I love you...
More than quiet trips to the library
More than a up of delicious iced coffee
More than cancelling Friday night plans
More than Tumblr and Pinterest
More than a new book that hasn’t been opened yet
More than the old bookstore smell
More than the coffee shop no one knows about so I’m the only one in it
More than finishing my homework early
More than writing a new page of my book

It was 12:30 and if you'd believe it...this was early for me
I try to acknowledge these small victories
Hardly an epiphany it seems, but maybe it was for me
but as I sip this coffee made lukewarm by thoughts and reflections becoming the sunlight through the window illuminating a different spot on the floor, I know I must acknowledge it
The taste is more bitter than that first sip and it makes me question if this is really about taste
With each stretching step, I look for something new to set my sights on and make this worthwhile
Loading memories of adventure and friends and brighter days as a habit
and then scolding myself for not being here right now
Though I breathe deeply and take faith
I've made it through, more so I realize
I like myself and
I might as well

sorry, did i stutter too much?
i hope you don’t mind.
it’s just that i’m scared my heart will fall out of my guts
if i keep talking to you like this

because how do you say i love you without saying i love you?
“i miss you” is too general to be perceived as anything but platonic, isn’t it?
but “you matter to me” is too personal for my comfort,
and “you are my world” might just be too much
for the both of us

it’s not like i’m in love with you or anything,
i just think it’d be nice to feel your heart beating
against mine.

If I don’t cut the threads on my legs,
will gravity finally pull me down?

Am I doomed here to drown?

So very tired but there's no sleep

Born to be broken,misery to reap

Words forever frozen deep down in my throat

Once upon a time dreams kept me afloat

Now drowning in this ever churning sea

I cannot fix or even find ME

You didn't break my bones or leave blood upon my face

But you placed me in a Sisterhood from which there's no escape

For as long as memory reaches throughout my history

You made it understood the fault lies all in me

Never say a word, let nobody in

There was an arrow pointing toward me with a bright sign flashing SIN

God alone knows the reason I was only prey to you

It's because of you Daddy

That I have to say "Me too"