My name's Anti and I crave
the dark side of a day,
I'm insecure and
sometimes I can't define what I think,
I push people away,
I've gotten so huge,
my victim sees a shrink.
I won't be tamed by pills,
a substance holds no power
over a force that kills;
sure, I'm prone to blind infatuation,
extreme heart palpitations,
but has no one ever told you
of my evergreen determination?

Humanity is losing its infinite
wisdom of recognition.

The penny were losing is more
precious than any material.

We are defeated in the essence
of our humanity that is dwindling.

"Our humanity is that which echoes on our being,
*"The substance that makes us more than not,

It’s not easy calming down…
                                          This feeling…
Calming down— this feeling
                                                         ­           Calming down…*

It was the way you moved
You had the galaxy behind you
Must admit I swooned into another lifestyle
Cigarette kisses just to taste your exile
Stranded and **** I sort of loved the way you treated me
Passed out
Drunken mess
Loved the way you sang to me
Course it wasn’t meant to be forever
Light traveled onto something better
But the shadow left was something tethered
So unexpected was the way my heart lingered
Long nights
No sleep
Wretched in demeanor
Chasing ***** with tequila
Now the cigarette kisses were my life
What the **** did I get into when I said you were forever on my mind
Another circumstance
Another lesson from the shifting sands
More than perspective this was how I learned to take a stand
So thank you
This convalescent had some kind of breakthrough
Over time the words collected
Future past and present found the same truths you gave me
I was being selfish
On some lame rouse to break free
I was really helpless
So with this I really wanna let you know
That I’m grateful
Mean you really gave the kid a chance to grow
Now the rain’ll wash the pain away
It means I’m off to find some better days
So safe travels, soft beds, and make waves

It is war
A kitchen full of hungry guest
An audience of folks ready for experience in the physical sense
You sweat, bleed, love, and hate

It is sharing
In the most obvious state
Of emotion garnished on the plate
A lit cigarette on your break

It is satisfaction
Knowing you gave it all
Or at least pretending when the orders fall
Letting your instincts flow when you stall

It is passion and peer review
A drink with "The Family" after all is through
And each pint brings you closer to
A recollection of a memory

Bottles and bottles
That’s what it takes for your love
Hit me if you must
You’re all I need.

If it must be dark
For us to speak
By God, it will be
I’m good for you.

I will never disturb you
I refuse to admit
That I would have already left
If you weren’t so hard to quit.

I prefer to lose the grip of me
and my being would traverse
to the brain I made my home in
my little universe

But to lose the touch of this
which I hold so dear
and the only thing which promised me
that would be permanently here

My memory is lacking
and my system is rewriting
my thoughts are the one
which I really should be fighting

I know I know,
You are my friend, dear *****
But I really want to put a stop

A stop to this abuse.

Let's be earnest.
I mean, let's just burn it—to the roach,
and we'll all toast, pretending like
we've earned it.
Earnest.
Here's to the all the things
we love the most:
here's to blowing smoke and
to doing enough coke to let our
noses bleed. Let's just scream
"**** the masses!" See,
we'll be back, like vapor from the ashes.
Let's be earnest, we
live life, we live it
to the fastest. Clinking
champagne glasses until life
just puff puff
passes.

He's searching for all that will destroy him and everything he knows;
anything that will help him forget the trauma and the surrounding despondent shadows.
First came the shots of ***** and the little white pills he'd swallow each and every day,
then came the self-tattooing of his skin using a thin and sharp silver tip in every which way.
Soon it was the rush of taking an ****** cocktail in the hope of drowning out the violent voice in his head;
and staying in bed for days on end, wishing to be nothing; to be neither alive or dead - but to be a nonentity instead.