Fear,
you make my body quake
leave cracks in my esteem
and invite doubts
to harbor and fester as you
send a shiver down my spine
to drown my fire.

Fear,
you soak up all the syllables.
that I was to mutter
so I stumble
and stand there mute
with my stomach heavy with nausea.

Fear,
I take guilt bites
as I am lost in panicky howls.
while you lay out procrastination unevenly
and drink from the reservoir of my energy.

Fear,
you trick my potential
wipe out my credential
leave nothing but
raspy and rough remnants for me
to draw from.

Fear,
you rule the beats of my heart
pulling me out at the first hello.
you grip me,
whisper obscurely
whilst darkness grasps my sense
and wraps my dreams with dark matter.

Fear,
with you my my soul
remains parched like the desert,
and my brain wrecked with nervosity
as the sensation spreads across my body.

But Fear,
I want to be one step ahead
of you this time.
I don’t want my fate to collapse
beneath your decisions.

Fear,
I want to spell courage louder
than your stifling whispers
as I embrace opportunities
regardless of how daunting and risky you paint it to be.

I wanted to lean in
There
At that moment
I hesitated

My heart hurt.
It pulled towards another
But stumbled over you.

You let go,
I didn’t want you to
But I knew we had to

I sit beneath the willow
As all my thoughts run free
Skipping through the meadow
Of true tranquility

I sit beneath the willow
As winds begin to blow
I feel the stumble of my thoughts
Into the valley's low

I sit beneath the willow
As rains begin to pour
I hear the gurgle of my thoughts
Till thoughts I think no more

A cloudy sky is all I see
A mind of dull torpidity
I sit beneath the willow
I sit beneath the willow

The characters I have sired over the years,
Are layers of a ground that still isn't mine

Time runs,
Rupturing the shells as the days crumble.
And I stumble,
over and over,
over myself

Old paths never cobbled

float stones, over the years.
Through the winter each day I walk
or drive this trail,
I moosh down the mud and deep
down ought or else pushes back and

water takes the waymaker function,

path of least resistance,
coming up.
Hydraulic pluerosis pops a stone into my path.

An old stumbling stone, new position.
Kick'em out the way, see watcha find

Certain con
tained
coils of oughts thought steps as
rungs from
Bethel to where Jesus says the Kingdom
of right use right-e-o-us
righteo.

come hell or high water
A.
Lor' willin', if the creeks don't rise
B.
you trust your kenotic self to flow, least re

sist dance

A. or B. Either opens the gate,

t'm'yaad, eden bydemnation namin' imps.

Clouds of could'ves push-crash

---
dis ap
proven re
proven re
al itynessification.

judge you, I judge me and we judge each
the other,
I am first reader, I and my muse and the manual dexter/sinister
skill with the maigi
tech
(I key far faster than hemingway two finger typed,
if he did, like on tv)

I correct me, I was trying and, by trying doing.
Earlier in life I magined one sneaky lie true
because it came from
Yoda,
wise entity telling Luke,
there is no try only do,

maybe for Alienated Jedi minds, not mine,

mine works if I try to do and do, so trying and doing
is done at once.
Okeh. An earlier exploration was tainted by my wish

to be seen wise in relation to an imaginary
depicted fiction seen as the source
of base level words chock full o'
wisdom... nuts... Yoda was never real.

C'mon, gimme the old American

Try again. Emulate Socrates and Jesus,

sorta comboish,
Old Ben says it worked for him,

Kenosis-like. The thirteenth step in
In Ben's
experiment in thinking as an
American might, in the future,

relative to then.

People still read the
Auto-biography of Ben, right?

A proverbial treasure buried long ago
for you.

---------

There are people who love
what you do.
Others will always hate
what you do.
The majority have no idea.
Those are the souls
I observe on sidewalks
and in restaurants.
They are confused, angry, lost.
They stumble beautifully
through the fire.

-Ron Gavalik

I saw a man fumbling
stumbling to his knees
I watched his prayer loose it’s wings from his lips as he begged of his God for release, for peace,
for a piece of bread
or a comfortable bed