Here is to every child that didn’t get to experience childhood.
Who had to be a grown up.
Who had to lift themselves up.
Who had to hold themselves up.
Who kept up with the beating up.

Death wasn’t supposed to be our first word.
These are not the games we wanted to play.
We didn’t imagine our first heartbreak will be at this young age.
The only love we knew was pain and cruelty.
Peace is not a word in our dictionary.

So please, excuse the way we act,
don’t freak out when we push you away;
we are not familiar with attention and consideration.

You were just the yarn, I thought,
for dreams that were mine to weave;
you were always cold, I felt,
and warmth was solely mine to give.

I told you to keep your hair untied
opinions, I believed, were mine to leave;
you found no home in this house I own,
your absence, in fact, is now mine to grieve.

hope aches
it’s a feeling that yearns for positivity
while ripping at emotions from the inside.
it’s a spell that needs just enough pain to create a final happiness.
hope craves,
starving yourself to get just a bite.

Voices in my head
They louder than i am
Louder, than whole world
Can't even hear my own word

But i don't need to hear
because i feel - you near
Near the body, but no soul
i thought that i'm your only sole
i Want to just elope with you
We could be an amazing crew;

You have been changed a lot
Now not the one I fell in love,
But one whom i forgot.

i hate myself for hoping
My heart is almost broken
Though "hopes dies last"
But my cannot -
i left them in the past.

There is for me no other way
Be safe and sound another day
I'll not survive, i want to leave
Not enough power to believe
To live without suffer, fear
i say a pray and disappear

The most precious and valuable smiles
are from
Those who suffer the most

From the beginning
we were born to die.
There is no starting over.
There are no second chances.
With death carved on our skin
how could we live a normal life?

You could run but you'll one day run out of breath.
It's just a game.
You hide your pain and sorrow.
Save it for another day
when everything just falls apart and you can't pick it up.

Medicine and alcohol keeps you awake
As you hunt your demons and monsters.
You could choose to die but then this world would fall apart.
You give others that second chance,
you give them time to run and escape
while you slaughter their monsters,
and **** their demons instead.

You've got blood on your hands
and a soldier's heart.
Your brain is beautiful
just corrupted.
You smile to stay strong
and your humor hides your internal scars.

In the end
you'll look back on your youth
and notice you died a long time ago.
You never had the chance to be happy.
You'll never know the feeling of growing old with your lover
because all your lovers are either buried below your feet,
or somewhere up in the sky with the stars.
It's not that far,
one day you'll be with them.
Then, you'll finally be able to rest your tired hands.

I've been standing in the water for a long time now
searching for the end,
but only tripping over stones in the pathway.
Someday my pain
will fade away,
but sadly I'll have to go as well
don't cry yourself to sleep.
It'll make me happy
to die while I still feel alive.
This disease has eaten all that I'm made up of.
Do this for me,
when I'm drifting away, please
hold me tight.
I rather not be alone.
Instead, point out my favorite constellations,
carve this date into a tree,
and sing to me.
Just please sing to me.
I'll find peace in your words and,
I'll catch the tears
that fall from your redden cheeks
and hold them close to me.
There's probably a better place somewhere
out there for me.
A place where there is no pain
and no suffering
because this cancer is slowly killing me,
and I can't live in this state anymore.
I'm sorry.
This world isn't for me
so I must leave.
I must leave.