Do I want you?
I know you want me,
But do I want you to?

You're gorgeous and fun
Whilst I'm silent
Ready to turn away and run

Has it been too long?
Am I too far gone?
Because I can't hold on,
To this neverending sad song

Your face seems to be all I see
whenever I close my eyes.

why does he haunt me?
a ghost of love we never truly had,
how could I miss it?
You?
..him?

Memories flash through my head
like daggers to the chest.
Wounding me seemed to be the target
before our first encounter.
To gaze, unbothered,
at something so innocent
while envisioning
how to bring me to my knees.

did I love you? or did I love the idea
of you loving me?
I’ll never truly know
because you are a ghost
of my past.

and ghosts don’t answer questions.

You stand at a crossroads
unsure of where to step
the night is too dark
The day is always accompanied by fog
at a street corner marked by time
Where moonlight collides with your midnight blues

Why do you scare me?

I'm not sure
and maybe
I won't ever be -

I push the soft confines
of the blanket
to cover me whole

I just wish you didn't

I hastily turn the light off

A great deal of weakness
goes into the man I am now
indecision and a flurry of doubts
that make ways cloudy

But it’s fertile ground below,
this lack of surety
this endeavour to truly know

and if more would live here
how much better we would be

What would I do if you wanted this to end?

I would smile. I would hug you. I would offer you my reassurance.

Then I would leave you there to melt off into a puddle made entirely of the mess of me, sliding around in up and down directions scattered and strown like the pieces of my heart.

Planted Seeds
now Tumbleweeds
Tangled in the Brush
if it is True Love
is there really any Rush?

Rust Colors things Differently
Now days

leaving you here is right.
currently: it feels wrong, all wrong
actually currently: the middle of my face feels like about to explode because the tears won't stop streaming down my face
but leaving you here is right.
right?