An infinity passes,
and it's only been,
seven minutes,
forty two seconds.

Doing time with my spouse,
feels like climbing a mountain.

I have to throw up walls...
I have to refuse...
I wish I didn't have to,
But that's not possible;
At least not with you.

I love you and I've learned.
I can't give you everything.
Or you would just use me up.
The frustrating part?
You're unaware. Or your not listening.
It's the same either way.
It's for my own good
And yours too

Your reaction confirms I'm doing the right thing
Or you'd never respect my answer
(not that you really do now)
but I respect myself enough to say it.

I've been too lenient with you.
A realization that comes too late.
Like a mother and her child
Realizing her mistake during the tantrum.
The realization comes with the knowledge that you present understanding until met with opposition.
Contradictory texts and I now realize, painfully, you knew it was a big ask

....you just weren't expecting me to say no....

You don't respect my time. That much is clear. I just wish I realized it sooner.

Easter already
this year has slithered down the drain of time
where it will hide until Christmas
and have its babies

033124

I told you I would no longer write for you —
That I won’t hide it in series of poetry anymore.
I was old enough
And I know it’s no longer trendy
I write you letters but I don’t send it anyways.

I wanna tell you how much I cared
To let you go as God says so
At first, I was so scared losing you
As if you were “mine”
Though I never had this “thing” with you.

Honestly, I was left with no choice at all —
I thought you’ll wait for me
Just like what you’ve promised.
But maybe words were just empty words.

Hey, I’m sorry that you got tired of me
I was crazy to let you go without even confessing.
You’re too early and I was too late
But it’s kinda unfair
Coz I believed everything you said.

I know I hurt you too
Many times, you told me you’re no longer at peace.
I hated myself for hurting you
But I have to let myself heal and bloom once again.

The connection I had with you was different
I thought I’m already “home” when I’m with you.
But I never had the chance to cherish everything…
It was the last time, but I haven’t said anything.

The pain within me was more than my emotions,
You’re not just a piece of me
But being with you for a short span
Was like staying where I want to be.

I had so many questions in my head —
But the answer I get was you moved on already.
Seeing you around makes me forgive you
And leads me to forgive myself too.

I ain’t perfect —
But this connection has lapsed
And I have to leave this page.

Three
chests heave-
in the dark,
Breathing throughout
Each exhale.
The soundscape
adopts
a sleepers tone;
As
the clock's
      Tick tock,
Counting each second;
Becomes infinite-
The midnight's
metronome
Insues...

there will not be
     enough space
on the epitaph,
      on the tombstone
of my life,
     to recall any words
that have drowned
     in the pit
of
my
throat.

speak, fool. speak.

I always knew about the ocean's calling, deep in my heart. It keeps me wandering to find what I yearn for — could it testify the animosity of being insatiable?

I wait on the shore like a lighthouse guiding your way back to me, as if I hold faith in it, like it is a perseverance that grew in my chest. I am certain to the florescence of my flowers and to its withering as I know the  durations of its life and death is when I could meet you again. And though, the inconstant desolateness of the ocean continues to wait.

~
Belonging to Eden,
the garden of
inescapable pleasure.

Prepare to fall again
for the pretty things.

The desire to preserve life
lies at the root.

The way of flowers
--let them beckon and bloom--
sincerely upright,
vessels for memories,
methods of communicating
with distant versions of yourself,
a conversation that could
drift into tears or laughter,
personal revelation
or total silence,
depending on the mood.

If only time and thought
could be as perfectly
arranged as flowers.
~