Crystal tears,
Make up a diamond sea,
Where on the golden shores,
Glass roses grow.

But I picked the green weeds instead.

“Come on”
    “Shut up”
         “Behave”
   when one day I burst into flame
     when every notebook I held burned up
           when dusty soot from attempts at art
                                                        just flew away
blinded by the pain
       it’s difficult to see
when every bed is flammable
                       it’s difficult to sleep
       enough sleep deprivation would
                                     drive anyone insane
“Don’t play the victim”
              “Don’t ask for pity”
      “Stop your constant complaints”
                      “Don’t give the fire
                                     power of mind
                                         allow it to grow
                                            into its own entity”
alive but aflame
   hiding with all my might
            they kept asking more
                                  “Be normal”
                                            "Helpful"
   ­                         “Smile for ***** sake ”
               while every glimpse of real
                          gave them a fright
when I in desperation sought
                        for water
                  at any cost
   just make the pain stop
                  while their words
                          created drought
in my life
  of burning flesh
      I kept trying to forget
                                start fresh
                got so good at pretending
                             invisible flames
            my life slowly ending
                 just not aloud
    my silence during emergency
             made them proud
when there was barely any left
  turned to dusty soot myself
     turned mute
        I dropped to my knees
                        I begged
they didn’t waste any time
         before saying
                                  “You have to understand,
                    everyone gets a little hot sometimes”

of the molecules of the water they will
swim in, that flow by my citybounded
abode in a tidal estuary
heading fir dispersal and aspersions
into the Great Atlantic Ocean
which I will visit
come the spring,
and are etched yet then
within the relentless
waves of the those very same atoms, upchurning and upspitting
white foam which will
very lively likely contain
new poems, perhaps,
perhaps even,
those writ by fish
in their dreams,
for who actually knows
the original origins
of the dreams
we drink daily,
not I,
who finds them
when the wet smoke of
fog of evaporated
water
kisses my lips!

P. S. perhaps I have written poems
authored by the very same fish
you held in your grasp once upon
a time in a photo)

I enter the bathtub filled with warm water
To wash away the stress and trauma.
The liquid which used to bring me so much comfort
And so much fear.

The water i used to warm my hands with,
The water i used to make food i hoped no one knew about,
The water i gave my dying dog,
The water that kept me alive.

And i sit there, thinking about it.
About everything that can happen
In the span of 4 years.
Earth is a strange place indeed,
As it is filled with water.

I know the power of the rising tide
For beneath my feet rests the shifting sands of time
Always ebbing and flowing the water dost erode
Each wave tugging and pulling
The tiny grains betwixt my toes

As the surf rises my foundations wither
Casting evil eye to swollen sea my thoughts swell bitter
When my balance is interrupted by systematic crashes
Gradually displacing and replacing
My position along its axis

Until finally I am interred within that salty tomb
Buried under heavy weight of time ne’er to be exhumed
Less the tide decide to recede and expose
The monument to a man
Who had once claimed to know

silicone valleys
sapphire nights
golden years
iron bites
stone erodes
lost in streams
but water flows
like hopes and dreams

Words threaten to overflow
The self constructed ****
That I erected in my mind
Piece by piece, brick by brick
Her eyes awash with acidity
Dissolve the bonds Restricting my tongue
Her silence an oppressive heat
My words evaporated on contact
Like the cruel mistress of the seasons
She takes everything and leaves nothing

when she loves,
she spills over.
she makes a mess,
a mud puddle.
so, lover, be creative
to stay afloat.
if you must bring
a boat and a paddle because
the way she loves drowns—
heart always full, lungs out of breath.
your ribs expand
to take in some air.
your sigh, despair
of loving instead.
maybe like her old flames, soon, you too
would wish
her love burns less.
but, she is meant to engulf all,
like the waves that hit the shore
with unrelenting energy.
she is meant
to be consumed
by the whole of your body.
no, she cannot water down her love
for you, for anybody.
and so, lover,
just hold her steady.
any less is unworthy.

Run river, run wide,
Don't let them **** you, be free,
Run river, run long.