My apprehension follows me wherever I go
And points out all of the possibilities of everything
To a point
Where it hurts.

As much as I entertain the fact that these possibilities are mutable,
But then apprehension whispers in my ear
sneering and squeaking like nails against a chalkboard
"How about a 10:1"

That provoking sentence elicits a tsunami of voices
Well-what-ifs and  I-know-buts mostly.
The possibilities seem to grow larger and larger as more evidence is provided that in the next moment of my existence any of these thousands of things can happen! Or better yet, they all happen at once!

The power outages from this flood leave me in a panic
I start to stagger my breathing and sometimes forget to breathe at all.
The rain pours down around my eyes and the thunder rolls around my mouth.
I no longer have control over this storm that's heading south.

And then the storm cools off,
breathing naturally comes again
And I calm down from an attack of rain
And voices in my head.

Apprehension needs a break, but they never gets disheartened
So they tag along on my back and grasps tightly onto my chest and lungs
It's going to be a long walk if I carry this thing around.
Again my apprehension is near,
But this time it's words
"10:1"

"There are 10 chances it could go to Hell, and one chance it won't so make your choice."
Those screeching words
Have made me deaf,
I can no longer hear,
The world around me.
Just that screeching voice
10:1
10:1

I'm so deep in the water that reaching the surface wasn't an option anymore
So suffocated by the abuse and pressure of the waves that eventually I give in and ride with them.
At first the salt water burned on the open wounds, but then they went numb and eventually I didn't feel the ache anymore.
After coming to the conclusion that there was no way out, it didn't even feel like I was drowning anymore.
I let go of the tsunami and let myself drown in the violent storm, because I would rather ride out the storm with you then enjoy the sunshine with anyone else.

.

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••••••••••••••••••••••••­••••••••
communicate•such are her methods to make us see•
she tries to                    the mother we've abused to such
the way                              a state•the earth we've squand-
it is                                         ered so very blindly•but we do
•                                              not change our ways • instead
                                                  we devise our feeble solutions•
                                               bunkers and alerts, in place we
                                           lay•hoping these would halt her
                                   spiteful vengeance•the past has sha-
                   red of what transpired before•our days carry
      on without words of thanks•we could never learn
of what's in store•what ripple could grow to consume    

  
**our banks•