I like how you think you're all that,
Hah although your chest is really flat
Forgive me I'm rude you say?
Sorry *** things don't always go your way

I like how you think your all that
But really you're a little brat
You're a class A attention *****
All you want is more more more

I like how you think you're all that
Honey take off your hard hat                        
You can call me a "A body shamer"
If I were to date you I'd need a disclaimer

I like how you think you're all that
Your *** really isn't that fat
You fake cry to get attention
But really it's just gives the whole room tension

You seriously think you're all that
My job is done you sentimental rat
I should not waste any more of my time
I wasted enough trying to make this poem rhyme

you call me *****
label me with broad brushstrokes
to paint onto the tableau of
my life a permanent stain where
you think i don't already see one.

the joke's on you.

trying to sully an already *****
contaminated crime scene
you won't wipe away fingerprints
seared into my skin
by those who also
saw me as that *****
were you disappointed when you saw
i already had ruby red marks
of hands wrapped around my neck?
because your flying shrapnel
accusations make me wonder
if you wish you had
gotten there first.

*****.

though the declaration stings
it certainly doesn't take me
by surprise when i
see that word stamped across my
forehead any time i look in the mirror
the syllable lives between my legs
and bleeds my secret shame
but i can't let you see me cry
i can't let you know it hurts
i can't let on that i would do
anything to purge this stain.

how could you understand
that i see my reflection in
***** in the toilet so i
shove my fingers farther down
my throat to recreate
that feeling of drowning
the gags that created me.

*****.

i want to blame that
violation
or even my erratic neurotransmitters
for morphing that flaxen-haired
nice girl
into the gnarled old
shame-riddled creature who sits
silently before you
being named *****.

but it was no one else who
led myself to this place
who traversed dimly-lit rooms
of iniquity
and was reborn as this contemptible creature
i take up my cross
my new mantle
my ******* scarlet letter.

you make me want
to run through the streets screaming
to stand on a street corner
preaching the gospel
of my culpability
have you heard the news
of our ****** executioner
the *****
the label feels even more
familiar than my own name.

i don't deserve a name.

take my clothing and dress me
in rags
strip me of my name and address me
only as *****
my life will now be only
passive acceptance and
those hands will explore my hidden places
though they are as unknown
as Disneyland on a gilded
summer day
but you can watch my searing shame
in the invisible white hot tears
only i know.

don't touch the *****
or you might fall victim to
my contagious disease
of optics and opinion
myself the lowest caste of society
relegated to empty halls
and abandoned structures
where i am abandoned as well.

you seem surprised that
the *****
would be fiercely independent
would be accustomed to
being alone
but who stays with a *****?
who takes her home to
meet the family
my independence was merely
an adaptation
Darwinian evolution ensuring
i would survive
to suffer another day
another trial
another sentence.

i understand now why
criminals are handed
multiple life sentences
because i'm punished daily
deservedly so
i would **** myself and if
i came back i would
cry out for more
more pain
more lashes
lay me bare and cut the skin from
my bones and call me *****
never stop
never let me forget
what is burned into the back of
my eyelids
a memory connected to
that word
my name.

i was given that name
by violating vandals
who spray painted my guilt
all over myself
and i can't escape that night
whenever i close my eyes and
pray i won't wake up
or pray i'll wake up in some other body
uncontaminated
a form that was never touched
virginal purity i wish i could
somehow repackage and
re-insert into my ****
to purify the orifice of all
those who branded me
*****
the mantle i took on myself
and made manifest.

She sat there crying
Helplessly
Thinking of all the men
She’d watched leave
Each one left feeling pleased
For every night
She got to her knees

Why does she do this?
Does no one care?
With her bloodshot eyes
And tangled hair
She trudges home
Wishing someone was there
Alone each night
It wasn’t fair

She woke one night
Reduced to tears
Tired of being used
For so many years
She couldn’t
Face all her peers
With all the mockery
And their jeers

So, facing solitude
Once again
The girl gets up
and grabs a pen
And writes a note
To all the men
She closes her eyes
And then….

Greed the **** of Lust stands before her with an outstretched hand and ask

"Where is my currency?"

Lust reached into her pocket and gave Greed the gold bills.

"Greed you act like you don't trust me" said Lust.

"Lust you are my wife and the ***** who I ****.  We are a couple that were wedded in darkness.  Trust you?  I do but not a hundred percent.  I'm all about wealth and power and you're attracted to wealth and power.  You're going to be taking a shower in wealth and power" said Greed.

"I'm going to see to it that you keep your word Greed.  We may have been wedded in darkness but we are still husband and wife.  You're great with currency and I see your willingness to obtain your goals.  You promised to put power in my hands and lay riches at my feet.  Remember that" said Lust.

Written by Keith Edward Baucum

Why did you do it?
How do you feel?
Okay, but is it the daddy issues?
Regret isn't always instant, ya know?
Eventually, i will explode.
so i'm not what, sorry who, you wanted. maybe even needed. what is the difference. turn me over and get your kicks, did you think it was your eyes i wanted to see when i opened my own? you are nobody. not to me anyways. i wish you had blinded me: maybe i would have felt more. more than the voices. felt the music over your moans - that by the way sounded like you wanted me. felt what it was to be whole, full, content. everyday something feels like it does not belong in me and you were no exception. when you breathed into my neck it was no cold biting breeze but the memory of moments before my dog threw up in my lap - at least he looked apologetic. but i let you take it and now it's yours and that is fine by me but you have this problem where you don't know when to close your mouth and maybe if you had ever put it to use i could forgive you. insult me. please. you don't know how good it feels to have my worthlessness validated by a stranger. someone who doesn't understand my jokes and my biting comments: alienates my tongue and forces it back into hiding. the moment i felt a crack following the path your fingers had once whispered into my skin: i felt home. back to base one. back to being an infant learning how to operate these strange extensions of my body - which brought me back to you, who taught you to use those fingers? i wonder if you can hold a fork, is it crooked? the moment you couldn't peel a tangerine i should have known better. speaking of, i know i do. and i want to say it wasn't what you did or didn't do but there was a lot you skipped over. i can see you're impatient, impolite, even impotent on occasion and i have to ask: how do you support yourself on such shaky arms? i truly didn't think you'd make it through the whole, what was it, 15 (?) minutes. and what did you want? a prize? a pat on the back? for ******* and spewing your loneliness into me? lips too big, neck too long, decision making skills nonexistent, looked like your last girlfriend - did I miss anything else that was wrong? did my catholicism make it better? did that help you mount the white steed, you were no prince charming and the dragon was better company. did it hurt me, to be rejected that is, only about as much ***** as it took to laugh about it. does it haunt me? like every mistake i have ever made: but it's no big deal, you're bottom of the pile. that should please you, you couldn't hold yourself on top anyways.

She will never understand
Fundamentalist Christianity’s demand
To maintain a perfect flower
Solely for a husband to devour

Robbed of her innocence
She begs in the form of repentance
For acceptance and forgiveness
The entire congregation a witness

To victim shame is to victim blame
Even innocent children aren’t immune
Ten past noon on a sunny day in June
A girl’s ***** was breached
A sin in the eyes of the lord, the goodly preacher preached

An unmarried non-****** is a ***** and nothing more
A defiled child, her name reviled

She is blamed, she is shamed
By her own flesh and blood
Silenced was the little lamb
To hell she will be ******

Keep up the facade
Just smile and nod
Pretend to love the church
Cross necklace, bible, and long skirt
C’mon show your love! Buy that Jesus merch!

Wanting to shed her skin
A prison she’s trapped in
The most perfect of little girls
Except she lost her white pearls

A bitter pill to swallow
The Lord Jesus she must follow
Knowing her body’s imperfect
Understanding she’ll never be worth it

So with the congregation’s nod, the goodly preacher preached:
"For in the eyes of God,
A ***** which is breached
On a girl without a ring
Is worth nothing but a fling"

i wonder how you do it
how the words can slip so easily from your chapped lips
how your mouth wraps around the vowels and the consonants so snuggly
as if your mouth was made for that purpose and that purpose only

****. *****.

i wonder how you can say  these words
without the slightest hint of remorse
no guilt in your tone
no regret in your voice
void of all emotion except scorn
hatred

do these words **** ***** ***** harlot scarlet woman roll off your tongue
as easily as your glory bes your hail marys your our fathers

does your hatred come as easy as saying your amens?

Misconstrued are my Mental health needs
Not Intensionally Mean
Nor even Malicious deeds.

Never really put together and left unscrewed;
With broken seems and bubbly brew

I can't help but to be unsteady.
Must I always stay guarded, prepared and ready?
It's like a battle with man after man...
Enemies I'm beheading.

Sounds of piercing pain, ****!
Their flesh shreds threw sharpened fans.
As I walk away unapologetically,
I find pity for ones that ran.
A heartless beauty, naturally!
Her only motto is 'You Can!'

I was living the only way I knew how.
Reliving my past; only heartaches allowed.
That was until last October, I met my match...
I finally fell victim for getting attached!

...Her war is finally over!
He conquered her within the abyss
Blood drunk to gratefully sober.
Now nobody has seen him ever since.

Last night
I tried to forget about my uptight blight.
My friends are timeless
We drive around in Porches
Drink champaign for days
Swim in caves
and talk of old sexcapads
2 cups of *****--wanna stay the night?
Don't think about the over site.
Early morning
I took off my clothes
He is the neighborhood *****.