it was 3 a.m. and i'm gazing into the open sky
into the darkness that lies ahead.

it was black , obviously (or was it grey?)
it was black but it wasn't evil or anywhere near it.

i was happy
because it was only me and the open sky
the fresh night air
and the stars, never to forget the lovely moon.

the scene changed

i was drowning in the open sea
nobody knew i was out here
i took this risk alone
and i know i might die of hypothermia here.

it was 3 a.m. and there's this
roller-coaster of emotions i felt
this vigorous scenes changing
and constantly fading.

9.00 a.m.
it took me 6 hours later
to realize that the stars i was staring at
actually they were your eyes.

and the ocean i'm drowning in
was your cold, stiff embrace.

there is something invisible
that lives inside us both.


-Watercolour

Wonder is knowing that your questions will never be asked,
and that the thoughts that make you shiver are just your biggest dreams,

Plans are what we bring to our hearts when we are deceived,
By the maps laid out by our own two feet,

Hope is when the sand sinks into the sea, letting you walk free.
Love is the sound that lingers in sweet nothings, with whispers of enchanting declarations,

Fear is to be stripped of all your rocks and bricks you've laid out, to be senseless in absolute innocence,

Sadness is the forbidden things that crack our very soul, the things that play with your eyes in absolute silence,

Joy is the cherish made of the winter cold, to find the good in all icy things,

But what are you? What am I?

We are the the words that no one spoke as no voice could do us justice. We are the smiles that never crack on all the shy faces.
We are the smoke that rises in the air when candles are burnt out because no matter what you do we are still lingering about.

And I still think about you sitting pretty in that skin ******* shirt
The one with the holes in it, reminiscent of the holes in my skin
Reveal my boiling blood work and fragile spine
Eyes glued to the floor wondering what it would be like to be called 'mine'
and you're there on the couch wrapped up in deep brown talking **** to the pretty girl next to you
And I'm over here on my own knowing better than to try to make a move
When you're already preoccupied with someone else
I know I'm better by myself
Now it's nearly two months out and I'm watching you on a tiny screen in my room
Long limbs draped artfully over a guitar feet dangling in the pool tattoos indistinguishable in the evening gloom
And I wonder what it's like in your world
I wonder what it's like in your head
If it's raining or snowing or if you're choking on what you should have said
So now I'm slightly intoxicated on my back in my sheets
Praying for some sign of rain or some subtle relief
From switch screen wanting I don't even want any of you
I don't know you I don't trust you I don't know what you do
I know an idea
better left by itself
Better left alone so I can be by myself
Not for anyone else
Just me in my own skin
And you're a casualty of my sober vivid mind
An empty grave I don't want to find
An ocean packed with a thousand words better left unsaid
A persistent reminder of the emptiness of my bed
And in my dreams I'll move closer to you
I'll take hold of your calloused hand
But as I wake I know I'll run far from you
Because I'll never belong to any man
And hey I could be the tattoo on your left arm
Wrapped tight around your bones
Hey I could be the ice in your glass
But you will never be my home
No I'd rather be alone

I miss your warmth, your touch, your nearness,
I miss the solid figure I see in the darkness,
When I wake at night.

I miss your warm breath,
On my ear when I'm drifting in and out of sleep,
And I miss your hand, lazily resting on my leg when you wake during the long night.

I miss your presence, your comfort, your breathing,
I miss the way you make me feel less alone when I need it

write me a poem
and play flute for me
we'll drink the night sky
and walk by the sea !!

Stuck between
This is enough and
I need more from you

Put two free souls
In one room
And the sparks that fly
Will light up the room
In a fire they can't put out
Sparks will fly
A fire will burn
And to ashes they'll turn

Stuck between
There's too much of me
And not enough of you.