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H Phone Mar 2018
Rationality over heart
My brain is always on guard
Big Brother is real
And he controls how I feel
A platoon on patrol
One parole
Control my soul
Fill a hole
...
How did that hole even get there?

Any runaway feeling is immediately detained
Used to entertain
An audience
What audience?
It’s just me
As I’m forced to see
How my sadness is instructed to do a dance
Like a circus animal
My anger gets beaten with a baton
No one bats an eye
There is no one
It’s almost comical
I’m the one hosting this show, aren’t I!?
Did I forget to send the invites?
Why else go through the motions of setting this up?

Sometimes, I feel like happiness is the only one I can trust
Just...
Every once in a while I look over my shoulder
Force of habit
And it’s like nervousness overtakes it
“Don’t worry about me,
Just, uhm, get excited!
About this new game
Or the name
Of the new person you just met!”
Encouraged, I jump in, face first
Getting ahead
Of myself
Only to be stopped dead
In my tred
Wavering
Who am I faking this for?
Do I want to be seen as random or positive or…
A special snowflake perhaps
Why am I obsessed with the concept of faking a smile?
I’ll just take a walk for a while…

Sometimes I wonder how that looks
A hooded figure through the woods
Head cast to the ground
Accompanied by the sound
Of a deep sigh
Bouncing of against the night-
ly sky
And another one
And another one
Do I look edgy yet?
I bet
People are wondering “what’s up with that kid?”
Just the way I like it

And then, in the most meta of ways
I become aware of this play
This ploy
A decoy
For my lack of personality?
Just who exactly is to blame?

He sits atop a throne
All alone
Keeping everything in suspension
And he commands just one thing:
“Attention!”
The title only makes sense when you read the last word of the poem...
joel jokonia Mar 2018
He fingerprints my melanin skin
I bleed lust, i trust
Alien tongue playing a seductive touch on my **** lips,
Dropping my guard, gulping every ******..
Hard pacing in and out of me, i let him an inch closer to my heart,
As i pick a scent of city life on his chest,
His skin so smooth it mends my dents and cracks, my perfect match,
My soul dances in the light with the freedom of a mad man,
Dead brain this sweet pain, whispers pleasure......
I chose him and left all behind
The lights of the city held a pride
Which i would bask in beside him

See..... I lost me
Imbeko packed and left me lonely,
Getting high in dark spaces of the street lights,
Yelling die, this was not living was just trying to survive
Gutter life, suffer i, had to sell my body away,
Stained my soul, my conscience couldn't stay,
Mr urban see had hit the cherry got his share of merry and walked away,
Finally unmasking the veil of deceit, i saw the true colours,
But i couldnt go back to ravaged community of round mud houses,
Pride was the bouncer that kept me inside,
Had to die here and i did

But no i am not that young woman
Didn't let go of this culture
Content with these village ethics, nature's majestics,
Completely free from these misguided pledges
I would rather fetch water on earth's edges,
Why try mold into world classes, african being is rare,
And i am that her, who brushes my black hair with pride,
You.. yes you, your african hair is nice,
I rap myself in colours of native love,
Catching the cries of early *****,
Not waking up with a bunch of different strangers in my bed,
You might think i am misguided, i am not driven by philosophers of english communities
In which the music is within us.... In the untamed soils of mother africa

So i keep his fingerprints away from my beautiful skin
Cause i never wanna be where she has been
Telling a story of a girl who forsees the dangers of city life
C Jan 2018
What am I supposed to do when the person who gave me my own life back, is the one ******* it away.
I know I'm a piece of sh**, and that's okay.
But if you love me so much then why do you pull me down to get yourself higher, when you could use that strength to lift yourself up.
You got too close and that scared you so you gave up.
So you told yourself that I was a *****, but you're the one selling yourself to the entire world.
You're a god, nothing more.
And I'm just a ***** that will always love you.
Why did you save me
mjad Jan 2018
I'd rather stay in
than pass out drunk with a guy you refer to as "him"
because you were too tipsy to ask his name,
and now are sleeping in his puke with a migraine.
your call was to
an deaf
your
un
sober
thoughts
have drown
your liquored
tip
lead
me here
through
your hollows
nighttime that swallows
your minds flesh
take off
your
****** forehead
my last love
sessions
over
?






...
..
.
Karisa Brown Jan 2018
Where do
Tar pits end?
At the room
On the left?
****** and monsters
Are all that's left
A sign tales vacancy
That's all that's
Left of me
Until tomorrow repeats
boringwonderland Dec 2017
you told me you changed
i believed you
why am i laying on the bathroom floor
covered in blood
was i too much of a bore
i can’t stop screaming
what is the meaning
of my life
silly me i thought i could be your wife
i let you rip the heart right out of my chest
take the rest
i don’t want to be a person anymore
i hate myself to the core
i shattered the mirror
you’r not near
you didn’t realize that i’m fragile
i want to ****
all the voices inside me
telling me i’d be better off dead
all i’m seeing is dark red
all over the bathroom floor
this won’t be much of a bore
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