I’m so tired

it’s as if I am digging
my own grave

into the ever growing bags

under my eyes

-depression

I am shaking
Fearful, as the shouts grow louder
Every breath leaves me aching
The hourglass has begun to fall slower and slower by the hour

Reality has crumbled into mere dust sliding through my fingers
Wordless, soundless, screaming
Avoiding the empty, shattered mirrors
Left to pace between thoughts, as my hands do the cleaning

I cut my arms on glass, but I'm not seeing the bleeding
Dripping down my arms from my veins are jokes gone wrong
Sitting, in the glass poured over me, I'm leaping
It won't be too long

I've done a bad thing and I can't be forgiven
I am smiling at the spots in my vision that look like stars
I'm dancing, swaying, to an unknown etheral rthym
The whispers are seeping through my gray walls

Words have become a mush of meaningless *******
I hear the floors loosen and soon I am falling through
Ego tandem videre stellas
Ad astra per aspera

This one sided love is making us crazy
Forcing us endlessly to drive in circles
Like two starving vultures spotting carrion
It wears on me so
I’m dizzy and tired… please just let me sleep

i'm always the one who hopes while others get to have
life only gives me lessons while others get everything
why can't i have everything?
im always the one who speaks 'it' into existence
while others exist with 'it' without hesitation
why are things limited when it comes to me?
why are my dreams too big for reality?
why can't i have it all?
why is it that when i complain, instead i should stay strong?
why is it that others speak freely and get comforted while i need to stay shut and be quiet?
why is it that my pain has to be bite size while other's pain can cover miles?
why do i have to be the strong one? why do i have to persevere?
why does it always have to be me who has to work hard,
not cry,
persevere,
not cry.
why is it always my blood,
my sweat,
my tears,
but, oh god,
don't cry.