fit.
Come here,
watch the affect you have on me.
Come here,
let me position my body
underneath yours.
Come here,
watch you enter me.
Samantha Jan 12
There you are,
Standing before me,
Glowing in the moonlight.
You take my hands,
Stained with the smell of weed and peanut butter.
Lift them to your face,
You kiss them.
I shiver.
You kiss me.
I melt.
Your hands reach around me.
Tender and soft and longing.
These hands,
Will not be forgotten.
Samantha Jan 12
You call, I answer.
I know what you want.
You come and we sneak upstairs.
Children seeking shelter in the night.
You kiss me.
And I smell it on your breath.
You hands find their way
Underneath my clothes.
And I sense it in your clumsiness.
We undress and you stumble.
You find me through your drug induced haze.
We lay together and you don't say much.
Sleep finds you.
And I find myself,
Crying on your shoulder.
Wondering why we have such different
ideas on what it means to feel alive.
Samantha Jan 12
Pull your skirt down,
Pull your shirt up.
Don't ask for it.
Keep your mouth shut,
Not too many opinions.
Don't ask for it.
Cut your music down,
Play something softer.
Don't ask for it.
Don't wear red lipstick,
How about pink instead?
Don't ask for it.
You can't say that,
Those aren't appropriate words for women.
Don't ask for it.
Have more self-respect,
You can't post that.
Don't ask for it.
You can't smoke that,
Put that bottle down.
Don't ask for it.
You can't be friends with her,
They call her a slut.
Don't ask for it.
Don't sleep with that guy.
Don't be seen with this one.
Don't ask for it.
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