I know you won’t replay my story and see how am I doing without you

I know you won’t be thinking about me every night at 3AM

I know you won’t be missing me every seconds

I know you won’t crave for attention from me

I know you won’t live the way I want it to be

I know you won’t notice me anymore

I know you don’t love me anymore

And i surely you don’t know everything i listed down is the opposite. For you.

Everything I do leads to you
Hoping you’ll replay my story
Hoping you’ll think about me
Hoping you’ll miss me
Hoping you’ll want attention from me
Hoping you will love the way I want
Hoping you’ll notice me
Hoping you will still love me.

Tried so hard to get your attention
And clearly you didn’t bother or even care
And it’s killing me.


Told myself I should just stop everything
I should not live by the expectation of yours so you would notice me
I should just carry on to my life
Focus on my family and friends instead of you.

I’m sorry to love you

I really don’t have much time left
really want to spend all my time with you again.

It’s been a year
I’m missing you so badly each day passes
Yes we’ve chat, we catch up a few times.
But the bond isn’t the same as last time
Because you probably move on already

I love you so much, I’m sorry to say it now
Because when you want hear it so badly I couldn’t say it out. Time will tell. And time really tell, how can I love you when it’s been a year?

Don’t made me a fool
because of you I look a ******* fool
I put so much efforts just to get close to you again.


‘seen’

It’s you all along.
Time heal? Forgive? Forget?
Those are just comforting words, it never work.

It’s been a year and it ******* hurts
Wake up every morning and ask myself
‘When are you gonna come back?’
Every single day just waiting till dark.

Tried to move on but why does it look like what I do on a daily basis, leads back to you?
Will you come back please?
Wouldn’t mind traveling down for you when I know my wallet it’s gonna burn a hole.
Wouldn’t mind to do anything for you.

But all you do is leave me on ‘read’
You couldn’t see how much efforts I put in
just to travel down somewhere near you but knowing I won’t able to see you but that is the only way to feel close again.. ‘close’

Today is yesterday's "tomorrow"

I have so much to do
yet so little time
not a penny to spend
but there's so much I need to buy
not a dollar in my pocket
and my gas light's on
I need more money
but I work, a minimum wage job
I'm behind in my online class
and can't seem to get it done
I told my mom I've submitted more assignments
when I've only half-completed some
I just failed government
a course I'm required to pass
I might not get to graduate
when all I want to do, is leave high school in the past
I just want to be happy
but lately, even breathing is hard
I need a drink and joint
and I'm still too young for the bar
the stress is like cancer
slowly taking my life away
these days, I don't even sleep
because the anxiety keeps me awake

There's this weight I carry
It's heavy and exhausting
It's beautiful, and quite daring

It yanks me down more times than I can count
Squeezes, punches, and pushes every last nerve
But it's perfect on every account

It's the hardest, most difficult weight I've ever carried
Full of kicks and screams and fits
But it's something I refuse to burry

I could walk away and live a different life
I could be weightless and free
But this weight is worth more than my own life

So I will pull it up over ranges of mountains
I will piggy back it over every raging sea
And if anyone tries to harm it, I would **** thousands

It's the most precious cargo I could ever own
It's the only I can ever have
So I choose to carry it and to never be alone

For its weight brings me great joy
And the warmth is overwhelming
So I hold tight and hold strong and enjoy

For the terrain will mellow down
And it will not always be this heavy
So this weight I hold with love, and in it I drowne.