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I thought you wanted only me
at least that's what you said
That's what i felt
in the way you held my hand
in the feel of your calloused finger
gentle on the back of my hand
I felt it
the sparks
the butterflies
the rockets
all of it
the dark abyss enlightened by the touch of your palm
the grasp of your fingers linked with mine
I didn't expect to fall for you
I didn't expect to want you as much as i do
But you wanted me
I felt it in the press of your lips
Your soft lips tender against mine
How we closed our eyes
through our self in a cycle of torment
that I was so willing to risk
I thought you only wanted me
but you did't
my lips were too rough
my hands were too cold
my eyes too dark
I thought you wanted me
when we would talk in the midst of the night
and smile with our hearts on our sleeves
I thought you wanted me
but I was to messed up
I thought to much
and I talked to little
I laughed to loud
and I was to needy
I'm sorry
god I'm sorry
because I wasn't what you were looking for
even though I tried so hard just to be that
I am sorry
for not trusting you
I'm sorry for wanting you
in a way you probably never wanted me
I'm sorry for being Alexis
with the cold hands and the brittle heart
I'm sorry for thinking
that i was the only one you would want
I am sorry
Tbh  this is why i dont do relationships
Jack R Fehlmann Feb 2016
Awoke today,
    a stranger's face
Staring back
    in a familiar way...
Mirror Glass,
   Smiling,..
Should I smile back?...
   Or shoo away all new,
again today,
   all I long to be?

Familiar lines traced
   lead with glimpses back
Reminding the child I used to be...

Upon light so intense
   time's winning hand
casts me back,
   Out played I fold
No fire and no flame
   Just an ember left...

A Long forgotten man
   Awoke today,
a strangers face
   who i want to be.
He looked at him,
   I looked at me
And He asked questions:
  
   Do I ever decide?
Did You like my chances?
   if ever there could be,

Him?..
  
    He?..

           Me?
Another one that  I've come across in my old laptop that I do not remember having written
flowerheart Feb 2016
I am who I am,
                  I am!

                 ...am I?
        ...Who am I?
Kelly Hogan Jan 2016
I am,
Not who I once was
Or who I thought I was.

So...
Who am I?
More high nonsense...
ShuckFacedGirl Jan 2016
Who knew
Someone
I didn't know
Would say
Hello?

Who knew
That night
We'd see
Ourselves
In each other?

Who knew
We'd share
So many things
And never met
Before?

Who knew
Every day
He'd ask me
"Do we
Still match?"

Who knew
The answer
Was always yes?

Who knew
Less than
A week
Would pass
Before he
Kissed
Me?

Who knew
When he
Kissed
Me
It would
Bring back
Memories?

Who knew
We'd kiss
Again
And
Again?

Who knew
We'd fall
In love?

Who knew
It was
New Years
And I
Was only
Thinking
Of him?

Who knew
One month
After Hello
Would be
Goodbye?

Who knew
The
Difference
Between
"Goodnight"
And
"Goodnight,
Love"
Was enough
To make me cry?

Who knew
I could
Feel him
Even if
I never
Saw him
But now
All I feel
Is his
Absence?

Who knew
I'd  fall
To pieces
But
Pick them
Up?

Who knew
I'd just
Drop them
All over
Again?

Who knew
He wouldn't
Or pretend
He doesn't
Care?

Who knew?
Not me.
Tabitha Jan 2016
All the sleepless nights,
All the time wasted,
All the that I thought I needed,
To makeout or kiss,
This is what you wanted,
Partying,
going wild,
But life for you was always better 'mild',
Calm,
Collected,
Introspective thoughts and emotions,
What happens when you've lost it all?
Hope and faith,
Eyes fill with tears cause in the end,
Between the parties and the laughs,
All that was lost,
All that was missing,
All that you ever wanted,
All that I needed was
To figure out who I am.
My identity.
Struggle to find yourself, and identity at parties, while still maintaining values.
Nameless Jan 2016
I talk to myself,
my father isn't fond of it.

Will I really end up alone...
like he tells me, when I talk to myself.

... I answer no

But, when no one is around...
does it matter who I talk to?

Because...

I'd rather talk aloud, to myself, so I know...
That my thoughts are my own.
Short thing I came up with...
Tailor Hunter Jan 2016
The world asks us, who are you
At one point I would have answered
But I have seen the world around us
And seen that others don't care.

My classmate comprise of many lies
Grown slowly into true and fact
Just ask around, I request you
Our questioning world, to take your line back!

A world of queer and question galore
One that a refused to accept before
I am an anomaly of color and ethnicity
The answer of who I am buried in years yet be.

Life isn't meant to be the same for you and me
Because we must be held to our own destiny
We are different in what we truly do
So the true question is, what do you see to be true?
Ekstyn Jan 2016
Who are you?
Who are you behind those smiles
you wear every day?
Behind those words you rarely meant?
Behind the face everyone knows?
Who is that person you see
in the mirror
whenever you wake up in the morning,
raw and vulnerable...?
That person who cries silent tears, do
you perhaps know him?
Who are you behind the
name you did not choose?

When you are stripped bare
of everything you put up
to be someone you thought
you can be...
Would you still recognize
your own person?

Who are you?
AFR Dec 2015
I can't remember the last time I chose who I was
I am always the girl everyone says I am
They called me sweet so I turned my hair to cotton candy
They told me I was innocent so I hid my body
They said I was understanding so I threw my thoughts in the trash
They whispered I was empathetic so I sent my feelings away
They called me cheery so I pinned the tips of my lips to my ears
They told me I was friendly so I decided to pretend I wasn't scared to say hi
They said I was fair so I made myself blind
They whispered I had changed so I felt myself crumble
They yelled at me what to be and when I wasn't perfect they started over
They ate my cotton candy
They ripped my clothes away
They dug my thoughts out of the trash
They called my feelings and brought them back
They tore my lips from my ears
They scared me into not wanting to say hi anymore
They gave me glasses
They stopped 'fixing' me
Now that they've stopped I don't know who I am
Am I still sweet, innocent, understanding, empathetic, cheery, friendly, and fair?
I don't know who I am now that they've stopped telling me
Maybe I'm nothing
Maybe I'm everything
I don't know what or who I am now
I need someone to tell me
I miss who I was pre-them
I miss who I was post-them
I don't know who I am
Who I'm supposed to be
or
My identity
I don't know what to do
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